What Is A Private But Not Secret Relationship?
Let’s get one thing straight: Keeping your relationship private is the right thing to do. Keeping it a secret is wrong!
For a lot of people, the clearest sign that they are in a relationship or in love with someone is ceaselessly talking about them. For instance, you could be sharing your own problems with someone, and they’ll search for a way to shift the topic from your problems to their girlfriend or boyfriend.
On the other hand, there are many people who don’t like bragging or talking about their relationships with others, including their friends and family.
We’d like to emphasize that it’s completely normal and fine if you want to keep your relationship private. However, you need to ensure that you’re keeping it private and not a secret since there’s a huge difference between a private and a secret relationship.
So, the main question that arises here is: What does keeping a relationship private but not a secret mean?
Keeping your relationship private means that although you don’t like putting it out there and sharing details about it with others all the time, you still never lie about your relationship status, meaning when someone asks you if you’re in a relationship, you say yes. However, that conversation ends here because that’s the only thing you let them know.
Keeping your relationship private also means that you don’t inform your friends about what you and your partner are doing when spending time together or about every time you have sex with them. It means you don’t go to your parents to complain about every fight you and your partner might have and share the tiniest details about it with them. It means that you don’t show every present your bae got you on social media.
On the other hand, if no one knows that you’re dating someone and if you never confirm that you’re in a relationship when others ask you if you are, then this means you’re keeping your relationship secret.
Keeping your relationship secret may mean that you’re thinking about cheating on your partner or trying to hook up with someone by making them think you’re rolling solo when you’re actually not.
Keeping your relationship secret can also make others think that the reason you’re doing this is that you are keeping secrets from your partner or that you’re ashamed of them, no matter if they’re right or wrong about this.
Should A Relationship Be Kept Private?
Absolutely yes. There’s something unique and precious about keeping your relationship private. Not bragging about your relationship or showing it off on social media doesn’t mean that you’re afraid of others finding out you’re in a relationship or who your partner is. It simply means that you want to keep your relationship to yourself. It means you don’t want to share details about it with your family, friends, and acquaintances and give others the opportunity to form opinions and comment on your relationship.
So, here are 5 reasons why keeping your relationship private is a good and wise thing to do:
1. Not Everyone Will Be Glad To Know You’re Happy
You need to keep one thing in mind: Not every person you know likes you and not everyone will be glad to know you’re in a happy relationship. This might sound harsh, but it’s the truth. There will always be someone who doesn’t like you or envies you and is jealous of you. There will always be someone who wants to cause problems in your life.
So, the less others know how you’re doing in life or what your relationship status is, the less they’ll have a chance to interfere with your life.
2. It’ll Protect You From Dealing With Unnecessary Opinions
No one wants to deal with or have to tolerate the opinions of people that have nothing to do with your life. Unfortunately, this is something that has happened to us many times. Whether it’s our education status, friendships, career choices, political views, or you name it, we’ve been put in many situations where we’ve had to listen to others share their prejudiced opinions. Well, people love talking about others’ romantic relationships as well.
So, by keeping your relationship private, you’ll prevent others from forming all kinds of opinions about it and interfering with your life.
3. It Prevents Your Ex From Interfering With Your Love Life
You probably broke up with your ex since you stopped loving them or they treated you badly and you could no longer put up with it. And the breakup was probably difficult too and you had to make efforts to come to terms with it and move on with your life.
So, if I’m right about all this, why would you want your ex to know what’s going on in your love life? Just think about it – perhaps they are still hoping they can get back together with you. Or perhaps they’re making plans how to make things hard for you and ruin your relationship.
So, the less your ex knows what your love life is like, the better. Just remember-keep your relationship is private, but don’t keep your significant other a secret.
4. It Strengthens Your Relationship
Keeping your relationship private allows you and your partner to grow closer and connect more deeply. It allows you to enjoy every moment you spend together while preventing others from commenting on your relationship and peeking into your love lives.
When you don’t show off your relationship on social media and brag about it in front of others, you allow it to flourish and become deeper, more meaningful, and more fulfilling.
5. It Makes It Easier For You To Move On Once You Break Up With Your Partner
First of all, let’s hope that you and your partner are meant to stay together forever. But imagine what would happen if you break up? If you allowed others to like and comment on your and your bae’s selfies on social media while the two of you were together, then you have no right to expect them that they won’t comment on and try to peek into your love life after the two of you break up.
Going through a breakup is a difficult and painful thing on its own. You don’t need to deal with other people’s unnecessary questions, comments, and opinions about your breakup. You don’t need to bring more drama into your life. So, this is why keeping your relationship private will help you move on more easily with your life when you and your partner break up.
