Breaking up with a narcissist is incredibly difficult. Narcissists turn your life upside down. You wake up and go to bed being controlled by them. Their manipulation and poisonous lies become your everyday. You lose your self-confidence and self-respect. You exist only for their needs.
A narcissist is there to convince you that you deserve nothing better than that. And you stay in the relationship because you get used to the crap of life you believe you deserve. You think they will change. However, a wolf can change his coat, but not his character. Never.
Finally, you find the strength to show them the door. It’s time for you to say goodbye to them and move on with your life. You will be free. You will breathe clean air. Finally, you will feel alive… Will you? Will all your pain stop here?
Is it possible for a narcissist to accept your breakup that quickly? Are they done with you? A narcissist won’t give up on you that fast. They will try to sweep you off your feet once again… because they must survive. And they need a victim for that. You belong to them. They need you.
This is what happens when you finally break free from a narcissistic relationship.
1. They will stalk and spy on you.
If you have that strange feeling inside that someone is stalking you, then, it might be true. If you think that person is your narcissistic ex-partner, they’re without any doubt.
A narcissist will stalk you, especially if you discarded them first. They will stalk you in person and through social media. You will receive tons of messages and calls. A narcissist will even install spyware on your cell phone or hack into your computer.
Telling you sweet words and threatening you, a narcissist wants to create a total mess and confusion. They want to get you to the point where you won’t know whether you need to come back to them or leave forever. This monster is capable of anything.
2. They will make you feel guilty.
Once again, a narcissist will fall on their knees in front of you pretending like they care for you and you mean the world to them. You will even notice some fake tears in their eyes. They will talk about memories: all those days when you had a great time together.
In fact, a narcissist wants you to feel guilty. They play on the “guilt” card to pull you back into the relationship. If all those sweet words won’t help their plan, they will start the blame game calling you “cruel”, “selfish”, pretending like you never try to understand them.
All this will hurt you and make you feel like you are doing wrong to them…and you’re more likely to put some effort to prove them the opposite.
3. They will try to create a bad picture of you.
Once you leave, they will start to gossip and throw poisonous words about you among your friends, family…everyone. Of course, it’s not their fault; they will put all the blame on you.
Moreover, a narcissist will try to convince people that you are the bad person in this story. A narcissist will give everything to make you feel bad and gather people’s sympathy.
4. They will make you jealous.
What else sick can narcissists do? Triangulation is another weapon. They can create a love triangle to make you jealous. They want you to get back to the time when you were happy.
Being in a phase of healing, you are more likely to have a fear of losing them. Also, you have given everything for that relationship to succeed, so, now, why would you let that third person benefit from it? You will feel an unexplainable desire to win the narcissist’s heart again…when in fact, you get into their trap.
5. They will promise they will change.
And suddenly, a narcissist understands you. They promise they will do everything to get on the right path. They are ready to change for the sake of your relationship. And suddenly, they apologize to you. They bring all the hopes back to you.
All lies. All false promises. Once a narcissist gets comfortable with the relationship, the same manipulative story will take its place.
Don’t believe they will change. Cut them out of your life. Once and for all.
Image: Robert Marcillas Ronda
Sandy White is a creative writer with a vivid imagination. The power of curiosity leads her to explore people’s inner world which is portrayed in her articles.