There is a great difference between being alone and being lonely. A loner will always prefer being alone, but they will never feel lonely.
“I don’t like people. I’d rather be alone”
Loners are a unique type of people. They prefer having a smaller circle of friends, and they do not mind spending time alone, being with themselves. So, unlike those who feel lonely, loners never feel lonely.
In fact, being in their own company makes them feel most fulfilled, as this is when they are most in touch with themselves. Loners are very self-aware, and perhaps this is why they prefer to be alone. (1)
Why Do I Like Being Alone?
You have probably asked yourself this question and felt weird because you do not understand the nature of loners. Loners are not bad people. They have very good personality characteristics, in fact.
And maybe you have been wondering why you enjoy being alone most of the time, and whether there is something wrong with you. No, you are not crazy. Nothing is wrong with you. And below is a list of reasons that will help you understand why you enjoy your own company the most.
Reasons Why You Love Being Alone
1. You are an introvert.
There is a high chance you are an introvert if you love spending time alone. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. On the contrary, introverts are one of the best people because they reserve their interactions and energy for the people who mean the world to them.
You like being alone because you don’t have the personality of an extrovert who is always around people. On the other hand, you feel suffocated in crowded places with a lot of people.
You live your solitary life the best you can and there’s nothing wrong with it. You do your best work in solitude and you don’t want to waste your time entertaining other people.
2. Your energy supplies are lower than others
You probably know someone who is always high on energy. They are always on the move, and they always ask you to hang out with them. They are constantly bombarding you with texts and calls, and oftentimes they get on your nerves.
You wonder why you are not like them, and then you remember that you don’t have the energy like them for social gatherings and interactions. And while you enjoy taking a walk or exercising, you love more the comfort you get in your home when you relax on your comfy bed.
Everyone has their way of resting and recuperating after a long day. You like being alone because that’s how you recharge your batteries.
3. You love doing your own thing
You know yourself. You know what you like, and you also know what you don’t like. And there is no way that someone could force you to do something you are not comfortable with.
Plus, when you are with other people, you can’t do the things you love doing because everything you love doing requires peace and quiet, something you can’t find when you are around other people.
When you are alone, you can be yourself, and you can do whatever you like. And that’s something you won’t give up that happiness for anything in the world.
4. You want peace and quiet
You would always pick the silence of your home over the noisiness of your city. And it’s not that you have a problem with people. Their company drains your energy and exhausts you.
Your quiet room and comfy couch are your escape when you are running low on energy. And, of course, there is no space for anyone else. Because if you add only one person to the equation, then the peace you love gets destroyed.
This is also the reason why you prefer working from home. Working in an office with a bunch of people will destroy your focus and creativity because you are your best self at home.
5. You are a deep thinker
You love to sit alone and think about the deep things in life. You think about your goals, ambitions, future, love, the Universe, you name it. And even though you don’t like to socialize so much, your mind is always busy.
And of course, this is so different from those people who can’t be alone. Those people can’t sit alone and spend time with their thoughts. You aren’t like them, and you should be lucky for that. You are a true blessing to this world, like all the great philosophers of the past.
6. You are most productive when you are alone
When you are on your own, you can fully concentrate on your work. There are no distractions. No one can disturb your peace with their energy. But, unfortunately, you are so accustomed to being alone that every little distraction makes you lose focus.
When you are alone, your creativity emerges. And when you are in that state, you can do anything you want.
7. You hate drama
You can’t understand people who like talking about others behind their backs. You hate gossip because you hate the negative energy and toxicity that always comes when you speak ill of somebody. You want your peace and positive vibes and that’s why you avoid people who gossip.
You don’t want to waste your energy on people who bring you down with their toxicity and negativity. You would rather be by yourself and be happy than get involved in unnecessary drama.
8. You hate small talk
“How are you?” “Wow, the weather is nice today”, “Have you gained weight?”… These are all questions that annoy the hell out of you. They are pointless, meaningless, and you can’t understand why someone would ask them.
You have better things to do with your time than get involved in superficial, small talk. Anything that doesn’t carry meaning doesn’t have a place in your life.
And when you do have a conversation with someone, it is always about something meaningful because you really want to get to know better the person with whom you are talking. You don’t want to know about the weather.
9. You are responsible for your emotions
You don’t need anyone around you to make you happy. You know that everyone is responsible for their own happiness, and that’s why you try to make the best out of your day.
You are fulfilled from within, and therefore, you don’t need a bunch of people to make you feel good. You are the master of your own emotions and you don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel.
10. You are very sensitive to other people’s energies
Yes, you are in touch with your emotions, and you are capable of distancing yourself from others and functioning on your own. However, when it comes to dealing with other people’s emotions, especially negative ones, you get drained quickly.
You are an empath, so you are extremely sensitive to all kinds of energies surrounding you. You are like a sponge that absorbs everything, and that’s why you need your alone time – to recharge your batteries and heal from outside influences.
