No matter how long you’ve been married for or how happy you were in the beginning, marriages can end for a whole multitude of reasons. And if you’re entering into the first discussions with your partner about getting a divorce, it’s completely natural to feel sad, angry, conflicted, relieved, and a whole host of different emotions. Perhaps there’s something better waiting for you on the other side, but right now, it’s important to focus on the details and make sure that everything runs smoothly for yourself and your family. Maintaining your positivity is crucial both during and after a divorce to keep your mental health strong and make the process easier to deal with.
Chances are, once you’ve decided that you’re going to divorce your partner or have had the discussion with them and came to a joint agreement, the next person you will be contacting is a divorce lawyer. A good divorce solicitor is essential to ensure that you can work through all the finer points of the divorce, and they might be able to point out things that you could have missed. If you have children together or share a lot of joint assets like a house, business or joint savings, your divorce solicitor will be able to provide legal advice and potentially mediation if needed when it comes to working out how you’re going to divide it all after the split. You can search for a divorce solicitor at Qredible if you don’t have legal representation as of yet.
If you’ve got children, chances are that they are going to be a priority during the divorce. Many parents get very caught up in their divorce and it can really affect the kids, so everything that you do from now on should revolve around making sure that things stay as normal as possible for any children involved, especially when it comes to figuring out co-parenting with your ex. No matter what your ex did, or how much you hate them right now, always keep at the forefront of your mind that your kids still love them as a parent.
Assets and Money
Joint assets and money tend to make up a huge amount of disagreements during divorce proceedings with ex-couples fighting over who gets what and what goes where. But if it’s a material object, the best option is probably to go with saving yourself the hassle and realising that it’s not worth fighting over. Pick your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff. No matter how much you love your house, you might not be able to keep it. Do you let one partner live in it and sell it when the kids grow up? Who pays the mortgage until then? Do you sell it now? If you have children, any discussions regarding your home should revolve around what is best for them. Do you have any joint debts? Your solicitor will be able to provide mediation services if necessary, to help you come to an agreement that works for everybody regarding the things that you own or owe together.
Your Mental Health
Along with the logistical aspects of divorce, you cannot ignore the fact that it can have a tremendous effect on your mental health, too. Separating from the person that you once thought you were going to be married to forever and have created a life with can be difficult for anybody, even if you had begun to be unable to stand to be around them in the end. That’s why putting yourself and your emotional and mental health is absolutely imperative during a divorce. You will not be able to make the right decisions for yourself and your family or be there for your kids during this time if you have them if you are not first looking after yourself.
No matter how difficult it might seem, it’s important to make an effort to continue as normal, keep on fuelling yourself with healthy foods, exercising, and getting enough sleep at night; sometimes it might mean forcing yourself to do it, but you’ll feel better for it afterwards. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who can pull you out of any dark holes that you might find yourself in and consider getting counselling if needed. After all, divorce is a loss of your marriage, and it’s completely natural to find yourself going through the stages of grief.
Keeping Your Divorce Positive
While you can’t predict or control how your ex is going to respond or act, you can make the effort to keep things positive on your side of things as you go through the divorce process. Even if you never want to be friends with your ex again, if you have children together, remaining amicable with them is the best course of action in order to help your kids remain mentally healthy, keep their positive opinions of you both and set a great example to them on how to cope with difficult times in life that will provide them with a strong framework for later on in their lives. You might find that family mediation sessions are an ideal choice if you are struggling to agree with something that your ex wants, or they are refusing to participate in a discussion with you. Mediation occurs in a controlled environment with the support of professionals, and when successful, may even be able to keep your divorce proceedings out of court.
When it comes to divorce, nobody is a winner, but with the right attitude and approach to this inevitably difficult time in your life, you can minimise the effects that it has on you and your family and come out the other side feeling stronger and ready to rediscover yourself and begin an exciting new chapter of your life. Every divorce has different circumstances, but by staying as positive as you can and putting yourself and your family first, you can avoid unnecessary trouble and maintain your inner peace.
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from psychology, to all sorts of disciplines such as science and news.