Here are the 8 main differences between keeping your relationship private and keeping it a secret:
1. When You’re Asked If You’re In A Relationship, You Answer You’re Single
Of course, when someone asks you whether you’re dating anyone, they don’t expect you to tell them everything about your relationship or show them photos of your partner. However, saying that you’re still rolling solo when you are not is wrong and disrespectful. Whether you’re hiding your relationship status since you’re worried about what your friends will think of your partner or you’ve recently met someone you’ve started having feelings for, keeping your relationship secret is bad and it’s something your partner wouldn’t approve of for sure.
2. You Avoid Mentioning Your Partner On Purpose
Every time someone asks you something about your partner, you avoid mentioning them by shifting the topic to something else. Even when you’re talking about a situation or event your partner was involved in, you tend to start every sentence with “I” rather than “we.”
While it’s okay to not want to share every detail about your love life with others, going out of your way to avoid mentioning your partner and hide the fact that you’re in a relationship with someone is utterly wrong and you’re aware of it. That means you’re keeping your relationship secret.
3. You Haven’t Introduced Your Partner To Your Loved Ones Yet
If you’ve been in a relationship for a year or so, and neither your friends nor your family, (let alone your colleagues and other acquaintances), has met your partner, then there’s something weird going on between the two of you. Perhaps you’ve been avoiding introducing your partner to your loved ones since you’re not sure whether they’re the one or you’re worried about what they might think of them. Anyways, it’s time to ask yourself why your loved ones still don’t know who your partner is.
4. You Don’t Share Photos Of Your Partner On Social Media
Of course, you don’t need to post selfies of you and your significant other on Facebook or Instagram every day or every week. But if you’re active on social media and post statuses and photos of yourself, including your friends, then it’s certainly not a coincidence that there’s no trace of your bae on your Facebook or Instagram profile. Again, this is a clear sign that you’re trying to keep your relationship secret.
5. You Don’t Show Your Partner Affection In Public
Do you pretend you’re looking somewhere else when your partner tries to kiss you on the cheek or lips on the subway? Or do you let go of their hand when they gently squeeze yours at a restaurant?
Well, if you answered these questions with a yes, know this is not normal. Of course, it’s not that you and your partner need to stick your tongues down each other’s throats or do any “more inappropriate things” when in public. However, not showing any sign of affection doesn’t indicate that you’re keeping your relationship private. It means you’re keeping it secret.
6. You Don’t Call Your Partner “Babe” Or “Honey” In Front Of Others
If you’ve already introduced your partner to your family, friends, and co-workers, did you introduce them as your “friend?” Or do you call them by their first name or “buddy” instead of calling them “honey,” “sweetheart,” or “babe” when you’re around other people?
If you answered the questions with a yes, then it’s more than obvious you’re keeping your relationship a secret. If you and your partner don’t feel comfortable using labels yet, at least introduce them and refer to them by their first name. Never call them “buddy.” It’s insensitive.
7. You’re The Only One Secretive About Your Relationship
If both you and your partner have agreed that you still don’t want others to know you’re dating, that’s fine. It means you’re on the same page when it comes to revealing your relationship status. But if your partner proudly lets everyone know you’re together while you’re doing everything in your power to hide that fact, then they most likely feel bad about how you’re acting.
8. You Don’t Let Your Partner Post Photos Of You On Social Media
If you’re not active on Facebook or Instagram, that’s fine and understandable. However, if you don’t let your partner post photos of you two on social media or you untag yourself when they do, well, it gets weird.
If you don’t like others to see photos of you on social media, tell that to your partner because otherwise it only appears that you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re in a relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why Does My Boyfriend Want To Keep Our Relationship Private?
There could be several reasons for that and, in what follows, we’ve presented some of them:
- He doesn’t like or feel comfortable sharing his private life with others.
- He doesn’t want others to know what’s going on in his love life.
- He doesn’t want others to comment on your relationship.
- He thinks that if you put your relationship out there, this will have a negative effect on your emotional intimacy and bond.
- He might not be sure how he feels about you.
- He might not know where your relationship is going.
Why Does My Boyfriend Keep Me A Secret On Social Media?
If your boyfriend is keeping you a secret on social media, there may be a cause for worry. He might be doing this due to the following reasons:
- He’s committed to someone else, so he’s trying to keep you as a secret backdoor girlfriend.
- His friends don’t like you.
- He still has feelings for his ex.
- He’s afraid of commitment.
- He thinks his parents or friends won’t approve of your relationship.
- He’s recently broken up with some girl and doesn’t want others, including her, to know he’s dating again.
- He doesn’t want others to influence your relationship.
Speaks from heart, always too passionate and driven by emotions. Spins the words with kindness & sharpness, intriguing your ever-inscrutable minds.