11. The small things in life make you happy
Even though most people are constantly trying to better their lives with material possessions and money, you enjoy the little things in life. For example, you prefer reading a good book while having a cup of coffee than worrying about labels and social status.
You don’t have a problem saying ‘no’ to events and social gatherings because you don’t care about ‘being seen.’ You are content with your life and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.
12. You don’t like getting physically and emotionally close to other people
Getting physically and emotionally close to someone makes you feel vulnerable and anxious. Perhaps it is because of your general lack of faith in people, or maybe you are scared of getting hurt based on past trauma.
Whatever the reason, opening your heart to someone else is a risk you would rather not take. You don’t want anyone to have so much power over you. Because, when you truly love someone that’s when you are most in danger of getting your heart broken.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you don’t have anyone close to you. It only means that you are very picky when choosing the people you spend your time and energy with.
That being said, if you fall into this category of people who enjoy being alone, then you probably also share some of the personality characteristics that are common to them.
Here Are 6 Characteristics These People Share:
1. Firm boundaries
A loner always exercises strong and healthy boundaries. They can understand themselves perfectly, which allows them to set clear ideas and strong values. They know that they are never alone, as even if they are the last person on earth, they have themselves.
Therefore, they will respect their boundaries (and those of others) and let you know if you are about to cross them. In the end, if you are not faithful to yourself, you cannot be faithful to anyone.
A loner does not crave the company of others the way many do. However, once they get to like someone and want them as a close friend, they become the most loyal of friends you can find.
They know how to value their worth, and if they find you to be worthy of being their friend, they will gladly give an arm for you when necessary. They exercise their loyalty in all fields in life, be it relationships, work, family, you name it.
Of course, they can also be loyal to those that they don’t know. A worthy cause can garner their support as well, and they are often the first to donate. For instance, the American Red Cross holiday giving campaign – focused on providing relief to disaster victims this year – will bring in many dollars from this personality type.
Even if they like being alone, this does not make them rigid and closed. On the contrary, loners are very open-minded, and they are always up for new ideas and activities. A loner will not spend their lives in their room, or with the same beliefs and opinions.
They enjoy exploring new ideas and activities, and they do not mind trying out different things in life. However, they will ensure that they have had their alone time before taking up things that involve many people.
Loners are amazingly strong and sober when challenging situations come in the way. Their strong focus and willpower come from their frequent self-reflection during their alone time.
They may feel overwhelmed by stressful situations, but instead of wasting their time on distractions, they will decide to spend some alone time and recharge. They devise solutions to the problem and ways to cope with it during this time.
While many people choose to ignore their thoughts and emotions, loners choose to indeed focus on them and become fully aware of them. Being aware of oneself is very important and something which is very difficult to achieve.
Loners know themselves better than anyone else, allowing them to understand those around them better. Of course, everyone has periods of depressive and discouraging thoughts, but loners are able to navigate through them and learn their lesson.
6. Valuing the time
If something is essential for a loner, it is time. They respect and value their time and that of those around them. In truth, time is the most critical asset for success in life, and they are well aware of it.
This is why they will do everything in their power to never be late, never waste someone’s time, and never allow others to waste their time. They are categorical when the time comes into question, and it is perhaps their most valued boundary that they will never change.
Loners avoid trivialities and fake behavior. They never tolerate people who think that they can be played with. They are very self-aware, and you can learn a lot from them about self-respect.
Respect their time as they respect yours, and respect their boundaries the way they respect yours. If you know how to connect with a loner, expect a genuine friendship filled with loyalty, great advice, and respect.
Things That Happen When You Learn To Love Being Alone
I like being alone. And I guess as I get older, I like being alone even more. I enjoy my own company, and the time spent with myself makes me happy and fills me with positive energy. So, yes, I am alone, but I am not lonely. On the contrary, I love the silence, the quietness, the peace. Plus, I get to experience all the wonderful things that occur when someone learns to love being alone.
1. You recharge
When you are all alone, you don’t have any distractions. You can relax and clear your mind after a long workday. You can recharge your batteries and revitalize your energy, body, and soul.
2. You start trusting yourself.
When you learn to love being alone, you will also learn to become your best friend. You will learn to trust yourself. You will recognize your strengths and abilities to deal with anything that comes your way, good or bad.
3. You start reflecting on your life.
When you are spending time alone, you can start thinking and reflecting about your life – where you are right now and where you wish to be. You can also discover the ways to improve yourself and your life so that you get anything you want out of your life.
4. You become stronger.
When you embrace being alone, then your true powers emerge. You start realizing what you are capable of. Moreover, you become stronger because you know you are on your own when it comes to solving every problem that emerges in your life.
5. You get more in touch with your emotions.
When you are alone, you will also have a clearer view of your emotions. When you spend that much time on your own, you will, in turn, become able to hear your thoughts and the deepest desires of your heart.
6. You are free to do whatever you want.
When you are alone, you have all the freedom you want and to do whatever you want to do. You can wear any clothes you want, eat whatever you like, and spend your time in any activity you love and that makes you happy.
