He was the first man I ever loved.
The first man I ever opened myself to.
He touched a part of my soul that was never touched that way before. He helped me open my heart and emotionally undress myself to him. He awoke something in me. Something that was waiting a long time to be triggered and finally set free.
But what seemed to me like the greatest love story of all time, was actually the biggest lie in my entire life.
I guess I was too naive to actually see what his intentions are.
I guess I was so desperate for love that I made myself trust him…
Or maybe he was just too good at telling lies.
Whatever it is… One thing is for sure.
I fell for someone who didn’t love me the same way I did.
It was painful to realize that I will never be loved as passionately as I loved him. But, even though life turned out to be a bitch, I cannot deny the fact that he was and always will be the most important lesson I’ve learned in life.
He was my biggest mistake, but at the same time… he was my greatest teacher.
He taught me how important it is to always be true to myself. You see, when I first met him, I instantly fell in love with him. And as time passed, I felt like I was slowly losing my sight. I could sense that there was a sudden change in his behavior, but I refused to believe that. The red flags were everywhere around me indicating that it’s finally time for me to wake up.
But, I wasn’t true to myself. I ignored them all. I lied myself every time I saw him, every time I answered the phone, desperately hoping that I’d eventually hear those 3 little words. Because deep inside of me I hoped that his feelings for me are as pure and profound as mine.
He helped me learn that some things in life simply aren’t worth our time. Even the things we sometimes believe that are right for us. He didn’t treat me like the person I wanted to be treated as.
I wasted my youth trying to put a band-aid on something that was broken from the start. Thinking back, I can clearly see that people who don’t care about you, do not deserve your time.
He taught me that life is truly unpredictable. And sometimes the things you never thought would happen – happen. I never thought I could end up begging for someone to notice me.
I always said that I would never let myself stay in a relationship that made me question everything. And yet, I somehow ended up going through the one thing I hate the most. But, I believe I know better now. I’m prepared for anything and I have the wisdom to handle this.
Last, but not least. He taught me that whatever happens, I can, I will, and I can get past it.
It was difficult for me, but I survived, didn’t I?
I cried my eyes out. I felt like something was ripped off my chest and taken away from me. My heart ached with pain. I felt like my soul was fading away. But, I found the strength and moved on. Because in the end, that’s the only thing we can do to help ourselves.
Today, as a mature and grown woman who is in a relationship with a person who gives me everything he couldn’t, I can finally say that I now know what real love is. I now know that if someone wants to spend their life with you, they’ll be with you. Simple as that.
A professional writer with many years of experience in the fields of psychology, human relationships, science, and spirituality. If you have a general question or comment please fill out the form and we will get back to you as soon as possible https://curiousmindmagazine.com/contact-us/