Divorce is never easy. Sometimes, it can be downright brutal. Having an attorney you can rely on is a great way to take on the rough days. If you feel that your physical safety is threatened, take immediate steps to find a safe environment. Otherwise, however, follow these steps for an orderly divorce.
The first step
One partner needs to file for divorce. Once the filing is done, depending on the laws in your state, the other partner will need to move out of the house within a set period of time. If possible, have a conversation with your spouse about how you want to split up your possessions and how any children or pets will be cared for moving forward.
If you and your spouse can’t agree on any of the separation terms, take time in separate corners to cool down. The first several days after the decision will likely be very tough. You’ll be angry, but you’ll realize that fighting over every dish isn’t be healthy in the long run. Try to get yourself to a place where you can be friendly with each other.
Agree or disagree?
If you can calm down and make decisions about splitting your family and your belongings, you can enjoy an uncontested divorce. Uncontested divorces are quicker and less expensive. While you’ll still need to work with an attorney, you can save court costs and a lot of anger and hard feelings.
If possible, try to avoid thoughts of blame. While your early anger about the situation may be assuaged by blaming the other party, this is a way of looking backward, not forward. No perfect people get married and no marriage is perfect. It’s healthy and right to step away from your ex for a time to rebuild your confidence and self-worth. Using blame and anger to build your future makes a poor foundation.
Going to court
If you can’t come to terms, the divorce becomes a contested divorce. Having to participate in a contested divorce isn’t failing on anyone’s part. If your relationship includes children, the idea of splitting up the family can raise a lot of emotions and concerns. Both parents likely have strong ideas on the best way to move forward for the benefit of the children, and custody battles are common.
If you have children, your divorce agreement must include a custody agreement. In addition, a child support order will need to be created (unless the custody is to be shared). In the event of a particularly contentious divorce, custody agreements can be problematic if the parties are too rigid to flex. Again, try to keep things as pleasant as you can.
In the event of a contested divorce, both parties will need their own attorney. These attorneys will handle the majority of communications between the parties, which is a good way to get a breather from contact with your spouse.
How your attorney can help
The first thing your attorney can do is help you step away from the emotional storm. If your divorce battle is over belongings, you’ll need to make an inventory and provide your income data, as well as noting what you brought into the relationship. For families with children, your child may need to speak with a court-appointed counselor or advocate to determine how they’re handling the situation (and, if they’re old enough, their wishes).
Even uncontested divorces can be painful. However, working with the right divorce attorney in Utah will make the process manageable and help you to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Getting through a divorce
If you and your spouse can step back and decide to work together on your separation, you can save a great deal of time, expense, and anguish with an uncontested divorce.
However, should you find that discussing the divorce only causes contention, you may be better off letting your attorneys handle the communication. If child custody is part of the mix, do your best to provide a stable home for your child, no matter where they spend the majority of their physical time.
This is what you can expect when getting a divorce and how you can make the process run as smoothly as possible.