Soulmates are not the people that complete you. I think our understanding of the word has gotten astray.
A soulmate is someone who pushes you forward. It’s not someone who completes you, much rather it’s someone who inspires you to complete yourself, to fight for your future and happiness, to establish yourself in this world. They help you out every step of the way; they motivate you; they lift your spirits up when you are down.
They love all your crooked personality flaws and mood swings; they love all your imperfections, all your insecurities, they love you despite everything. Not because of something, but despite everything.
They help you refine all your jagged edges – those you want to change and improve about yourself. Under your initiative.
A soulmate is not afraid to see you change, evolve, prosper. A soulmate makes you want to be a better person, more accomplished than you were the day before.
Their presence heals you, you do not feel bothered or angry, or hurt. Next to them, you are feeling comfortable, and it feels good. You are already whole; you are already a well-rounded person, so your partner is just someone you get to share all that with.
We came in this world alone; we are going to leave alone too, so a person should not define us. One person should not be our whole world – we should have our own voice, our own plan, our own point of view. Our partners should only complement all that, and that’s the beauty, I think.
You have what you have; you are happy on your own, satisfied with yourself, comfortable in your own skin, and sharing all that beauty, happiness, joy, and positivity with someone you love and care for will only make you even happier. Because hey, sharing is caring, right?
A soulmate should help you reinvent yourself, flourish. A soulmate should love you for you, care for you, look after you when you sick, they should care about your emotional wellbeing – it doesn’t mean that you should click right away. It only means that your relationship can grow, reach a point where you understand each other with a look only even though you didn’t start that way. But you invested time and effort, you are patient with each other, you communicate, you listen to each other. You are compassionate.
Sometimes, those relationships build with a lot of time and effort, withstand even the scariest of blizzards, and surpass the blazing intensity of love at first sight, or passion. They are eternal because they are built slowly: each brick, each pebble even, is laid carefully, with care and respect. With consideration.
Nora Connel is a devoted writer with a BA in English Language and Literature. Her interests span around psychology, human relationships, and the inner self. She believes that writing has healing powers.
