What It’s Like To Be Strong And Tired To The Bone At The Same Time

“You have to be strong.” “ No matter how many times others betray your trust and hurt your feelings, you’ve got to stay strong.” “Regardless of how many times life knocks you down, you have to find the strength to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on.”

Oh, I’ve heard these pieces of advice so many times. And no matter how cliched they sound, I’ve always followed them.

The truth is that I can proudly say that I am strong. And I’ve proved this time and time again.

I am the one my loved ones rely on when they need help and support. I am the one my family and friends go to when they need someone to patiently listen to their problems or be their crying shoulder and their wall to lean on.

I am the one people surrounding me go to when they need someone to share their secrets with. When they need someone to talk to about their insecurities and fears. When they need someone to lift them up and make them feel strong and worthy.

Indeed, I know what being strong is.

Being strong is crying silently late at night because someone you loved with every fiber of your being broke your heart.

Being strong is never stop believing in love although heartbreak is the only thing you’ve known.

Being strong is being kind to and forgiving those who betrayed you and broke your heart and who never apologized to you.

Being strong is not flying off the handle and giving someone a taste of their own medicine when they insult you and belittle you because you know that their actions speak about them, not you.

Being strong is respecting people to whom ‘respect’ is only an abstract term.

Being strong is doing your best to help other people even when it is you that needs to be helped and supported.

Being strong is leaving your comfort zone and venturing into the unknown even when you’re scared because you don’t know what’s on the other side.

Being strong is overcoming your own insecurities, vices, fears, and demons.

Being strong is believing in yourself even when everyone around you tells you that you’re weak, stupid, weird, and unimportant.

Being strong is setting and pursuing high goals when everyone else tells you that you don’t have what it takes to accomplish them. When everyone else tries to make you feel like a failure.

Being strong is believing that there’s light at the end of the tunnel when your whole world is wrapped in darkness.

So, yes, I am strong, but I am also tired to the bone.

I am tired of always being there for others.

I am tired of being betrayed and disappointed by people to whom I’ve always been good.

I am tired of people not accepting me for who I am. I’m tired of being told that I need to change. That I need to change the way I talk, smile, move, and act. That I need to become someone else.

I am tired of giving my respect and love to people who don’t even deserve a minute of my attention.

I am tired of making plans for every little thing because I want to control and keep everything organized in my life.

I am tired of second-guessing every decision that I make because I fear that it might negatively influence someone or hurt their feelings.

I am tired of always being the one who looks for solutions to problems that are not even mine.

I am tired of thinking about my past mistakes, failed relationships, losses, and pains. I am tired of carrying the burden of my past on my shoulders.

I am tired of being tough for everyone around me.

I am tired of listening to excuses and explanations that I know are not real and honest.

I am tired of people walking away from me for no reason.

Yes, I am strong, but I am also tired to the bone.

I am tired because I’ve experienced loneliness, sadness, and pain that no one ever has. Because I’ve been abandoned in ways no one ever has. Because my hope has been broken so many times. Because I’ve had to heal my wounds and mend my broken heart time and time again.

Yet, although I could easily let myself dwell in my disappointment and problems and torment myself with the idea that no one is ever going to be there for me the way I’m always there for others – I won’t.

I won’t give up. You will never see me defeated.

Why?

Because I am strong, resilient, and wise. Because strength is in my blood.

Should you have any questions regarding this topic or one of your own interest, feel free to email me at [email protected]