Home Psychology 5 Simple Ways To Deal With A Manipulator

5 Simple Ways To Deal With A Manipulator


Manipulators wonder around in the world, having selfish and greedy intentions and manipulating others without anyone noticing it.

These people are thinking only about themselves and have no interest in things that don’t bring them benefit in the long run. They would not hesitate to destroy a variety of relationships in order to get exactly what they want.

None of us needs unnecessary conflict in our lives, especially not from someone who brings it on purpose in order to gain something with their selfishness.

1. Be confident

Manipulators feed on people who have low self-esteem. For manipulators, these people are of greatest benefit for them as they are the easiest victims.  

If you behave like a person with confidence and stand for yourself, the manipulator will see that there is no way they can benefit from you.

They might try and be persistent sometimes, but you are safe as long as you stand your ground and make it clear that you have no intention of being moved from that position. Eventually they will back off.  Always be confident, you can never know who and when someone will try to manipulate you.

2. Resilience

If you are not resilient enough in an argument with a manipulator they will pull out an information from you to see how you feel about something and then try to convince you to do things their way. This is the way things work in their mind. That is the kind of mindset a manipulator has.

By doing so they hope to make you feel bad for some things in order to selfishly gain your trust in that moment.

You must be as resilient as you can be and not give them the smallest chance to get in your head. You must not give in to their lies. Just push them back as hard as you can. 

3. Don’t be afraid to use the “NO” word

This is the most important things of all. If you find yourself in a position with a manipulator remember you can always say NO. Say it clearly to signal them to back off. You can say no to anyone for anything, for that matter. It is your right and there is nothing they can do about it.

Don’t try to prove them that you are not countable with something which is a waste of time. Simply use the NO word and that can be the end of the discussion. Trying to prove something to these people is a waste of time. They know what they want and they go for it, which is why it is important to say no to them.

If they do not want to listen and try to force you into doing something you are not willing to do, do not hesitate to contact the authorities immediately. 

4. Make a difference between the good and the bad

Manipulators will do absolutely everything in their power to convince you of a false feeling that you might question you have about certain things. They would act tough and tell you that you are crazy and emotionally unstable.

They do all this in order to brake you down and make you go their way. Do not let them dictate the way you feel or should feel about something.  You are the one that knows best what you feel and no one else can interfere. Let them know exactly how you feel and don’t go their way only to avoid conflict because you will only put yourself in a worse position later.

They have absolutely no power over you and your feelings, so just tell them what you feel and get out of their sight. That is the safest and quickest way to avoid further complications.  

5. Last but not least

If all else fails and they still want you to go their way you have the right to tell them: ”I need you to speak calmly to me” or “I need you to stop insulting me” or “I need you to speak with kindness to me”, and “I need you to take care of those things yourself.”

The phrase “I need you to” is not here by accident. It will set the picture in their heads that they are not in control. And they really aren’t. It is you and only you who is in control, so use that to avoid problems with them.

You will be the one asking things from them. If they do not comply than you decide for yourself if this person is worth spending time with. Finally, if they decide to leave, it’s better for you not to have them around.