Can you remember the first few months of your relationship? I bet it was romantic. Your head was always in the clouds and you felt like you’ve got everything you need in life.
Every relationship is like this at the beginning and it’s clear why. You and your partner are attracted to each other and with every new thing you learn about them, you feel that you connect more and your relationship is growing. It’s exciting.
The bad thing is that this feeling of excitement usually diminishes after some time. Once the relationship has become serious and developed, the problems start to arise.
There are still moments with your partner that you cherish and there are days when you feel like at the beginning, but they become rarer with time. After years spent with the person, you feel that you know everything about them and that you have explored everything there is to explore. But, is it really like that?
Sure, being in a long-term relationship is demanding and needs work, but it doesn’t mean that it also needs to get boring and monotonous.
The beauty in being with someone for so long is in the small things you do for each other. It’s in the communication you maintain and in the moments you share.
As hard as it may seem it is to maintain a long-term relationship, as rewarding it can be at the end. After all, the person next to you is the person you love the most and you want to see them happy.
What can you do to make your relationship last?
- Have a common dream and plan ahead
After the long working hours and the many house chores you do on a daily basis, who can think of something else but rest and sleep at the end of the day? In order not to lose yourself among the responsibilities, it’s important not to forget about your common plans and dreams.
You remember the things you used to daydream about together with your partner? Therapists advice keeping those dreams alive even after years spent in a relationship. Setting common goals represents a foundation for the life that you’re building together.
2. Don’t give up on intimacy
It’s easy to stop being intimate after years of marriage. The physical attraction that used to be present is just not the same. It feels that something is missing. It’s up to you to get the missing part to its place.
It’s more difficult to spark the passion compared to the beginning of a relationship, but it’s far from impossible.
Being intimate is an important part of every relationship. Thus, you need to make it a priority. Overcoming the obstacles will be much easier when you’re physically intimate with your partner.
3. Never stop communicating
Many would agree that continuous communication is vital for a relationship. That’s true for every phase of a relationship – no matter if you’re at the beginning or you’ve known them for years.
Once you’re in a long-term relationship, you have to share everything with that person – problems, thoughts, bills, fails, as well as successes and rewards. It’s vital to share those moments and emotions with your partner in order for them to share everything with you.
Effective communication is about being honest and feeling close to them – so close you want them to know all about what’s happening to you.
4. Appreciate the good things
Nobody is perfect and after some time, you start to notice both the bad sides and good sides when it comes to your partner. We already established on the importance of honesty and communication. But apart from being honest about the flaws, it’s as important to underline the perks.
Do they kiss you every day before they leave for work? Tell them how much you appreciate that. It’s important for them to know what are the things you like about them.
Often, relationships become monotonous and couples get apart because they don’t encourage the good things in the other person.
- Expect them to change and be ready to embrace it
Scientists agree that people change once in every 7 or 8 years. It may be a minor change with the hairstyle or clothing, but it also may be a drastic change in the mind of the person. When this happens, it’s vital for the partner to be the support instead of the critic. It’s important to allow the change to happen and embrace it. Of course, it’s important to communicate about this with the partner, just to make sure you’re both on the same page and in order to let them know that you’re together with them in this.
- Compromise when needed
Compromising is inevitable when you spent a lot of time with someone. It’s normal not to share the same views about certain things. Actually, that shows they’re not fake, but they’re completely honest and real with you.
When disagreements occur, it is only acceptable to discuss about it in a calm way. Let them speak and hear them out instead of yelling at them for disagreeing with you. Even if you can’t understand their reasoning, it’s smart to learn to compromise.
- Learn to say sorry
Everybody is wrong at least once in their life. Most of us have made many mistakes that we’ve felt sorry about later, but not many have been brave enough to admit it and apologize for their mistakes. In a relationship, it’s important to be honest no matter what. If you’ve done something wrong and you know about it, there is no reason why you shouldn’t apologize to your partner. Stubbornness is your enemy here. Forget about the pride and make an effort to apologize for your mistakes.
On that note, also learn to accept an apology and move on.
- Never give up
No matter what happens, you’re the person who decides whether the relationship is going to succeed or not. There will be difficult times when they’ll need your sacrifice and support. But all of those are totally worth it for the times when you realize how lucky you are that you have them.
It won’t be easy to overcome every obstacle that comes on your way, but remember that no relationship is perfect, no matter how great it looks. Every challenge you face will bring you closer and make your love stronger.
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from psychology, to all sorts of disciplines such as science and news.