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To Every Woman That Has Ever Lost Herself To A Manipulative, Toxic Guy

Manipulative, Toxic Guy

Love is a truly strange thing. It can invigorate you and inspire you to grow and be better each day. But unfortunately, it can also shatter your hopes and destroy your sense of self.

Let me ask you something: Have you ever loved a man so purely, deeply, and intensely that you thought, “this is it, he is the one?” Have you ever loved a man so immensely that you thought you’d never ever love someone else like that? Well, I have. I was in love with someone this way. Sadly, I was in love with a manipulative, toxic guy.

After we broke up, I was nothing like the person I used to be before he walked into my life. My happiness was replaced with sadness and anxiety. The world around me seemed dark. My soul was wrapped in darkness, too. I no longer believed in true love.

I was lonely. I was disappointed. I was angry with myself for letting a man like him hurt me. I felt like I wasn’t in charge of my life. I felt like my world was crumbling down around me and I was unable to do anything.

It took me so long to heal the pain that for a long time I thought that I’d never manage to mend my broken heart. I thought I’d never be able to get back to normal. I thought I’d never be able to love again.

But you know, I wasn’t always like this. I was a happy, positive girl who believed in the goodness of others. I was grateful for everything I had in life. I loved my life.

But, my relationship with this manipulative, narcissistic guy changed me. He turned my happy and colorful world into a sad and grey place. I slowly turned into a shadow of the person I used to be before I let this toxic man into my life.

But, don’t blame me. Because for a long time, I was ashamed of myself for letting him break my heart. I was ashamed of myself for letting him transform me into a weak, insecure woman. I was ashamed of myself for letting him convince me that I didn’t deserve any better.

I should’ve put an end to the relationship the same moment I realized he was the wrong person for me. But, I didn’t. I couldn’t.

It was like I was hopelessly addicted to his manipulative and charming nature. My pure, naïve soul trusted his lies. It trusted his grandiose stories and big promises.

To gain my complete trust and make me let my guard down, he made me feel safe. At the beginning of the relationship, he was so committed to me that I felt like I found myself a guardian angel. A soulmate. A superhero. But, what I failed to see was that he was a selfish and inconsiderate narcissist in disguise.

So, please, don’t call me naïve or stupid. Yes, trusting him and allowing him to play with my heart was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life. But, I loved him. Oh, I loved him dearly.

I loved him truly and selflessly. I loved him wholeheartedly and unconditionally. I loved him more than I loved myself.

Hah, now I know that I was stupid for thinking that my love was strong enough to soften his crude heart. I was naïve for thinking that my compassion and affection were powerful enough to warm his cold heart.

I was stupid for letting him manipulate me and play with my feelings. I was stupid for letting myself lose my sense of self in the relationship.

But fortunately, I managed to find myself again. I managed to find the strength to put an end to the toxic, draining relationship and walk away.

I managed to pick myself up, shake off all that toxicity, and move forward.

I’ve realized that dating this manipulative, toxic guy wasn’t a mistake after all. It was actually a lesson. And a valuable one.

It was a lesson that has shaped me into the woman I am today. It was a lesson that has transformed me into a wise, strong, and resilient woman. A woman who knows how she deserves to be treated in a relationship. A woman who is not afraid to love fully. A woman who is aware of her worth more than ever.