Being Friends with Your Ex: Reasons Why This Is Impossible and How to Stay in Warm Relations
Most divorced couples hope that after the divorce, they can remain friends. Yes, there’s nothing wrong with staying in a warm relationship with an ex, but the main question that arises here is: Is it a good idea to be friends with your ex?
Many are not even aware that chances are that this won’t work out and that it can negatively affect the lives of both of you. It makes sense to stay in a warm relationship and respect each other. But friendship is far from what is needed. Let’s talk more about this right here.
It is certainly good when you and your ex-spouse can maintain a respectful relationship after a divorce. Now you know how to do this, so say goodbye to negative emotions and open yourself to a new life.
The two tricky questions we often have after we break up with someone are: Can exes be friends? and Should I be friends with my ex? The answer?
Well, some people say yes and others say no. If you ask me, I believe the answer to these questions depends on whether you’re okay with the breakup and you’ve come to terms with the notion that whatever you and your ex had is really over. The thing is that if you still have feelings for your ex, chances are that you’ll secretly cherish hopes of reconciliation. And if your ex gets into a relationship with someone new, this is going to break your heart once again. So, in this case, staying friends with your ex isn’t a good idea.
Undeniably, when you break up with someone, whether respectfully and gracefully or on bed terms, you’re left with all kinds of confusing and complicated emotions. It can be difficult to determine how you’re feeling, especially if you’ve been in a long relationship with someone, the breakup can make you feel like your whole world has collapsed over your head.
However, if that breakup didn’t happen because one of you cheated on the other person or did something devastating, then you need to accept the fact that you were a couple for a long time and share many memories. So, in this case, chances are that you might want to stay friends with your ex.
The tricky thing is that the only way to transition into the friend zone is to have a clear intention in mind. If you still truly love your ex, it’s likely that staying friends is only going to bring a lot of disappointment and sadness into your life.
But if you know that you no longer feel anything for your ex, or that even if you feel something, you know those feelings will fade over time, in that case, it’s possible and a good idea to be friends with them.
So, if you’ve decided that you want to keep your ex in your life, here’s how you can safely and easily transition into the friend zone:
There could be various reasons why your ex might want to be friends with you, and in what follows, we’ve presented the 8 most common ones.
If you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a longer period of time, it can be difficult to come to terms with the breakup and accept the idea that your ex is no longer a part of your life because, after all, you share so many memories.
So, your ex may miss your company. They may miss the things you used to do together and the places you used to go to while you were in a relationship. They simply yearn for your company.
Your ex might have realized that the decision to end your relationship was an impetuous and wrong decision, so now they want to get you back into their life by staying friends with you.
Maybe your ex planned to get into a relationship with someone new soon after you broke up. But, their plan didn’t come to fruition, so now they feel stuck and lonely. So, they may think becoming friends with you can help soothe their loneliness, at least until they find someone else.
If you and your ex share common friends, chances are that you’ll often meet. So, becoming friends with you will help make the situation less awkward and unpleasant every time the two of you and your common friends meet.
The reason your ex might want to be friends with you could be that they suddenly realized all the advantages you enjoyed as a couple. Perhaps they felt happier, more content, and more satisfied with their life. Or perhaps they miss the perks of sharing expenses with you.
Cutting all ties with someone who’s been truly important to you in your life can be difficult. Chances are that your ex wasn’t aware of this earlier, but now they are. This has caused them to fear making changes in all aspects of life, from daily chores to personal relationships to work.
Whether you like this idea or not, it could be the reason why your ex wants to keep you in their life. Being in a relationship where they won’t need to commit to you will give them the freedom to see and date other people, which is an opportunity many would like to take.
If your ex has told you that they want to be friends with you so badly, perhaps the reason for this is not that they miss your company, want to hang out with you every day, or want to rekindle the relationship. Instead, they might want to be friends with you because they don’t want to live their life thinking that you hold grudges against them or that you believe they feel about you this way.
Cutting off contact with an ex may be a difficult thing to do, especially if you’re still trying to come to terms with a breakup. However, going no contact is the most effective and quickest way to get over a breakup and move on with your life. So, here are 6 reasons why cutting all ties with your ex is a good idea:
Whether the breakup was messy or friendly and respectful, sadness, disappointment, regret, and anger are common emotions we experience following a breakup. And the truth is that it’s difficult to deal with these negative emotions if you still keep in touch with your ex.
Cutting all ties with your ex after a breakup will help you heal, get them out of your soul and mind, and move on with your life way faster.
Your relationship most likely ended because it was broken, and things between you and your ex didn’t function the way they should have. Being in this type of relationship can easily diminish your self-esteem and cause you to have a negative outlook on life.
Letting go of your ex means letting go of all the complaints about them and the disappointment and negativity you had to endure while in a relationship with them. Once these are out of your life, you’ll be able to perceive the world and life positively and boost your self-esteem.
Not only cutting off contact with your ex will help you heal faster, but it’ll also help you achieve emotional clarity more quickly, which, in turn, will help you determine what steps you should take next.
Achieving emotional clarity can also help you become more aware of your deepest emotions and decide what qualities you’re exactly looking for in a partner and what kind of relationship you want to be in in the future.
It’s sad that many people stop doing activities and practicing hobbies they enjoyed before they got into a relationship. Many people tend to forget their likes, interests, desires, and passions in a relationship. They get accustomed to living life in their comfort zone and forget about essential parts of their lives.
Cutting all ties with your ex will give you more energy and time to commit to pursuing your goals, do things you’ve always wanted to do, practice hobbies you’ve always wanted to try, and go to places you’ve always wanted to visit. Once you let go of your ex, you’ll quickly realize that your life without a partner can be so beautiful, sweet, and meaningful.
When you break up with someone and feel disappointed and sad since the relationship failed, it’s easy to fall into a trap where you’ll constantly remind yourself of the good times and all the beautiful memories you and your ex share while overlooking their flaws.
If you focus too much on your past, you can easily start idealizing your ex and hoping you’ll rekindle the relationship. However, what you need to remember is that just because your relationship was deep and meaningful doesn’t mean you’re supposed to stay together forever, and loving someone doesn’t mean they’re right for you.
Cutting all ties with your ex will make it easier for you to find and fall in love with someone who’s right for you. Someone who deserves your attention and love and is more than willing to commit to you.
However, if you don’t get rid of the emotional baggage from your past relationship, every romantic relationship you might be in in the future is bound to fail.
