Long-term relationships are based on a lot of compromising and patience. You can’t expect to form a life with someone and have it your way only.
Relationships are a give and take, but there are things you deserve to feel and have in a relationship:
You deserve to feel wanted. This should not be discussed. I mean, what are we even talking about here? You should feel wanted and desired, you should be treated as a gemstone. Your partner should feel passionate about you, he should be all over you despite that you see each other every day. You shouldn’t struggle to get his attention, a hug, or a kiss.
You deserve your partner to trust you. You deserve someone to trust your words and actions. You deserve to have a life, to be able to go out without suffering through your partner’s possessiveness. So what if you want to grab a drink with the guys and stay watching the game late? So what if you glammed up to go out with your girls? Your partner should trust you. Doubting, jealousy, and controlling eat away a relationship.
You deserve to have your boundaries respected. No matter how much you love someone, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a life. That doesn’t mean you have to tolerate everything. Clearly state your boundaries and the things you cannot stand. Your partner should respect that. If it means you don’t want a public display of emotions than you don’t and that’s something they should take seriously.
You deserve to have your quirkiness adored. You are scared of spiders and the way you react when you see one should be something your partner finds cute and adorable. Or the way you pronounce a certain word, or how you behave when you are nervous, or someone stepped on your nerve or when your team is losing – these are all things that make you who you are and if your partner does not find that infatuating, who else will?
You deserve to be treated with devotion. You deserve affection and romance. Your partner should surprise you now and then, shower you with kisses, presents, and romantic dates. You deserve those romantic highs only love can bring. You deserve your partner to look after you when you are sick or just emotionally down from the world. Care, support, and having someone hold your hand is sometimes more important and valuable.
You deserve loyalty in a relationship. You deserve to feel emotionally stable, you deserve your partner to choose you for you. Over and over again. You deserve someone who will make you feel like this is the real deal, not like a temporary fling or a time filler. You deserve to know that no matter what happens, you can withstand everything, and you can do it together. You deserve to know that winds and storms cannot ruin your relationship – it should take a lot more than that.
You deserve not to be lied to. You deserve honesty. You deserve the truth. You deserve someone to be able to communicate with you and speak about their problems or what is bothering them in the relationship. You don’t have to go through a relationship where the truth is hiding behind your back and someone cannot share their secrets with you or just be honest. Communication is the key to improvement. If you are not aware of what’s bothering your partner, how can you fix it? Dishonesty will make you only grow apart.
Nora Connel is a devoted writer with a BA in English Language and Literature. Her interests span around psychology, human relationships, and the inner self. She believes that writing has healing powers.