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To The Narcissist I Had To Leave (Even Though I Love You)

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People say we have to leave narcissists; we have to fight them off from our lives and move on. I am an empath, and I have no choice but to be attracted to narcissists. It’s my healing nature that makes me want to help those in greatest need, and who is more in need of help than you?

People say these things don’t work out. Well, I was struggling to make it work, I swear. It’s not that you didn’t want this to work out, really. It was just that you have a different perception of the world you don’t see yourself fitting for.

People shun narcissists, they make them the worst of the worst. And perhaps this is true when you look at the surface. But as an empath, I can understand those countless good souls that end up in the ‘trap’ of the narcissist.

I was strong, as any empath is. I deliberately allowed to enter the cage that was neatly prepared for me. I pushed toward it. Because I trusted the good in you, and yes, there is good in every one of us.

I can tell you that I did my part to the best of my abilities – we still love each other, and there is no force greater than love. Nothing can convince me out of loving the person I fell head over heels ever since day 1.

However, sometimes growth means pushing you out of the comfort zone you were so eager to create. The comfort zone of you ‘controlling’ me through your constant efforts for manipulation.

You may have never intended to do these things to break me intentionally – your different perception of the world did. The perception that was planted in you since you were a child, and the disturbing illusion of perfection you always strived to achieve.

It’s well known that a narcissist will do everything to stay on the top of their definition for perfection, and you did just that – it’s not that you wanted to harm me, I KNOW IT!

But I have to let you go for a while. I need you to understand that the world is cruel and that I can’t protect you all the time. I need you to understand that without the fight you were supposed to go through for us, there cannot be us.

Many will agree that letting go of the person you draw every breath for is the hardest thing to do – even harder than enduring all the disappointments and heartbreaks. It’s not that I’ve been the purest creature you know, but I did my best.

But well, I suppose I can endure this blow too, looking at what I’ve seen all these years with you. So many beautiful moments, so many heartbreaks – it’s been a rollercoaster I want to ride again – but let’s take it slow for now.

I want you to become the perfection you strive for because I know you can. You can’t put others below you and see yourself perfect, you have to rise above. I need you to understand that nobody can make your life better than you can make it yourself.

And in the end, I really can’t take it seeing our relationship and our love diminish because of your lack of effort. The comfort zone you have created means the death of us – I won’t allow it, so I could say that this is my last fight.

I hope you understand one day why I let you go, and I hope you know how much I love you and that I’m doing this for us. If there is true love, I know we’ll come back to one another bigger and readier than we were.

Until then – please don’t count on me. I’m doing too much as it is, trust me.

 

With the deepest love,
Your favorite empath

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