Being truly intimate with someone means having someone you can share your soul with. Intimacy may start with the physical, but it does not end there.
It is easy to find a lover. It is easy to find a fling. Sometimes, all you have to do is ask. There are many men and women out there who want nothing more than physical intimacy and the feeling of being next to someone. For the mere pleasure of fun and enjoyment, or for the mere forgetting that loneliness lurks from within.
However, the act of being physically intimate is not enough. It’s the mover and the shaker, but it’s not what maintains a relationship.
For me, the mere act of being physically intimate with someone is not enough.
I want to have a lover and a best friend.
I want to have a best friend as a lover.
I want a person whose arms will make me feel like the whole world belongs to me and a person whose arms will be my whole world.
I want to be able to cry my eyes out in front of them and still feel comfortable and beautiful. I want to have pillow fights and long talks about everything and nothing with them. I want to eat pizza without the crust and beer from a bottle over a movie night. I want to be myself in front of that person and I want to be able to look sloppy wearing no makeup on; shirt stained from the pizza’s oily cheese and Christmas socks on me even though it’s not winter anymore and STILL feel happy and accepted. Loved. Adored.
I want us to have our own jokes, memes, and our own emojis we send to each other like when we are bored at work or after a hangover.
I want it all or nothing.
I am not afraid to stay single until I find that. Okay, maybe I am a little bit scared, but this is how I am fighting my fears, with writing about it.
I want to choose my life; I don’t want to settle for it. I am going to discover myself; I am going to have a blast on my own until the right person comes along and the wait will be worth it.
Bear with me, my friend. Let’s cross that fear bridge together. What’s ours will come and it will be beautiful. Repeat after me.