The greatest Sex and the City fans remember the time when Big dated a movie star in Season Four. “She can reach me, but I can never reach her”, he would say to Carrie anxiously. The amazing thing about this scene is that it’s totally relatable. Haven’t you dated someone who has made you analyse his every move just to find out where you stand with him? I believe we have all been there.
The thing about this kind of relationship (if you can call it that) is that can never be sure about what the other person likes or wants. At times, you are sure that you finally know what he is like, what he wants, but then he does something and takes you back in the vortex and you are lost again.
You’re sure he likes you whenever he reaches you first, inviting you to his place for Netflix and chill. When he sends you a cute message just to say hi late in the night before he goes to sleep.
But, just as you are thinking about your future together, he does something stupid like not answering for days or cancelling your date for no reason. Sometimes, he just starts acting cold and he seems like a totally different person from before.
In this period of going back and forth, you expect the right moment when everything seems perfect to start a relationship and get things serious. But, at the same time you doubt that he likes you as much as you like him.
His behavior confuses you. Some days, he is romantic and thoughtful and other days, you get the feeling that he is bored when he is with you and every other person would make him happier than you. You keep getting these mixed signals from him as it gets more and more confusing.
You try to be open. “We are all different”, you say to yourself. Maybe you’re overreacting to everything. You don’t tell him how you feel because you don’t want to push him away. So, you act like everything is just fine. You don’t ask questions and start to follow his steps. When he wants to kiss you, you enjoy the moment. When he hasn’t answered for two days, you don’t tell him that you have waited for his message. You don’t know your relationship status, but you decide that it’s better not to ask because it might scare him away.
But only you know how frustrating this situation is and with time it only gets worse. The fact that you don’t know what he wants makes you anxious. You realize that it would be better if you were honest from the beginning and talked to him about everything that bothers you.
It would have been much better to end it back then rather than go through these games. You like him, but you hate the way he makes you obsess about little details that don’t even have significance at the end. You love how he kisses you and tells you you’re beautiful, but you hate him every time he ignores your messages and cancels the date the last minute.
You love the way he makes you feel like the only girl in the world, but you hate him every time he goes out with his friends and doesn’t invite you.
You love spending time with him, but you hate how he decides when you hang out, not you. You hate how he can always reach you, but you cannot reach him.