A few days ago, I was sitting at a local bar (a place where I usually go for lunch when I don’t feel like cooking). I mean, the place is practically my second home. Sometimes I feel the staff is bored of me, but then I remember that my constant lunches and brunches are actually supporting their business.
But yesterday one of the waiters lashed out on me for calling him twice to let him know that I want my pasta without mushrooms because I am actually allergic. He rolled his eyes at me and yelled at me for no absolute reason. It was a short moment of everyone staring at us, but I survived. Still, no matter how much I try to justify his actions (because supposedly he was new and inexperienced), I cannot.
Why? Why would you allow yourself to let your anger out on someone who has nothing to do with how you feel?
To me, that’s utterly irresponsible and uncalled for.
But, hey… People behaving rude, mean and disrespectful towards others is nothing new. It’s practically an epidemic. You just need to go out and analyze people for half an hour. And you will know everything you need to know.
What interests me, and I assume you as well, are the reasons for those behaviors. The root causes of their toxic and rude behaviors. It’s a fact that modern life itself is the number one trigger for our frustrations and stresses. But it’s not all there is.
Here are some of the most common causes:
1. Low self-confidence. If a person constantly blames themselves for anything or regards themselves in a very negative way, that destructive attitude is bound to backfire in a nasty way. Insecurity can easily be recognized in someone’s behavior towards others since people with low self-esteem usually mask their insecurities by being loud and sometimes rude.
2. Personal issues which derive from repressed emotions. We are all dealing with stress, whether it’s from our relationships, our work or our own mental issues. Sometimes we think that by avoiding these issues we can actually solve them. But the more we repress them, the more they pile up and the more likely that they may come out when less expected.
3. Cultural differences and a different set of values. There’s no escaping from that. Deep inside, we have different fears, insecurities, beliefs, opinions, and perspectives. And sometimes, some people simply cannot control that.
4. Personality disorders. Whether they are painful childhood traumas, experiences with toxic relationships, bad work environments, these can all be causes for serious personality disorders which if not treated can eventually be the reason for explosive and impulsive behaviors.
5. Emotional handicap. This can also be caused by heavy emotional trauma in the past. However, there are also cases where people are simply not matured enough. They grow old, but they never grow emotionally. And since they have no ability to identify their behavior as hurtful, they don’t really think before they do something wrong.
So, what do you think? What would you add to this list?
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