Home Psychology 7 Contradicting Traits Of The INFJ Personality Type That Make It Hard...

7 Contradicting Traits Of The INFJ Personality Type That Make It Hard To Understand


The INFJ personality type comes with many conflicting traits that make the person seem very complicated at times.

INFJ is a personality type defined by the Myers-Briggs classification of personalities. One can say that this personality type is indeed rare, as it brings some strong qualities which may seem opposite from one another.

INFJ stands for Introversion + Intuition + Feeling + Judging and Myers and Briggs describe these people as people who “seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions.”

These people are insightful about others, and they want to understand what motivates them. They are conscientious and committed to their firm values, and they develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. INFJ people are organized and decisive in implementing their vision. (Source: The Myers-Briggs Foundation)

However, this set of traits comes with a complex personality which many fail to understand. Even IFNJs cannot define themselves completely and clearly, as there are so many contradicting things about their nature.

Here are the seven most puzzling aspects of their personality. If you are an INFJ, we are sure you would agree.

Loners who desperately want to be with people

INFJs are introverted, being primarily focused on what is happening inside of them. This makes them the perfect match for a loner. However, being also feeling, they do focus on the connections and the feelings they get from other people.

The feeling trait is what makes them want to bond with people and truly experience genuine relationships. This creates an individual who does want to spend their alone time but is also in need of warmth and sensitivity they want to share with others.

Being with an INFJ, you will notice how they wish to lead an introverted life, which, although very private, they crave to share with someone who will express their emotions wholly and truly understand their feelings.

Sometimes they will disappear for a whole day, blocking every means of communication with the outer world, but the next day they are already feeling in desperate need of someone they could talk to and connect with.

Easy-going perfectionists

Being intuitive and judging at the same time may be something which will often conflict with one another. While they follow their intuition (and are thus spontaneous), they also like to see the order in things and create order where there is none.

Their perfectionist side and their system of strong values does not allow for much spontaneity, but their intuition forces them to act in situations where reasoning does not play a role.

This means that no matter how organized they want to be, their spontaneity and intuition will rebel against the lists and orders they have set for or imposed upon themselves. In the end, they compromise by changing the rules with every new spontaneous discovery.

Rational artists

INFJs are very creative, and very rational at the same time. This can often pose a conflicting situation, where most of their artistic ideas hit the rational spikes and tear them apart before they have time to develop.

This is why INFJs are commonly known for their talents which are bound by their own judgment before they get a chance to meet someone else’s. This is because their artistic side usually tries to represent their inner world, and being introverts, any criticism from outside would feel like an attack on their most personal feelings and thoughts.

So, they use their rationality to measure out and judge everything they have flourishing in their heart before anyone else can. Perhaps this is why you will find an INFJ creating so rarely, and when they do, it is truly a thing to adore.

Messy and tidy

Their judging character requires them to set things in order and create a tidy space to live in. However, INFJs are also very creative and want to experiment with the space around them.

The creative fire that burns in them does not allow them to settle for the same surroundings for a very long time. So, once they have tidied everything nicely, they might start reordering and rearranging everything until they get into a complete mess.

Their intuitive way of functioning and their feeling nature do not allow them to keep the order they also prefer very much. So, they change the order in which things are around them often, and they enjoy putting everything in order again.

Standing up for others, but not for themselves

It is very hard for an INFJ to accept when someone is in pain. They feel other people’s emotions, and they do not want to see them in any other way than being happy and positive.

This makes them stand up for them in times when they cannot stand up for themselves. They are protectors, and they are truly there for their closest ones. However, when it comes to standing up for themselves, they fail badly.

Other people’s feelings play a role in this as well, as INFJs think that by standing up for themselves, they might hurt someone’s feelings. And no matter how wrong the other person may be, the INFJ would rather retreat inside than spit out the truth they know.

They are judging, but they do not pass out their judgment so eagerly, as they do not wish to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Otherworldly and philosophical, yet craving earthly experiences

INFJs find discussing profound and meaningful topics as essential to their being. One might say that they come with a philosophical wisdom and a spiritualistic consciousness. 

However, they love the finer things in life, and, although they hold the otherworldly and philosophical topics dear, they like to experience the world through the five senses as well.

They like to be surrounded by beautiful things, gourmet meals, sophisticated music and art, and clothes that go nicely with all that. Their refined taste clashes with their need for simplicity in life.

Feeling of not belonging here, yet wanting to make this place better

‘Here’ is this world, and INFJs feel like they do not belong here like they have fallen from space and are wandering in a strange place that does not agree with their nature.

However, they like to make this place better, as they can easily see the flaws in the world we live in. They may not feel like at home, but they love the world, and they would do everything they can to leave it better than they found it.


Whatever the contradictions in their natures, INFJs are truly a special kind of people. If you are an INFJ, you should be aware of this. And if you know an INFJ, respect them and keep them close to you – they are truly a rare gem.