Many people are struggling to find love in today’s world. Those few who have found their perfect partner don’t realize how lucky they are. But, imagine living with anxiety and finding love.
Anxiety as a disorder is so present in the Western world today, but many people still have difficulties living with it. The condition is very specific and can be different from one individual to the other.
Dealing with it makes many things harder for the person, mostly those connected to socialization, but it also influences the emotional state of the individual, thus affecting every aspect of life.
From here, finding love gets more difficult and becomes a real problem for many. Here is why people with anxiety have difficulties finding love.
People dealing with anxiety usually think of themselves less than they really are. This becomes a bigger issue when they start dating because they are overly critical to their actions and choices. This also lowers their confidence. Instead of focusing on the good things at the beginning, they obsess over small details about themselves and their partner.
Fear of panic attack
Fearing over your own life is part of the daily life for great part of these people. If they have lived through a panic attack, it is worse because they’re constantly waiting for another one to happen. This makes them live in a constant fear, not being able to relax and enjoy the time.
Not being comfortable with small talk
First dates are the worst for them because they hate small talk. It makes them more anxious. If they get to a second date, they will probably be completely different compared to the first date. Moreover, first dates are personal hell for them because they are constantly expecting the worst to happen and they tend to worry a lot about every minor detail that might mean something more.
They are looking for someone who understands them
It’s more difficult to find the perfect match when you have a mental condition such as anxiety. When looking for a partner, people with anxiety seek for someone who will understand their condition. They need a companion who will support them and not leave them after the first panic attack. They often doubt that they can find support like this in another person.
Feeling of loneliness
They have felt lonely for a long time and they don’t want to feel lonely anymore. However, the fear of ending and disappointment is even scarier. This step out of their comfort zone is gigantic for them. They fear that they will be left alone again and sometimes, it’s safer for them not to get into a relationship in the first place.
They’re not feeling comfortable in public
People with anxiety need to spend time alone occasionally. They’re used to this feeling and they would like to have some time for themselves even if they’re dating. No matter how much they try, they can’t feel comfortable enough when they are in front of others.
They’re afraid their relationship will end
Once they’re dating, people with anxiety overthink about every little detail that might affect the relationship just because they’re afraid it might end. Sometimes, the things they worry about don’t make sense, but they still affect their view of the relationship.
They’re afraid their partner will leave them
In the relationship, they will always think they’re not good enough for their partner. They will always think that their partner deserves someone better. This fear of losing their significant other makes them feel depressed at times.
They don’t want to argue
They will do anything but confront or argue with their partner. This might seem like a good thing, but it’s not. It’s normal to argue over some things in every relationship and not doing it can cause tension between the partners, which can consequently affect the whole relationship and cause additional problems.
They might become addicted to their partner
In solving their anxiety issues, they might become addicted to their partner who will provide support for them. Although they have dealt with anxiety alone in the past, they can change and start relying on their partner’s help for everything. Addiction can never be positive in a relationship.
Photo by María Victoria Heredia Reyes