There’s something that has been going through my mind for days, so I believe it is finally time for me to spit it out… I can’t hold it in any longer and I won’t.
So, let’s get straight to the point, shall we?
What’s up with this “She makes me want to become a better person”?
Hey men… Women don’t want to be rehabilitation centers for traumatized, badly raised, immature and generally troubled men.
We don’t want to raise you; we want to grow and flourish together.
I mean, I get. It’s supposed to be a compliment. It is supposed to let me know that you are so madly in love with me that you truly cherish my presence in your life. It supposed to flatter me and make me proud of how strong I am. It’s supposed to make me feel as though I am a superhero. I get it, I do.
But… you know what? It’s not flattering at all. Pardon my French, but it’s bullsh*t.
And what’s even more disturbing, it’s everywhere around us. Everywhere you look, regardless of which segment of life you are analyzing, women are constantly expected to be these strong, almighty, superhero humans who are always there to lend a helping hand or fix the guy who for some reason struggles to do that on his own.
Let’s take the Childish Gambino’s music video for example. Halfway through the video, a sad and troubled Kanye appears. For some reason, Michelle Obama hugs him, lifts his spirits and suddenly he is fine again.
What’s up with that? Are you seriously telling me that Kanye secretly needs to be saved by a strong, brave woman like Michelle?
Here’s what. We already have enough baggage on our shoulders. We do everything in our power to be good moms, loving friends, loyal partners. We fight with the oppression almost 24 hours a week, we try hard to excel in our career, we struggle to find time for self-care, we run the household and etc. and etc. And now all of a sudden, we are expected to be responsible for inspiring men to become better human beings?
Don’t you think we need inspiring and lifting up as well?
So, then who will inspire us?
I don’t know if you know but we are flawed as well. We are doing our best to be better humans as well. And it is pretty damn hard if you ask me, but you know how we do it? By reflecting on ourselves. By not depending on anyone. By diving deep within. That’s where we search for our strength and willingness to be more and do more. Because that is something every human being is supposed to do in their life if they want to find true happiness.
We are busy, overwhelmed, exhausted, troubled and not so strong as some of you may sometimes think. So, taking responsibility for another grown human being is not on our priority list. And it will never be!
We don’t want to raise our partner. We want someone who would try hard to become a better person by learning from his own mistakes and going through things without our influence or our inspiration. If a woman is a kind, decent and admirable person that doesn’t mean that she should be a man’s main guidance in life. Being there for another person is one thing and being expected to always be there for someone because you are a woman is completely another.
Why is it that when a man is struggling with something, the woman who stays with him is considered loyal and loving, but when a woman is going through some stuff and the man leaves her, he then successfully dodged a bullet?
How come women supporting troubled men is a common thing, and men supporting troubled women is a rarity?
What about us? We fall apart just as you do. Sometimes it’s even more painful. And yet, we still manage to somehow suck it all up and find the strength within us to move on.
Stop holding us accountable for your personal growth. I know that this might come off as harsh and that some of you mean this in a good way, but please…I need you to stop it. This is really getting out of hand.
Instead of expecting a woman to fix you, try to fix yourself. Be better. Do better. Grow. Fall. Rise up. Learn from your mistakes. At your own pace. In your own time.
We are not responsible for your actions. Nor we’ll ever be.
A professional writer with many years of experience in the fields of psychology, human relationships, science, and spirituality. If you have a general question or comment please fill out the form and we will get back to you as soon as possible https://curiousmindmagazine.com/contact-us/