Home Psychology Why People Need To Stop Saying “Everything Happens For A Reason”

Why People Need To Stop Saying “Everything Happens For A Reason”


Most people get stuck in an endless loop searching for answers that would put an end to their pain. They think pinpointing the cause of their grief is their gateway to salvation. 

Surely there was a time in your life when you felt unimaginable pain and suffering, wondering if you have the strength to make it to the next day. The world as you know it has collapsed, leaving you with nothing other than heartache and despair, filled with a sense of hopelessness and emptiness.

It is in situations like these that you get to hear the unavoidable “Everything happens for a reason” line, which never helps and only serves to annoy people.

Perhaps Faith it columnist Christine Suhan is right when she says one can’t possibly imagine a reason for what just happened, that trying to make sense of a situation that won’t ever make sense will amount to nothing in the end.

She says what we need to do is embrace pain, grief, heartache, disease, loss, and death as inevitable part of human existence and ditch the notion that we are somehow entitled to a pain-free journey through life.

The fact is we cannot blame life and say we were dealt a bad hand; we need to embrace suffering as an unavoidable part of human existence and make our peace with it. 

When people are faced with the loss of a loved one, they struggle to make peace with “God’s plan” for their life, wondering if it was all part of God’s grand plan.

According to Ms Suhan, how you walk the path is what matters; not the path itself.

She says it is never God’s will for someone to have cancer, it is never his plan for an innocent child to die a brutal death, it is not part of his divine design for you to suffer from terrible pain and die.

She says that we need to accept whatever calamity life throws at us and use it to get closer to God, to walk Him through our pain and through it to carry His message of grace, forgiveness, hope and mercy.

According to her, He never intended for us to suffer in our lives, but rather to live our lives in harmony and peace with Him. And when we hurt, so does He. Illness, pain and suffering became part of the human experience through sin, and it is what we do with our suffering and how we handle tragedy that really matters.

Life just doesn’t offer justifiable explanations for all the bad things that befall us. People keep saying that there is something good in every situation but the truth is that is hard to find a positive in your darkest hours.

Where is the bright side in getting raped or killed? Perhaps Suhan put it best when she said that it is up to us to create the good in life so that our suffering can have some purpose.

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