In the modern world of digital technologies, it is impossible to imagine people without gadgets. Cell phones, tablets, and computers are an integral part of our lives. Parents are always an example for the child, especially in childhood. Children watch their mother and father, see the means of communication in their hands and are interested in them. In our time, it is impossible to protect a son or daughter from devices. But parents can either regulate their presence in their children’s lives, or let the situation take its course. So you will not be able to completely abandon electronic devices. But that’s what parents are for, to control their children’s lives. So the use of gadgets should take place under the supervision of mom and dad.
What are the problems of concern to today’s parents?
The problems are different, but the essence is the same-loss of contact with the child, lack of mutual understanding and difficulties with control. This has always been the case, but now, perhaps, it is felt more acutely, because parents and children belong not only to different generations but also to different communication systems. Children are already completely in the computer world, and parents still sometimes with books.
What should I do? Force children to read?
No, of course not. They won’t read it. And it is pointless to force them, it will only lead to quarrels. In the history of mankind, there is a periodic change in communication technologies. This is a natural process, but we are just at the very beginning of it. The sensory modality has changed — children no longer read, but watch. While reading, you must imagine, that is, imagine everything that you are reading about. And when you look, you don’t need imagination. The signal goes directly to the occipital cortex of the brain, which is a different perception. Children already belong to a new communicative culture. The maximum that parents can do is to read for themselves, taking advantage of the fact that children like to be around. Or give them to audiobooks. Lauren Grabois Fischer has the perfect collection and all her books teach kids to be proud of who they are. The Be Books is a children’s book publishing company that believes in empowering and educating our youth to live a positive and peaceful life.
What do you mean by communication culture?
Representatives of the Toronto School of Communication Theory believe that communication technologies determine the type of culture and mentality of people. For example, a person of the Middle Ages differs from a representative of the New Time, they have a different picture of the world and values. Consciousness depends on the structure of society, after all, we are social animals. And society is defined by how people interact with each other. The emergence of a new way of communication always leads to serious changes in the individual, culture and society. Researchers distinguish three stages of communication development — oral, written and audiovisual. So, in the Middle Ages, people used speech and hearing to communicate, the main thing here is to understand each other’s language. And in this society, there was no childhood as a social category. From the age of five, as soon as a child gets on his feet, learns to talk, he becomes a full-fledged member of society. He is fed and dressed like an adult. It will still grow, it will become stronger, but no discounts are made to it anymore.
So, we need to take away gadgets from children?
No. Children need to be taught based on their involuntary attention. This is an objective fact, and there is nothing you can do about it. Apparently, when teachers from the new generation come, they will already use new methods and teach children correctly. In the meantime, the child is forced to learn in a system that is not adapted to his way of perception and communication. Every day, he leaves the family for some other world, a different existence, so his parents will have to help him. The school, by the way, is well aware that it can not cope, so it gives tasks not so much for the child as for his parents.
Many children spend hours online. How to recognize Internet addiction?
If you see that the child does not part with the gadget, and if you take it away, falls into a rage or despair, this is already an addiction. A terrible sign when a child does not leave the room, you can not enter it, and food must be left under the door. It’s time to seek professional help. If he/she goes to school, copes with his/her studies, communicates with his/her family, and the rest of the time sits at the computer-it’s okay, it’s now normal.
It is unlikely that parents will accept the child’s total fascination with the computer.
I can only sympathize with them — they will have a difficult parental path. You know, there is an expression “parents are people who give me pocket money”. So, a parent is someone who can support you. The child will not find this on the Internet. It would be wrong if instead of supporting us, we start teaching, reproaching, yelling and punishing.
What else should parents of “digital” children learn?
To abandon their own ambitions. The type of culture has changed, and our knowledge will not be useful to children. But we can help emotionally. The subcortical areas of the brain develop more slowly than the cortex, so the emotional functioning of a child, as well as an adult, does not change — we feel the same as primitive people. The child will benefit from the mental health that children receive in a family with a high psychotherapeutic potential. This is a family where people are calm, spend time together and support each other. This creates emotional support that is important for the child.
What do you think about punishments —should they be applied?
Modern children are not very receptive to punishments. Therefore, it is necessary to build an emotional connection with the child, so that the distance in this zone creates discomfort for him, the fear of losing emotional warmth. This is the main lever. There are no others.