Home Love & Relationships The Four Love Elements That Make It True Love, According To Buddha

The Four Love Elements That Make It True Love, According To Buddha

elements of love

What exactly is true love? Different people have different ideas of what true love is. To some, this is when their partner looks and behaves the way they want. To others, it’s the kind of love we see in romantic movies. But, I believe we can all agree that it’s the most powerful and fulfilling experience.

True love is so much more than just finding the perfect person to be with. According to Buddha, if kindness, compassion, joy, and freedom are the qualities that characterize your relationship, this means you’re experiencing true love.

So, true, strong, and long-lasting love doesn’t necessarily have to be something magical that springs out of a fairy tale.

Four  love elements:

1. Maitri

Maitri, or kindness, is the desire and, most importantly, the ability to make someone happy. You can love someone a lot, but if you don’t love them in the right way, they won’t be happy. When you’re kind to yourself and your loved one, you’re able to make both of you feel satisfied, appreciated, and happy.

You can harness the ability of Maitri, by developing a deep understanding of who they are. By understanding their needs, desires, insecurities, and problems, you’ll learn how to love them in a meaningful and fulfilling way.

How to develop this element.

Learn to mindfully listen to your loved one. Ask them about their hopes and goals. Refrain from judging their opinions and perspective. Let them know that you understand how they feel and what they’re going through.

2. Karuna

Karuna, or compassion, is the desire and ability to alleviate the pain of others. This element is developed when you have a true understanding of your partner’s suffering because it’s only then when you can help them get through and ease their pain. (1)

How to develop this element.

Ask your loved one what distresses them and if there’s a way you can help and support them. Try to understand how they feel and let them know they can always rely on you for your advice and help.

3. Mudita

The element which connects all four elements together is Mudita which means joy or happiness. When you’re in love with someone and this fills you with real joy, you experience love in its truest form. If your love makes you feel satisfied and happy, you can be sure that it’s true love and that it grows stronger as well.

On the other hand, if your love makes you feel stressed out and upset, then you should know it’s not love.

How to develop this element.

Take time to do the things that fill you with joy, as individuals or both of you. If it’s your hobbies, watching a movie, or walking in nature alone or together with your partner that brings you joy, ensure that you make time for it. The joy you feel in yourself enables you to share your happiness with your loved one.

Additionally, it’s important for you to be able to find joy within yourself and with each other as well so as to experience love in its truest form.

4. Upeksha

Upeksha, or freedom, is the fourth element. To be free while being in a relationship with someone is a sure sign of true love. When couples experience this kind of love, each of the partners enjoys the freedom to be an individual and grows in their own way. This enables them to be themselves and have me – time while knowing that their loved one is enjoying the same things.

Additionally, when your love is characterized by this quality, it means that you’re free to share your opinions and ideas with each other without feeling uncomfortable or afraid that the other person might be judgmental.  You accept each other’s opinions and attitudes without discrimination and prejudices.

How to develop this element.

Do the things that you enjoy, such as practicing your favorite hobbies or hanging out with your friends. Spend some time apart from your partner without calling them a hundred times a day trying to find out where they are  and what they’re doing.  Have meaningful conversations with your loved one in which you’ll discuss your ideas and opinions without judging each other.

If there’s anything you’d like to add about the four elements of love, feel free to share your thoughts with us in the comments section below!