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I’m 30, Single, And There’s Nothing Wrong With Me

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When a woman is in her 20s and single, the most common reaction she gets from others when asked about her relationship status is: “Oh, that’s okay. You’re young. You’ll find someone – there’s plenty of time.”

But when a woman is in her 30s and still single, BOOM, there you go – everything turns into drama: “What’s wrong with you?” “Are you really that repulsive?” “Your clock is ticking, you better find yourself a partner soon!”

It sounds cruel, right?

Well, I am about to turn 31 and I’m still single. And NO!

There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m not repulsive. And, yes, my biological clock is ticking, but what has love got to do with it?

I left my last relationship two years ago because he wasn’t ready to settle down. And I haven’t been dating since.

Why?

Because I decided to take a break from the dating world.

I decided to take a break from investing myself with all my heart and soul into one-sided, poor relationships.

I decided to take a break from wasting my time and love on guys unworthy of them.

And I’m completely fine with it.

I’m completely fine with being single.

Going alone to weddings and family gatherings is not a problem.

The only problem I’m faced with is people’s reactions to my relationship status when they hear that I’m single.

Yes, being single in my 30s sounds scary to them – like it’s the end of the world.

When I meet some old college friends, most of whom are married and have kids, or some relatives of mine, I’m amazed by the fact that none of them asks me about my education, my career, or about the time I spent living in Europe. Our conversations always start and end with my “single” relationship status.

“How come you’re still single?” “Isn’t there anyone special in your life?” “Is it so difficult for you to fall in love?” “Have you tried some of the dating apps?”

These are just some of the rude questions I’m always bombarded with at every party and social gathering I go to.

And, to be honest, it’s hard hearing those questions and enduring the way people look at me – like there’s something wrong with me.

It’s hard knowing that whenever I answer those rude personal questions, I look like I’m trying to justify myself.  I look like I’m trying to conceal my loneliness.

And I am not. Because I don’t feel lonely or miserable.

I don’t think I’m a failure.

And, okay, there are times when I wish I had someone by my side. Someone to love and share my life with. There are times when I get emotional, like when a photo of someone’s wedding pops on my newsfeed on Facebook. But that’s just a phase that comes and goes. Feeling this way from time to time doesn’t mean I’m desperate to find love.

Being single doesn’t mean I’m incapable of falling in love or committing to someone. It doesn’t mean I’ll stay single forever.

It just means that true love hasn’t happened to me yet and there’s nothing wrong with that. It means that I don’t base my happiness on my relationship status. It means that I have more time to consider my priorities and opportunities and focus on my personal and professional development.

Being single means that I have so much time to work on myself and grow that when Mr. Right eventually comes along, I will know how to show up as the best version of myself in that relationship.

And until I find The One, I’ll enjoy the love that’s present in my life – the love for my family, close friends, and all the people who truly love me and care about me.

I’ll enjoy my career and my hobbies. I’ll enjoy doing the things that make me happy and give me a sense of fulfillment.

I’ll enjoy my life and be grateful for all the amazing people I have by my side.

I’ll enjoy my life while focusing on my happiness and accepting who I am and where I am.