I believed in you when no one else did. I stood by your side when everyone told me to run. I chose you when everything else indicated that I should just leave and focus on myself. I trusted you. I even sacrificed my dreams to be there for you.
Because something in that smile of yours told me that there was more to this. Something in those eyes of yours convinced me that you can change. That you want to change.
So, I gave you everything I had and more. But, it wasn’t enough.
It never was enough for you.
Yet, I still decided to cling on to my foolish hopes that you are willing to make this work. I wonder if that was just genuine optimism or simply an extremely high level of masochism.
I know it took me a lot to save my soul from that victim identity. It took a lot of frustration and confusion to finally realize that we’ll never be the couple I dreamed we could be.
But, I am finally here. After a long time of fighting with myself, after a long time of hoping in vain, after many tears, wasted years and regrets, I have finally made my decision.
I’m leaving you and nothing you say or do about it that will change my mind.
In those last moments, when everything I wanted to see was your determination to save this relationship, you betrayed me.
You were quick to fall for another woman.
It was the final straw. I overlooked so many things through the years, hoping that somehow everything will fall into its place, but this… this was it.
We all have a certain breaking point, so I guess that was mine.
Right then and there, you broke me. You showed me that I was just a fool in love. You showed me that there was nothing left for me to fight for out there. You made it clear that you never cared for me as much as I cared for you.
So, this is me. And this is my final message for you.
Enough is enough.
I cannot put myself through more suffering and trauma because of you. I cannot sacrifice my life for this. It’s just not worth it.
I’ll admit it. It wasn’t all your fault. Part of it was me hurting myself trying to understand the reason for your actions. But, I was blind. I was trapped in the darkness of my oblivion. I could not see reality for what it was.
Luckily, I somehow find my way out.
So, this is me after a long, painful and gut-wrenching struggle. I accept my past. I admit my mistakes. And I forgive you.
But, I’m leaving and I’m never looking back. It’s so over that I need a new word for over. We were never meant to be, and as much it was hard for me to comprehend that I’ve finally come to terms with myself.
You were not the person for me. And I was not the one for you.
Thank you for those good moments, but most importantly, thank you for the bad moments. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have been the person I am today.
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