Social media. We live our lives there, but do we have to date there too? We try to maintain a certain picture of us; we try to make everything look perfect. That’s not happiness. That’s how you mimic happiness. It’s what happens when you live for perfect pictures and perfect outfits. Real life is different, especially dating.
You may not click with the other person, you may not share the same enthusiasm for some things, you may have a different vision. Your priorities may be different and some core understanding of life too.
Until you are certain you share a perspective with someone, date in silence. Make your partner your private little corner, keep it for you only: selfishly. Until you get to know them, until you know for sure you want to keep dating.
People like to impress in the beginning and they may not show their true colors, so analyze. Often, you won’t get a deeper side of a person until it’s too late.
We all need validation from the person we are dating, but it’s better to take things slow.
Validations will come later on, naturally. Form your own opinions, form your own judgment of that person. Some things should be private. You don’t owe it to anyone to explain about your love life, your feelings, or your love choices. You simply owe it to yourself.
A relationship should be between two people first, not among your friends and family, coworkers, and random people you know from Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Period.
When you date in silence, when you keep beginnings private, your judgment is not clouded by other people’s opinions, expectations, or whatever. It is yours – just like the life you are living.
When you date in private, you get to know if the risks are worth taking, if there are second thoughts, or if that’s the real deal or not. You don’t have to convince anyone whether or not you are happy – you just know. If you are not, you move on. Leave social media aside. Quit being an open book about your feelings to live a happier life. To have a happier relationship. One that’s just going to be yours before anything else.
Nora Connel is a devoted writer with a BA in English Language and Literature. Her interests span around psychology, human relationships, and the inner self. She believes that writing has healing powers.