Have you ever noticed that our friends, families and everybody else always seems to know what is best for us? It’s like they demand that we leave our lives into their hands! And what is worse, we let them do just that.
We let everybody else be the expert on how we should live our own lives, except us. We actually believe that they have that right and like blindfolded fools we do whatever they say we should do and go wherever they lead us to…. never asking questions.
But this very wrong behavior of ours must stop, once and for all. Usually this kind of seeking self validation is very common when we are young and still building our character, but when we grow up and become older we should also become wiser and start separating our thoughts from the thoughts of others.
Unfortunately many of us don’t reach this level of wisdom, the level of self-love. But, if you wish to take control of your life you must love yourself 100%!
And not worrying what other people think or say about you is the highest form of self-love. People that love themselves are smiling, they enjoy life. Sure they have problems like every human being, but they don’t stress about it.
They know that they can deal with all life challenges and they don’t need no one else’s appraisal for doing what’s right. This kind of people love themselves so much that they don’t fear what others may think of them.
All happy people have learned the lesson how to let go of fear… the fear of not being good enough. And you should do exactly the same, let your fear go. Just let go of all judgmental statements of others, let go of your need to be depended on other’s approval.
A very important thing to remember is that you can never please everyone. There will always be someone who doesn’t like you. But, you are not here to live up to other people’s expectations!
You have come into this world to be yourself, to find out who you are and just be that unique Self! And exactly this is your mission on Earth, to be 100% of You!
What matters the most when you want to become this real you, is how you see yourself, not how others see you. We all see and experience reality differently. Most of the time the opinion one has for you depends on the emotions they have at the moment.
For example, if a person is in a good mood and previously has had a good opinion of you, he’ll say that you are ok and he’ll like you. But the very next day, even next hour, if this same person is in a bad mood, his won’t even notice that you are standing next to him, or he might say that you are a bad person and blame you for all the evil in the world.
So here you have another lesson to learn – don’t take anything personally! People’s opinion change constantly depending on their own emotions, it has nothing to do with you.
You must learn to cultivate self-love and self-esteem because the perception we have about ourselves is greater than the perception the others have for us.
If you learn that all you need is your own approval to do the things you love, in the way it pleases you, you shall never depend on anyone else to make you happy.
Remember, happiness is not “someone” or “something”, it is a way you look at life, the aspect from which you choose to understand life.
Something else that is also very important is to understand that you are not the center of the world and people don’t think about you all the time!
As very egocentric beings, humans tend to be overly preoccupied with themselves. So stop using someone else’s value system.
You must build your own. Don’t you ever lose your confidence and self-esteem in a value system of someone else who is also waiting to be validated!
Sit down, take a deep breath and give yourself a definition of who you are and what you like to become and stick to it.
Another thing is that you can never control what other people think of you, but you can control how you react to other people’s opinion. And please, always choose a reaction that puts you in a higher level of becoming who you truly are!
Here I must add that you must also be careful to whose opinion you react. Is this a close person, someone who means a lot to you and you mean a lot to them? Does this person want what is best for you and shall never hurt you or they seem to lead you astray from your dreams and wishes?
You must surround yourself with people that back you up, that no matter what are always there for you.
Be the best of you, become the best of you, because at the end of the day it is your life and it is you that have to live it!
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from psychology, to all sorts of disciplines such as science and news.