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This Is How Dating The Right Guy Changed The Way I See Myself


It’s unbelievable how one person can change the way you see yourself and give your life a completely new dimension.

And this is exactly what happened to me when I met my boyfriend.

When I look back at my life, I feel as if my life consists of two phases: one before I met him and the other after it. During the first one, the way I saw myself was more or less shaped by my achievements and by the image my loved ones had of me. I focused my attention on achieving my goals and meeting the expectations of my family. I did my best to become the person I always wanted.

Nevertheless, I have a lot of pleasant memories from that period that I’ll always cherish. For example, I remember the day I graduated. I walked across the stage and the first thing I saw was the proud faces of my family. They had high expectations of me and I gave my best to never let them down.

The same expectations and success followed me at the university. Then I got a job as a teacher and I checked off the last thing on my to-do list.

I was satisfied and proud of myself.  I was the best daughter, sister, and friend, an excellent student and a teacher. I know the pursuit of my goals made me miss many opportunities to spend time with my family and friends, but I don’t regret it. I made proud those who were always there to support and encourage me to move forward when times got rough and I thought I wouldn’t make it.

And then, it all changed. I met the guy who made me see myself in a completely different light.

He made me feel in ways I’ve never felt before and look at life from a different perspective. He gave me an insight into who I really was.

There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship and ours had ups and downs as well. But, it was not the difficulties or the arguments we had to go through that changed the way I see myself, but his reaction to them.

When I got upset with him, I’d just avoid talking to and even seeing him. I sometimes even turned off the phone and didn’t answer his calls for days. When he apologized, I was cold towards him because I thought that would “teach him a lesson” and in a way, save me from getting hurt again. I know it was the most immature thing to do, but I guess that was my way of dealing with issues like that one.

The way he behaved towards me and made me feel changed the way I see myself.

Yet, when he got mad at me, he never treated me the way I treated him. He always insisted on talking things through and he never ignored me or tried to hurt my feelings on purpose. This made me see how selfish and inconsiderate I was for having treated him that way. I felt ashamed.

I realized that I was only interested in my own emotional well-being and that I disregarded his feelings.

I also realized how emotional I was and that I let my emotions affect my actions. When I was angry, I yelled at him. When I was hurt, I distanced myself from him.

You see, it’s funny how I always thought highly of myself and that I was the best at everything, but I failed to realize how impatient and selfish I was. I failed to realize that I lacked understanding for his feelings and opinions. I took him for granted.

I started to see that I was the one who had to work on myself.

All of a sudden, I saw that I had many flaws and that I needed to change myself. And I was willing to do so. I wanted to improve myself.

So, I tried to be patient with him and accept him for who he was – with all his imperfections. I learned to attentively listen to him when he talked to me about his problems and things that mattered to him.

I learned to be less judgmental of other people as well.

The relationship with my boyfriend also changed the way I behaved in the relationships with other people. Before I met him, I never showed my feelings openly. When I was sad or angry, I’d pretend that I was fine. Or when someone close to me, such as my friends or family members, did something wrong to me, I’d just distance myself from them and wait for my wounds to heal.

But, the relationship with my boyfriend was probably the only one where I didn’t need to withhold my emotions and keep my opinions and problems to myself. I felt free and comfortable to share them with him.

I realized that it wasn’t the pursuit of my goals, or my successes or the fact that I overcame many obstacles which appeared along the way that made me feel strong and brave. Instead, that was my willingness to defend my values and ideals and my determination to always act in accordance with them.

This is how dating the right guy made me face the parts of myself that I ignored and tried to hide from others. This is how he changed the way I see myself and inspired me to become a better version of myself.