Anger in a Relationship: What Causes It and How to Deal With It?

“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” – Aristotle

Anger is a typical issue in relationships, but couples may not realize how it impacts one another or leads to other issues in their relationship. The way a person behaves reveals a lot about how they deal with their emotions. The frequency and intensity of outbursts determine how anger affects a relationship. 

Anger that is out of control obstructs daily life and the development of relationships. Understanding how anger affects partner relationships can help you better express and regulate your emotions. 

What are the causes of Anger in a Relationship?

An individual may have rage issues and be unaware that they are causing problems in their relationship. When there is a lack of communication or understanding between both couples, rage can arise. When both couples play a role in the source of the rage, it is common for someone to be blamed for it. 

In this blog post, you can learn what are the causes of anger in a relationship and how you can overcome them?

10 Ways to Deal with Angry Feelings in a Relationship

Partners frequently deal with mishaps that result in emotional discomfort. When a spouse feels assaulted or ignored, they may become irritated. When a person hasn’t learned how to communicate their feelings in a way that doesn’t hurt or offend others, anxiety might be a contributing issue. 

Here are some symptoms to consider that you may not be aware of in order to obtain a better understanding of how rage issues affect relationships.

1 – The Need To Be Right Always

Sometimes a partner may always think he/she is right. It comes across as arrogant when someone insists on being correct all of the time.

“You’re pushing your worldview upon me if you expect me to empty the dishwasher, fold the laundry, or use the toothpaste in a specific manner,” Dr. Bea explains. “There are various paths that can help you climb up the mountain.”

Make a case for your right to do things your way. Dr. Albers advises, “Speak up soon; don’t allow your feelings to fester.” “The more you wait, the more resentment will build up and explode in an argument over trivial matters.”

2 – Being Late Always

You may believe that someone doesn’t care about you because they are never on time. This is what often happens in a relationship, and it is quite a turn-off.

“It’s tempting to be late for them,” Dr. Albers explains, “but it only adds fuel to the fire.” “Gently express how their timeliness affects you and what you require.”

Then create firm boundaries. Tell the other person how long you’ll be waiting and have a contingency plan in case they’re late.

A shift in mindset can also help. “Try to see the other person’s tardiness as a reflection of them rather than you,” Dr. Bea advises. “Being late may have more to do with their personal habits or anxiety than with respecting your schedule.”

It could be an attempt to relieve tension by constantly rushing into the house “for one more item” or becoming sidetracked by insignificant things right before you have to leave.

“You have the option of not being emotionally harmed or roughed up by any of that,” Dr. Bea explains.

3 – Think Before Speaking

One of the worst problems is when your partner doesn’t think before he/she speaks. They voice out everything that comes into their heart, which indeed is a good thing, but sometimes it can create deep wounds. 

Taking a deep breath before reacting is one of the most effective strategies because it gives an individual the time to calm down and read the situation properly before making a decision. 

In order words, stop yelling at your buddy, family member, or the guy who just pulled in front of you in traffic if your heart is racing. Take a deep breath and relax, count up to ten which means make every effort to avoid exploding and saying or doing anything you’ll come to regret.

4 – Be Clear About What Upset You

Express your dissatisfaction in a confident but non-confrontational manner. Perhaps your partner did not help you in cleaning up the kitchen after you cooked dinner. 

Alternatively, your son may have borrowed your car and returned it with a nearly empty petrol tank – for the second time. 

Using an “I” statement, express your issues simply and frankly. “I’m irritated because you left me without enough gas to drive to work,” for example, or “I detest it when I work to prepare a meal and you don’t help clean up afterward,” for example.

5 – Lighten Things With Humor

Relaxation might be aided by lightening up. Use humor to help you deal with whatever it is that is making you upset, as well as any unreasonable expectations you may have about how things should go. Sarcasm, on the other hand, should be avoided because it might hurt feelings and make things worse. 

If the conversation is getting too intense, crack a little joke and start laughing so it attracts your partner and they can burst into laughter too. Find anything around you that can be joked about (don’t joke about a person, though) and end the serious situation you are in. 

6 – Take A Break

Children’s timeouts aren’t the only ones who can benefit from them. Allow yourself to take brief breaks throughout stressful times of the day. A few seconds of silence may help you feel more equipped to deal with whatever comes your way without becoming irritated or upset. 

It can also give some time to your partner to think about what is going on between you two. In this case, you won’t be able to say anything hurtful to each other which can be harmful in the long run.

7 – Start Exercising

Physical activity can assist in the reduction of stress, which can lead to rage. Go for a fast walk or run, or spend some time doing other fun physical activities if you feel your anger is rising. 

Physical exercise has an amazing effect on health, and you’ll also find your skin glowing if you exercise regularly. It will also put your mind off things, allowing you to distract yourself for a while until your anger has been cooled down.

8 – Relax, Relax and Relax

Deep breathing exercises, a relaxing landscape, or telling yourself a soothing phrase or word, such as “Take it easy,” can all help you relax.

Yoga and meditation are also useful strategies for staying calm. It’s simpler to deal with the problems that life throws your way when you’re taking care of yourself.

9 – Forgiveness Is The Key

Forgiveness is a critical factor because it allows a person to easily defuse anger. Anger and other negative emotions overwhelm positive emotions and may make you sweep up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

However, if you can forgive someone who has offended you, you may be able to learn from the event while also strengthening your friendship.

For everyone, learning to control their anger might be difficult at times. If these modifications aren’t enough to help you regulate your anger, seek treatment from a mental health professional. 

If your anger flares up from time to time, causing you to do things you later regret or hurting those around you, seek help for anger management.

10 – Enroll in Anger Management Class

One of the key benefits of anger management class is that it improves your capacity to respond to difficult or irritating events in a healthy and productive manner. You’ll learn how to establish yourself without coming across as forceful or threatening.

Anger management courses also teach you how to aid in your overall health. It may even help you manage the negative consequences of unhealthy anger, such as headaches, insomnia, and stomach problems. If you are struggling to overcome your anger in a relationship then you can enroll into an online anger management class that is designed by experts to help you get rid of excessive anger.

Conclusion

It’s natural to feel irritation or anger, but it’s crucial to learn to accept it when it arises in a relationship. In a healthy relationship, coping skills are practiced to prevent anger from turning destructive. To understand the source and work towards re-establishing an emotional link and trust that both partners deserve, there are strategies to learn how to express, hear, and respond to anger. 

One of the best ways to control your anger is to exercise regularly because it can have an amazing effect on your health. It’s a healthy habit to go out for a fast walk as it also helps you keep your weight in control and also keep your anger level in check. If you exercise frequently, you’ll truly notice a change in your behavior, and it will all be for the good.