To Every Girl Out There Who Has Lost Herself To A Toxic Guy

Relationships are supposed to make you happy and emotionally complete. No one should ever be in a relationship in which they’re disrespected and belittled by their partner. Nobody deserves to be made to feel weak and unworthy of love and life. Well, I’m ashamed to admit, but this is exactly what happened to me.

Yeah, I was in a relationship with a toxic guy. I loved the wrong person and I’ll always regret that. I’ll regret that I let him break my spirit, drain my energy, take away my smile, and darken my soul.

He scarred my body and soul deeply. I endured his cruel and damaging behavior for so long that at one point I started worrying that my wounds and heart would never heal. I was scared that I was never going to be the person I once was. The person who cherished life, spread love around, beamed with happiness, and believed in the goodness of people.

Who knows what would’ve happened to me If I had stayed with him? Leaving him was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

I dated someone who made me feel unworthy.

I’ll always regret I let him trick me into thinking that he was kind, loving, generous, and full of understanding. I regret believing his sweet words he spoke every single day just to manipulate me. I understood too late that once he praised me and said ‘I love you’, he immediately accompanied this with subtle insults. He would tell me how dumb, naïve, and irresponsible I was. Yeah, I was responsible for all his troubles, dissatisfaction, worries, and bad things he did. And gradually, I started believing in this.

I was in a relationship with someone who I thought I knew who he was.

I believed I knew his character and soul, but I was wrong. He wasn’t the person who I fell in love with the first time I met him. No, he wasn’t that kind and charming guy. He was two-faced. And his second face was vile. He was a liar, a cheater, a manipulator, a calculating and selfish person.

I dated someone who made me doubt everyone.

This monster made me lose the faith in people’s goodness. Whenever someone tried to get close to me or open their heart to me, I stepped back. I didn’t believe a word they said to me. They looked false to me. The whole world seemed false as well.

I was in a relationship with a guy who loved only himself.

I loved him honestly and deeply. I did my best to make him happy and content. I devoted my time, energy, soul, and body to him. But why? He never appreciated it. He never cared how I felt. He never bothered to ask how my day went or whether I needed something. He never realized I felt lonelier with him than when I was alone.

I dated someone who belittled others to boost his own ego.

He did whatever he could to feel superior to others. He always tried to be the center of attention, of all conversations. Everything was about him. He was the one who was smarter and more important than the rest of us.  He didn’t hesitate to go out with other women and cheat on me. That was what made him feel manlier, stronger, important. And he knew I was aware of all this, but he didn’t care. As long as his ego was huge and he felt powerful, nothing else mattered.

I dated someone who made me the person I am today.

“What does not kill you, makes you stronger,” right? Well, that’s who I’m today. I’m strong and aware of my self-worth. I took the courage to leave him back then. That was the first step to the new me. Now, I feel able to love and smile again. I don’t let anyone diminish my worth and confidence. I’ve started believing people and I see they admire me now more than ever. Now, I know what I deserve. I deserve to be loved and treated with respect and I will never ever settle for anything less than that.