7. You are happier.
When you are alone, you can relax, and your mind will relax as well. And when your mind is free from toxic and negative thoughts, you will naturally feel more positive and happier.
8. You will manage to do more things.
Being alone makes you more focused and determined to finish whatever task you started. When you are fully concentrated, you will get to do more things because you are free of distractions. When you start spending more time alone, your productivity levels will sky-rocket.
9. You will start appreciating others more.
By spending more time alone, you will also start seeing other people in a new light. You will begin to appreciate every contact you make with another person and get to truly enjoy their presence.
10. You have a deeper understanding of yourself.
When you are alone, you get to know yourself on another level. You are better able to tap into the deepest part of you and truly understand yourself, what you need, what you love, what makes you happy… All these things are essential for your well-being and your interaction with others because you will be able to set stronger boundaries and other people will respect you for it.
11. You will start choosing quality over quantity.
When you embrace being alone, you will realize that the number of people around you doesn’t matter. What matters is who you surround yourself with. You will also realize that it is better to have a small, carefully chosen group of friends you are close with than to have a bunch of acquaintances to waste your time.
12. You become more confident and more independent.
Spending a lot of time alone will provide you with the confidence you need to do everything for yourself. You will learn not to depend on anyone to make you happy or do things for you. You will become independent and more capable of accomplishing what you desire.
13. When it comes to love and dating, you have stronger and clearer boundaries.
When you are happy in your own company, you don’t need anyone, especially not someone who takes you for granted and doesn’t appreciate you. However, when it comes to love, your boundaries are clearly set, and you don’t let anyone take advantage of you.
14. You are not scared to be alone.
When you love your own company, the bond you have with yourself is so strong that you stop being afraid of ending up alone. Because, when you are alone you are so happy and fulfilled that you don’t feel like you need another person to make you feel complete.
15. Your relationships with other people are stronger.
When you love being alone, your connection with yourself improves and thus your relationship with other people improves as well. You can be connected on a deeper level with others and understand them better because you are free of judgment and negativity. You will also become a great listener since you have got accustomed to listening to your own thoughts without interrupting yourself.
16. You don’t need validation and approval from anyone.
When you realize your own value, you don’t need anyone to tell you how much worthy you are. Plus, you stop seeking approval and validation from others because when you are alone, you stop feeling the need to show off to the world.
17. You live a better life.
When you love being alone, you also start loving your life even more. In turn, your life gets better and you get more fulfilled. You start taking ownership of your life and you learn that the power to improve your life and achieve your goals lies in you.
18. You learn that happiness comes from within.
When you learn to love being alone, you will find your true happiness. And it will be a different kind of happiness, like nothing you have experienced before. It will be a kind of happiness that comes from within, happiness that comes from feeling complete.
And that’s the beauty of being alone.
However, is it normal to prefer being alone?
Yes, it is perfectly normal to desire to be alone. Everyone needs their own space and alone time. However, the quantity of the desired alone time differs from person to person. We are not the same; thus, some people may want to be more on their own, while others need less alone time and more time socializing with others. Both of these groups of people are normal.
However, I must mention that the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic are catastrophic to some people because our everyday life has been drastically interrupted and altered. Namely, if you live with your family, you have to spend more time together with your family. On the other hand, if you live alone, then you have probably felt more alone than ever.
We all want a different kind of ‘alone.’ Some like to be alone with their thoughts. Some want to read a book. Some want to walk alone. And even though there are people who think that being seen alone eating at a restaurant is embarrassing, let me tell you – it is not!
You are free to do whatever you want to do with your time. If you want to be alone, there is no shame about it.
And that is normal.
As for me, I love being alone. Below I will share with you why I prefer being alone.
Why am I happiest alone?
Why do I want to be alone all the time? My friends ask me this question, and I can honestly say I don’t know the exact answer. But I do know this. BEING ALONE MAKES ME HAPPY.
And I decided that it was time for me to follow my heart and do things that make me happy. And most of the things include me being on my own and enjoying my solitude. And the majority of people still think that you need someone to make you happy, so they can’t understand that some of us don’t need anyone to make us happy. Some people are happy and fulfilled by themselves.
So, if you too are like me and prefer being alone, I want you to know that nothing is wrong with you. Don’t try to fit in. Don’t let other people tell you what you should do.
As Charlotte Bronte, in her dear novel Jane Eyre, said, “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.” So, maybe that’s the key to being truly happy and at peace with oneself.
If you want to spend a weekend by yourself over going out with your friends – do it without apologizing for it. Don’t feel guilty. It is your decision on how you will spend your free time.
Remember, it is your life.
As for me, I want to be left alone most of the time, and I don’t care what other people think. I know that I need that time with myself, and I won’t apologize for it.
I want to be alone, and I am happy being alone. Period.
To our alone time! Cheers!
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A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from health, nutrition and psychology.