When you grow up with a toxic father, a father who has never been there for you, you learn to take care of yourself. You grow up faster than you should. You leave your childhood behind because you need to focus on your growth and your wellbeing. You realize that you are the only one you can ever rely on and so you do.
When you grow up with a toxic father, you learn from a very young age that you cannot rely on other people in your life. You are forced to suck it all up and find a solution to all of your problems on your own. You decide that you are not going to rely on anyone, and especially on any man to bring give you love, stability, and joy in your life. You go through life on your own and you learn from your mistakes. It is hard not having a role model, but you do it. Because you are left with no choice.
When you grow up with a toxic father, you become an independent person. You learn how to take care of yourself. You learn everything there is to life. You fall ten times, but you get up eleven. Because you need to be there for yourself. You feel strong and brave enough to go through life all alone. You learn to accept things and let go. You start to earn a living. You become your savior, protector and your own help.
When you grow up with a toxic father, you do everything to take care of the other members of your family. You spend time with your mother and your siblings, and you do your best to make up for everything that your father ever took away from you. You stay strong for them when they feel like they are about to fall down. You look after them. You protect them and you cherish your relationships with them. You show them how grateful you are to have them in your life.
When you grow up with a toxic father, you create a family on your own. You dedicate your life on finding people that you can trust. You become very cautious about who gets to be your friend and who doesn’t. You reinvent a new definition of the word family. You spend your life with them, you confide in them, you do everything with them. Because you trust them. And because you know that blood has nothing to do with real love. That is the biggest lesson you’ve learned in life.
When you grow up with a toxic father, you understand the importance of loving yourself before loving anyone else. You realize that it is perfectly fine to cut off every person who doesn’t make you feel good, even if you end up all alone in the world. You learn to put yourself first and walk away when something doesn’t feel right.
Most importantly, when you grow up with a toxic father, you give your best to become a different person than he ever was. A better human being. A better friend. A better parent. Someone your future kids will look up to. Someone who will provide the people in their life with the love that they need. Someone who will not make the same mistakes. And someone who will be proud of the life they’ve created for themselves.
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