Dating. The thing that speeds up our heartbeat and the thing that has the power to crush our spirits in an instant. Yet we are so high on love that no matter the pain, we keep going. We keep pushing the wall; we stretch the sacrifices we make for love, blinded by the effect she has on us.
We often forget that to love a person, you should not want to change them. We often forget that to love a person means you shouldn’t feel this urge to adjust them. Make them fit your needs and desires, force them into meeting your criteria.
We often forget that in doing so, we end up hurting ourselves. Aggression creates more aggression, so where is the end to that?
Love is unforced. It happens despite somebody’s flaws. Embrace that uniqueness your partner has. Embrace how they perceive things differently than you. Embrace how their understanding of the world is different. That uniqueness should complement your life, so grasp it. Welcome it with arms wide open. Don’t be afraid to surrender to the unknown.
Seeking someone who will behave exactly like us or who’ll have the same opinions or priorities as us is not just silly, it’s impossible. Where is the magic then, right? It’s like asking two people to draw an elephant. Will their drawings be exactly the same?
You are meant to fall in love with someone that’s real, not someone that adjusts their personality or behavior. Letting yourself be loved through your partner’s prism means immersing yourself in an awakened union. Your partner, your soulmate, your love, has their own colors, let yourself be painted into a masterpiece, dear.
Let go of those almost primal urges to change someone, just love and let be loved. Let love be your mover, your sunshine. Don’t cage your spiritual growth through rejection. We all experience life in our own ways.
In love, we have to fit together and make things work. Forcing others to fit into our lives just never works. Love does not thrive on ultimatums. It thrives on acceptance, compassion.
Embrace. Embrace. Embrace.
Embrace uniqueness. Embrace differences. Utter those words like a mantra.
Maybe your partner is supposed to help you grow spiritually if you just let them. By letting go, by not forcing anything, by expecting nothing…you attract and receive everything.
Spirituality, love, are the ones that move us higher up. Not our pride or ego. Not having someone do something exactly how we told them to, shouldn’t wound our delicate, snowflake personality. Shouldn’t be a threat to our sensitive ego. It’s only human.
Gulp the goodness, the patience, the kindness. Immerse your soul into an egoless personality and maybe in doing so, you’ll receive everything you ever wanted.
Spirituality in a way means believing that whatever comes your way is meant to be that way. You are meant to learn from it. It means trusting life, nature, or the universe to take you exactly where you are supposed to be. It’s a flow you have to trust.
When you change your thoughts, you will reflect beauty only. You will filter the annoyances of every day, the imperfections of your partner, the disagreements, the obstacles. You will focus on the growth and the growth will happen.
Because you have soaked in the good only and you have let go of criticism and dissatisfaction, and so you’ll notice your conversations getting deeper, your faith stronger, and your patience longer.
Define your relationship by what it is, by what it has, not by what it lacks, and you’ll end up having a deeper connection with your partner. Eliminate reproaches and why-isn’t-our-relationship-that-way type of thoughts and you’ll sense that growth I talked to you about.
These things you can feel, and that’s how you’ll know the progress is happening. You’ll feel more free, more loosened up because your fears and dissatisfactions will not cage you anymore. You’ll know it when your quest is completed, you’ll feel a peace of mind. It’s a change that has to happen within you.
Nora Connel is a devoted writer with a BA in English Language and Literature. Her interests span around psychology, human relationships, and the inner self. She believes that writing has healing powers.