This goes out to the “best friend” who left selfishly without giving me the chance to say goodbye. Growing apart from people that were once close to me and experiencing that gut-wrenching feeling of loneliness and raw vacancy is one of the most painful and hardest things I’ve ever lived to experience.
I still can’t get over what happened. It’s almost a year now, but time can’t seem to heal my pain. I stay awake at night and think about all the logical reasons why someone would do that and what kind of a person would dare to do something so inexplicable to someone they loved so fondly.
You left me with so many unanswered questions. Was it my fault? Was it something else? Did it hurt you to cut me out of your life? Do you miss me? The thing that hurts me the most is that I might never get the chance to find the answers to my questions.
I can blame myself. I can get angry at you and never want to forgive you. I may never know the truth. And I may never get the closure I need. But I sure miss you a lot. Even though sometimes I hate myself for doing that. I just can’t help it.
But I know that no matter what I do, I can’t diminish our relationship. I cannot deny the bond we shared. Those were and will forever stay our fond memories. No matter what happened in our lives, I can’t devalue what we had. And what we had was special.
As much as I am angry with you for the way you left, I can’t deny that you were this big part of my life. And with that part gone, I felt like I was going to shatter into tiny little glass pieces and never be able to get back to where I was.
But I guess life is not just about beauty. These things make up for that balance. Life is colorful and dramatic – an amazing chain of events: some of them yellow, some of them grey, but some of them black. And they say everything happens for a reason. I truly hope I’ll find it soon enough.
Most importantly, I realized that I can’t stay mad at you. It’s hurting me. After all, it was your decision. No matter how hard it was for me to comprehend the cold-hearted truth, I learned the hard way that I need to let go.
Now I’m wiser. I came to terms with myself and made a decision that I will let you go. And I won’t be angry about everything you did. I must do this for myself and for all the good things we shared.
I don’t know if you’ll ever get to read this, or if you’ll ever see me again, but I hope you are doing well. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. And I hope you find people that startle you and cherish you the way I did.
Thank you for being there for me and thank you for our memories.
I hope our paths cross again someday. If not, I hope to see you in a different life.
Till then, I wish you nothing but pure happiness.
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