Oh, love. The most profound emotion that we experience as human beings. Love is an undoubtedly big part of our lives. Love is a feeling that surrounds us, flows through us, make us question our purpose on Earth, fulfill us and drives us crazy. And when you put it into words, it sounds really simple.
Yet, the reality of it all is much more complex than it seems. Because no matter how hard we try to understand the real meaning of love, it is always hard to define it.
Love is always free and wild. It cannot be tamed. So, how exactly do you define something so uncontrollable?
The thing is, we all experience in our own way. We all experience different states of love. We feel it when we’re sad, we feel it when we’re happy, we feel it when we’re excited, and sometimes even when we’re angry. So, naturally, we cannot easily describe what love is. Because it comes in different shapes and sizes.
The ancient Greeks had 7 words for love. Each and every one of them described a different state of love.
Storage: natural affection
Eros: sexual and erotica
Agape: unconditional, divine love
Pragma: committed, married love
However, even though there are many different types of love, at the end of the day, we’re all seeking for that romantic love. Because it is known for a fact that the majority of people find happiness and fulfillment through a deeply-committed and a loving relationship.
You could say that love is the reason for our existence.
So, what exactly is love? Let’s figure this out.
First and foremost, love is chemistry. When you look at it from a scientific perspective, love is a permanent and intense neurological state. For example, when you’re feeling eager to engage sexually with someone, that is lust. This state is due to the increased release of the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen. But, as you get deeper and deeper into the relationship and reach the stages of attraction and attachment, your brain releases a new set of neurochemicals known as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphin.
But, if we put the scientific point of view aside, love is also commitment. It cannot be defined as one thing. Because it is so much more than just that. Your love for your parents is one kind of love and your love for your partner is a completely different kind of love. It can be painful, blind, unconditional, deep, inconsistent, and so on, but it is always a commitment that we tend to nurture.
However, when you look at love from a different perspective, love can also be infatuation. In my opinion, infatuation is just the first phase of attraction. It is the starting point from where you choose whether you’ll continue your journey with the person beside you or just leave.
Last but not least, love is about being compatible with someone. It is about sharing the same values, interests, visions, ideas, opinions, needs in life. But, most importantly, love is about being willing to compromise whenever your relationship hits a rough patch. It is about accepting the differences in your partner and loving them for who they really are, instead of who you really want them to be.
It is about choosing to fight alongside them instead of fighting against them. It is about support. Unconditional understanding. Patience. Tolerance. And acceptance.
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