The hardest thing to do for every woman in love is leaving. Marriage counsellor reveals the one thing men don’t understand in a relationship.
Women end relationships for many reasons, some of which are pretty hard to understand. Cheating, lying, lack of respect, limited freedom… The list goes on. Many of these reasons simply kill the love in the relationship. However, there is one reason why women leave men even when they’re still in love. And it is more common than you think.
Marriage counsellor Justice Schanfarber opened the topic recently when he was writing about the problem he’s witnessing when talking to married couples. As a therapist, he helps his clients handle many different kinds of problems they encounter in the relationship. There are complicated reasons that cause marriages to fall apart, but in many cases, love is still present.
This is devastating and shocking. Love should be enough in a relationship, shouldn’t it be? We know that this is far from reality. In real life, partners in love split up and long-term relationships can be unhappy.
The issue that Schanfarber writes about lies in men’s behaviour. During relationship crisis, men usually fail to understand that they are causing the problem. But, they simply aren’t present enough to see that.
Whenever they spent their day working or hanging out with the boys and fail to find time for their partner, they don’t realize that this affects the relationship. They don’t see this as selfish, but it kinda is.
Women want affection and many men simply forget to show it after some time. They start taking everything for granted. She is here, and there is no need to make her feel happy every day. She can handle it alone.
Women are patient. They don’t say anything. Or they do, but when there is no change, they just stop trying. But this can’t go on forever. There comes a day when they open up and men are surprised. They cannot understand that they are the reason for the break up after all those years.
It takes a lot of courage for women to go down this road. It’s the hardest thing to leave someone you love, but women feel miserable in the relationship, and no matter how big the love is, it simply doesn’t work. That’s why they decide to leave, even after years spent together. They feel bad about it, but they don’t see other option.
Just like any human being, women need support and affection. They need someone whom they can speak to about their day. They are tired to be taken for granted. Just as they do everything to see their husband happy and satisfied, they need someone to do that for them, too.
It’s not enough to be romantic at the beginning of the relationship. Dinner dates are not only for the first couple of months. It’s not about the money, but something more important. Dinner dates are time to talk and be together. Even if it’s a cheap restaurant or you surprise her with take out after the long day. Finding time to spend with her and let her talk is what matters.
It’s important to listen to her. Maybe talking about her colleagues is boring to you, but talking about car problems is boring for her and you still do it.
Whenever you node instead of focusing on her words, she notices that you’re not paying attention and that hurts her.
Where did the passion go? She needs you to show her that you still want her and that you’re happy that you she is yours. But she doesn’t want to feel like your property, because she is not that. She wants your attention and initiative. If you manage to make her feel like she’s falling in love with you again, she will be the luckiest women alive. And you will be the luckiest men for having her.
But you need to look deeper and work on the spark. Be curious to listen about her day and her experiences. Show her that you still love her and that she is still your queen, so that she won’t forget that you’re her king. It only takes minutes to remind her of that. Minutes that can save your relationship.
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from psychology, to all sorts of disciplines such as science and news.