Love comes first. That’s right. But when you’re considering a serious relationship with someone, you should also consider your finances. You don’t want to jump into a relationship without being financially stable because come the first bump on the road – you are likely to feel dependent on your partner or just stressed and worried over what could they be thinking about.
Your finances, if taken care of, can be a complete game-changer in a relationship and here’s why:
You will feel independent. You can afford everything you want and need and you don’t have to wait for your partner to pay for it. You want something? Well, you don’t have to ask. This does not mean we all have to be millionaires, it just means obtaining a regular job and putting some money aside. It’s what will make you feel accomplished and worthwhile.
You won’t feel like a burden. This feeling can make you feel miserable and less confident. You think your partner sees you that way too and that will affect your relationship. Relying heavily on your partner and projecting your insecurities on them, will make your relationship hit a dead-end and may influence your partner’s opinion of you.
You won’t feel ashamed or scared to join finances. Knowing that you can contribute to that trip you were planning or to buying a condo or a car together will make you feel stable, and accomplished. You don’t want to feel like you have nothing to contribute with and feel like a failure. Things are as they should be – you share efforts and money and you get the thing you want. You don’t have to feel afraid to speak up if you don’t like something because hey, you are also contributing and you have every right to give your opinion.
You can give your partner the gift they deserve. Birthdays, anniversaries, Thursdays, or valentines will not be a responsibility. They will be a pleasure. You can shower your partner with something you know they really wanted and you don’t have to look at how much something costs and end up with a happy birthday card or a kiss only. While that is sweet and cute too, you love your partner and you also want to give them something more; you want to surprise them; you want to take them out to dinner, and you can do that once being financially independent.
You’ll be ready for whatever has to come. What if your partner loses their job? What if you break up? That money you’ve been putting aside, your regular job, or even your part-time job gives you a sense of stability that is priceless. You feel less fragile when you have some financial backup to rely on.
Money and love are polar opposites, but somehow they entwine and may cause a problem in a relationship. Having a steady income or some money aside will solve so many problems and you can enjoy your relationship without the overthinking/over-analyzing part. Are they in love with me? Do they think I am a burden or a failure? And the rest of the yada yada going on in your brain.
Nora Connel is a devoted writer with a BA in English Language and Literature. Her interests span around psychology, human relationships, and the inner self. She believes that writing has healing powers.