Many believe that people who are in a long-term relationship should shack up first and try living together before they dive into the sometimes turbulent waters of marriage. Others, on the other hand, believe that shaking up could shake up the relationship and ruin the chances of a tying the knot.
These opposite sentiments can be confusing; so if you want to know whether or not you should or shouldn’t live with your partner before marriage, you should follow these tips.
1. Marriage is an established union that forms a legally, religiously, and socially recognized bond. With marriage come new responsibilities, people develop new traits and the outcome isn’t always a good one.
2. The one thing you should always remember is that the fear of divorce is real and it can arise from daily instances that seem trivial at first but hold the potential to grow into bigger and more serious issues later on.
Always focus on the positive; do not hold onto the negative and always remind yourself why you two are together. There must be a good reason if you are considering living together.
If you can’t find anything good to hold onto to, you should revise your relationship and make the difficult decision of calling it off before it becomes more serious. After all, a serious relationship is no relationship if it stands on shaky, glass legs.
3. Another thing you should always keep an eye on is money. Money is trivial; understanding, respect and love are crucial. You need to watch out from the so-called money mistakes.
If you are a power couple and if both of you have successful careers, you probably have separate accounts and spend your earnings just as if you were single. Try to talk it out and make a plan about your financial future.
Don’t forget why you are together and start making plans about your future together; this includes children, a joint checking account, a pension fund, a home and so forth. If you can’t see eye to eye on such an issue, reevaluate the relationship. Adults don’t fight over these things.
4. Living together doesn’t mean you have to get married right away. Slow down. Test the relationship out; let living together settle. Don’t put unwarranted pressure on your partner.
Let the relationship take its natural course. What’s the rush? If it works, marriage will definitely come. Unwarranted pressure can only ruin a relationship; it has never resulted in a happy ending, you can be sure of that.
5. Don’t forget to be spontaneous; don’t let yourself be dragged into a dull everyday life because it will ultimately ruin your relationship.
Don’t forget to leave each other some breathing space and enough time to appreciate your life together. Living together doesn’t mean you should stop being adventurous and turn into a boring couple that eventually drowns in their daily routine.
Don’t grow old before your time. Enjoy your youth together. These could be the best years of your life. Don’t overthink it, just go with the flow.
6. One of the biggest aspects of living together is dividing up the chores around the house. The biggest mistake you can make is letting chores – like washing the dishes or doing laundry – turn into full-blown arguments.
It all depends on you and how you were brought up. If one of you likes the house to be spick and span all the time, they will probably do most of the work; but helping out will only make your partner love you more and appreciate your effort.
There are other “traps” along the way, but if you only focus on the love you have for each other and if you respect each other, nothing will stand in your way.
Living together is like taking the relationship for a test drive. If it fits, it fits; if it doesn’t, at least you will know before taking it to the next level.