Being Friends with Your Ex: Reasons Why This Is Impossible and How to Stay in Warm Relations
Most divorced couples hope that after the divorce they can remain friends. Yes, staying in a warm relationship is good, but is it worth becoming friends?
Many do not even suspect why this does not work and how it can negatively affect the lives of both spouses. It makes sense to stay in a warm relationship and respect each other. But friendship is far from what is needed. Let’s talk more about this right here.
7 Reasons Why Staying Friends with The Former Is Not the Best Idea
- You can create illusions due to friendships. If you have never been on friendly terms with your spouse or during your married life the relationship has worsened, then a change of relationship after a divorce can create an unnecessary illusion. Friendship can cause one of the spouses to make peace, but most likely it will be the desire of only one side and, as the practice often shows, is deceiving.
- Friendly relations with your spouse will not give you the opportunity to change your life. Divorce is the beginning of a new life and an opportunity for a person to become completely different, to do new things, and so on. Relations with the former second half will slow down all this and plunge into the past. But after a divorce, you must stay in the present, not the past.
- If you are still experiencing feelings for your ex, then further friendships can lead to another breakdown. The former may meet a new soul mate, but for you, it will be another bouleversement.
- Your ex may feel love feelings for you, and this will also prevent you both from living a new life. Friendship, in this case, is better to be minimized, as your ex will hope that not everything is lost and there is a chance to be together again.
- An attempt to friendships may aggravate the recovery process after a divorce. Usually, people need time to be alone with themselves. It will take time in order to be sad and mourn your married life, to let go of the pain. But pretending to be “friends” will dull the whole process and you will not be able to recover from a breakdown and will live in the hope that there is a chance to be together.
- This may look extremely strange for your children. Although it may not even be strange, it still can give extra hope that parents can start their love relationship again. Not all children can benefit from the friendships of their parents after a divorce. One way or another, you will need to take care of the timely help of psychologists.
- You cannot make new relationships. Most likely you will direct all energy to learn to be friends with your ex. And this means that you can’t let go of divorce and start a new relationship. Do you understand that sooner or later you will need to open up to a new relationship? Friendship with an ex will put off this chance for a long timNow you understand that being friends is not the best option. But maintaining a warm relationship would not hurt. Let’s look at three key tips to help you stay in good relationships.
- Get divorced peacefully, if possible. For example, you can fill out legal forms to divorce online to avoid the burden of documents and the resolution of many issues. Specialized companies that help to get divorce papers online will tell you how to prepare the divorce do it yourself kit, so you can fill out divorce paper form quickly, simply and inexpensively.
- Agree with him or her that you will meet only when necessary and on issues related to children. Also, make sure your communication is respectful.
- Release the grudge; open for new opportunities. The longer you live in the past, the more you become immersed in a depressed state and, at a subconscious level, exacerbate resentment against your spouse. Release negative emotions and then you can communicate warmly with your spouse.
It’s Time to Summarize
Now you know about the best ways to stay with your ex-spouse. It is rare to find spouses who look like bosom friends after a divorce. But it is certainly good when you and your spouse can maintain a respectful relationship. Now you know how to do this, so say goodbye to negative emotions and open yourself to a new life.
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from psychology, to all sorts of disciplines such as science and news.