Whether it’s a TV show, an artist, a book, or a hobby – I tend to get so hyper and fixate on that particular thing until I can’t stand it and I decide to drop it afterward.
I could stay up the whole night and watch 3 seasons of my favorite show because I can’t stop. I could also finish an interesting book in one day because I am too curious to not know what will happen next.
I was obsessed with Linkin Park for months. And I can still watch “Friends” even though I have watched it a million times. Moreover, from time to time I rejuvenate my painting ‘obsession.’
So, why is it that I cannot like something and not become completely obsessed with it?
I think that’s because I get overwhelmed by my anxiety and depression, that these ‘obsessions’ serve me as perfect distractions from my inner distress. The truth is I don’t know how to cope with my feelings of uneasiness and anxiety without being completely fixated on something else.
If I am not excessively reading a book, or bunging on a show – these wrenching thoughts will appear again. If I don’t listen to the lyrics of my favorite band, my mind will fill itself with devastating thoughts.
This way I am protecting myself. I would much rather focus on Ross and Rachel’s relationship than deal about my abandonment issues. I would rather get lost in the music than think about how I’ve been unproductive the whole week.
It’s my kind of coping mechanism that works for me.
Moreover, I don’t see my hyperfixation as a bad thing. I see it only as an aspect of my mental illnesses that I have to accept and live with it. It may look silly and annoying to some people – but it’s something which works for me.
Surrendering to my passions is keeping me from falling into the vortex of depression.
And even though hyperfixation may not entirely be my coping mechanism per se, but it works for me and I am not ashamed to be ‘obsessed’ with something which helps me endure better my depression and anxiety.
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Mary Wright is a professional writer with more than 10 years of incessant practice. Her topics of interest gravitate around the fields of the human mind and the interpersonal relationships of people.If you have a general question or comment please fill out the form and we will get back to you as soon as possible https://curiousmindmagazine.com/contact-us/ .
