Parents are the most important people in children’s life. They are their children’s guardians towards adulthood. They are the ones children look up to. Parents are there to support and teach their children important life lessons.
Children think that their parents are not just ordinary people. In their eyes, their parents become some sort of superheroes – there is nothing that mom and dad can’t do.
That is why it is essential for parents to be aware of how they talk to their children because every word and action from their parents can get stuck in their psyche for life.
These are phrases that you should NEVER utter to your children no matter what:
You should not say this phrase to your child even if you feel that there is not a reason for crying. They are kids; they don’t know how to control their emotions yet. However, by saying this to your children, you teach them that it is not okay to have emotions and be emotional, which can be dangerous because they will suppress their emotions in the future and that is not a good thing.
Try saying something like this instead: “It is okay to cry, but you must understand that the thing you did was wrong.”
“I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.”
This is a phrase that parents usually say to their children when they did something wrong. Your children already know that what they did was wrong and are feeling guilty about that, so you telling them they have disappointed you will only worsen the situation. You must support them in their hard times – not make them feel like a disappointment.
Say this instead: “What you did was really wrong. Let’s talk about that, okay?”
“YOU ARE NOT (SOMETHING) ENOUGH!”
You will hurt your children deeply if you tell them that they lack something; be it externally or internally. These words will stay with them and can make them insecure when they grow up.
You should try saying: “You are (something]) enough, but if you want we can work harder on it.”
“BIG BOYS/GIRLS DON’T GET SCARED.”
This is not true. Everyone gets scared. It is human. Telling your kids to not be afraid doesn’t make their fears to magically disappear. You should teach your children how to face their fears instead of escaping from them.
You should say something like: “Everyone gets scared. It is okay to feel scared sometimes, but I’ll try to help you to overcome your fear.”
You should never ever say this phrase to your children. They see you as someone who they can trust and admire, and when they hear you say this phrase guess what? – They will believe you. They will think that they are worthless indeed, and this feeling will stay with them even when they are grownups. They will constantly seek approval from others.
Try saying this instead: “No one is perfect honey, you will do better next time.”
“YOU ARE A BAD KID!”
We all make mistakes. As adults and as children everyone has made some, and will still make in the future. You should never let one mistake from your kid to speak for his/her overall personality. Mistakes don’t define a person, but telling your children this phrase will make them feel like they are innately bad.
Try using this phrase instead: “I hope you understand that what you did was wrong.”
Well, if you don’t do everything for your children, who will? You are their parent, you are supposed to do everything for your children and never make them feel like they owe you something by saying this phrase to them. They didn’t choose to be born in the first place.
“YOU ARE FAT.”
If your kid is really fat, he/she probably knows this. They have heard this insult probably from the other kids. You should not ever insult and tear down your kids this way. This leads them to feel self-conscious and to have a negative image of their body in the future. You should make them feel loved and appreciated – not bullied.
You should instead motivate them to lose weight by saying something like: “I am thinking about starting to eat healthy and getting into shape. Do you want to join me? I don’t want to do it alone.”
Love your children for who they are, and try to motivate them instead of insulting them by using these words.
SHARING IS CARING!