Primitively speaking wanting something we can’t have has been embroiled in our genetic make up for many generations. The stark reality of poaching a mate has evolved from animals into our daily lives, mate poaching is attractive to women because women see a married man as already possessing all the qualities they require in their life.
If a man is married and taken off the market then it’s perceived that another woman has already seen his life ensuring qualities and married him.
This perception of what men can offer can certainly change due to their relationship with others. If a single lady meets a single guy, then immediately you may ask yourself why he is single, why hasn’t another single lady taken him off the market? However, if a single lady is attracted to a man and finds out they are in a relationship or married, then is this subliminal confirmation that he has all the necessary qualities she is looking for, is he more experienced, is he more committed, is he more desirable now because his wife or partner has already pre screened him?!! If someone wants him and has him, then he must be worth wanting and having by another!
It could also be said that women want more than a one night stand, more than just sex with a stranger never to be seen again.
But in the same breath don’t necessarily want the fully fledged and committed relationship that is expected of two people in a relationship. A married man offers sex, a partner, a lunch date, maybe even a weekend away. But on majority he certainly does not offer a long committed drawn out relationship that is hers and hers alone to fulfil and make work.
On the other hand a married man could well be offering a committed relationship, but only when he is ready in the future and has left his wife first, but until then the guilty sex, the sneaking around and wanting what she can’t have is more than enough satisfaction.
The irony is that if he is perceived to have all the life ensuring qualities a woman seeks in a man, pre-screened by his current wife or partner, then why is he cheating with someone else, is his honesty and integrity already impaired, yet when dating a married man this is all ignored.
If he’s a cheat, a sneak and two timing the women in his life, then surely he can’t be top of your ‘must have’ list, or… is he? You would think the lack of respect, availability, time and attention is enough to put any women off, yet he is still perceived as desirable by many. However, some women’s logic also determines that if a man has a wife at home and is cheating on her, then he is not cheating with me. And in some women’s eyes that does sound good, especially those with possible trust.
This high number of single women certainly does desire a married man because it gives them space, they have a relationship with a pre-screened man who has the ability to give a woman breathing space. A mistress is not at all responsible for him, not accountable to him and do not need to give him all of their time and energy.
And let’s face it the sneaking around is probably a highlight of the relationship as the excitement of meeting up, hot rendezvous, meeting for lunch, staying for nights at a time provides arguably more thrills on a regular basis than a personal honest relationship. Secret sex can be more sort after, this lusting part of married men dating provides all the enjoyment a woman could need. New daring places to have sex such as in the marital home or bed fills this experience with passion and desire in a way not always possible in a regular relationship.
Grabbing sexual encounters when you least expect them can be a huge turn on, these rule breaking, unprotected experiences are very desirable to single women as they are naughty, new, adventurous and no strings attached.
Alternatively there is also the competitive element to consider. Some women crave competition; they thrive on challenges and constantly seek goals to achieve to boost self-esteem. Dating a married man is the ultimate prize, the reassurance that comes with ‘winning’ a man that has already been pre-selected by another female.
The element of feeling superior often has little to do with how ‘hot’ or attractive the married man is, but more to do with being in a position of power and competing to ‘beat’ another woman.
However, do not forget that as much as the sparks are flying when they meet up at the secret rendezvous if he was to actually leave the marriage or relationship then be aware that dating a married man may well lose its appeal.
Once he is available and ready to start this new lease of life with a mistress, all the pretence and upkeep of this sordid affair will dissipate as quickly as the competition and challenge does.
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from psychology, to all sorts of disciplines such as science and news.