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The Road To Happiness And Success: Resist Change And Learn How To Live With Yourself


Are you tired of constantly having to adapt to changes and keeping up with the latest trends in contemporary culture? Do you often wish to just stop right where you are, put down roots, and stand firm, but then again, you’re afraid that if you do that, others will see you as conservative, unadaptable, and reactionary? Well, if your answer is yes then know, you’re not alone.

Many will wonder why would someone rather put down roots and resist change than fit in the accelerating culture we live in? The culture which is characterized by dynamic concepts, such as transformation, development, learning, and innovation. The culture where change is the only constant.

Change. That’s the key concept, but also the reason why most of us lack purpose and direction in life. We’re constantly on a journey looking for the latest recipe for happiness and success. We’re constantly chasing the latest trends and trying to be one step before the others as well. 

And while we’re trying to adapt to our surroundings and self-develop, we’re missing out on the important aspects of life: peace of mind, self-control, dignity, and sense of duty towards others.

So, that’s why the idea of standing firm and resisting change should be given more attention. Because the various problems we’re daily faced with – economic, ecological, psychological, or political are the result of a philosophy of constant change and growth.

Standing firm doesn’t mean you’re conservative or rigid. It simply means you’re able to accept what you are and what you have rather than constantly adapting and developing. Standing firm prepares you to cope with future adversities and enables you to accept your responsibilities, and especially, duties towards others.

I know there are people who simply don’t want to put down roots – they’re doing well in the accelerating culture. And I’m aware, too, that it’s important for children and young people to be able to adapt and develop, but as adults, we should be capable of standing firm.

Because if we’re not, as time passes, we run the risk of losing integrity and missing out on the important aspects of life mentioned previously.

You need to understand that the road to happiness and success is not through self-developing and adapting, but through standing firm on your own ground. It’s not through finding yourself, but through living with yourself.

This leads us to one of the most pervasive concepts in contemporary culture – the concept of finding yourself by listening to your gut feelings.

If you’ve ever doubted anything, (and I’m sure you have), you’ve probably asked your parents, friends, or partner: “What do you think I should do?” and you were likely told: “The answer you’re looking for lies within yourself.” You were told to follow your gut feelings. But the truth is, you won’t find answers by looking inwards.

For example, if someone is in trouble and comes to ask for your help, there’s no point whatsoever basing your reaction on how helping that person would make you feel. 

Instead, you think about the person who needs help and about what they actually say, and not about how their words make you feel.

It’s important to understand that instead of looking inwards you should be open to what surrounds you: other people, nature, and culture.

You need to understand that it isn’t a feeling inside of you that determines whether you’re doing the right thing. That the self does not hold the key to how to live your life.

The concept of finding yourself and self-developing is so pervasive that it’s become a part of all spheres in society. For example, students are expected to look for answers not only in textbooks but by exploring their inner selves. Employers send us on personal development courses so that we can explore our abilities and competencies.

But, the question is: “Has the focus on exploring ourselves and following our gut feelings brought us any good? Have we really found ourselves or is this even possible?”

Well, I don’t think so.

But are your gut feelings really worth listening to? For example, what if they tell you that you should go for your new attractive colleague although he or she already has a partner? Or what if you feel like you could eat a whole bag of peanut butter chips, but you’re allergic to peanuts. Would you still eat it?

Yes, gut feelings are not sensible and reliable. You need to understand that you can’t navigate through life by relying on them. They have no value.

But, what does have inherent value is fulfilling your duty to the people you’re interconnected. Oftentimes, the journey to find yourself leads to others being sacrificed and this makes it impossible for you to fulfill your obligations to others.

And, just to make it clear – I’m not saying that you should never trust your “inner voice”, but you should always take it with a dose of healthy skepticism.

Last words, if we all understand that standing firm in a society that cultivates individuals who are adaptable and constantly focused on self-development and self-realization is not a sin or a tragedy, everyone will see how fulfilling and rewarding this can be.

Because those who reject the whole ideology of finding and developing yourself have more chance of living a life with a certain degree of integrity and sticking to what is important in their life.