“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own… Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.” – Robert A. Heinlein
It is said that jealousy is the green-eyed monster that can destroy even the best relationships. And, there is no such thing as good jealousy. Jealousy is an unhealthy mental behavior that is usually linked to the lack of self-confidence in the jealous person.
And, just like you don’t have a right to spark jealous feelings intentionally in your partner, your partner must trust you when you are out with friends they don’t know, or when your phone suddenly dies, and they can’t reach you.
But, the truth is, everyone gets jealous from time to time. The key is to recognize and control those feelings of jealousy and not allow them to control our behavior.
So, how can you know if your partner’s jealousy is unhealthy? Below are 12 signs that tell your partner has an unhealthy jealousy.
1. THEY ALWAYS SUSPECT THE WORST OF YOU
When your partner suspects everything you do, it cannot lead to any good. It is not healthy assuming the worst about someone, especially about someone that is close to us, like our partner. These jealousy feelings and suspicions can ruin the relationship.
And, even if you think that it is adorable that your partner wants to know how your night went in details, you need to distinguish whether they ask because they are jealous, or because they actually care about you. There is a big difference.
2. THEY WANT TO CONTROL YOU
You know straight from your heart that your partner is unhealthily jealous when they try to control every aspect of your life. Plus, they may behave in a controlling and aggressive manner that may leave you scared at times.
But, whatever their behavior is, there is no excuse for them checking your phone, forbidding you to go out with friends, watching your every move, accusing you of lying and cheating, and so on. You must put an end to that relationship because there is no love there.
3. THEY ARE ALWAYS AROUND YOU
Another sign of an unhealthy jealousy is when your partner goes everywhere with you. They might even start to abandon everything in their life just to be close to you to keep an eye on you.
Even though it can feel really good to have your partner by your side every time, don’t ignore this unhealthy and even dangerous behavior. It is not normal for someone to abandon everything that is going on in their life only to be able to control their partner because of the jealousy they can’t control.
4. YOU NOTICE STRESS SIGNS
Does your partner’s face tighten or turn red, or they clench their teeth and fists when they see you talking to someone else? Do they watch you closely during your whole conversation with the other person?
This is a sign of unhealthy jealousy in your partner, especially when it is combined with other signs like their need to control you, checking your phone, wanting to know your whereabouts, and so on.
5. THEY WANT TO HAVE A DETAILED INFO ABOUT YOUR WHEREABOUTS
When your partner expects you to give them a detailed info about where have you been, what have you been doing, and with who – this is not a healthy behavior. It is a sign of your partner being unhealthily jealous.
You can’t know everything about your partner, nor do they. You shouldn’t have to give them detailed explanations of every single moment in your life in order for them to trust you.
6. THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU
When your partner is constantly calling or texting you and freaks out if your phone suddenly dies and they can’t reach you – it is a sure sign of your partner being unhealthily jealous.
When they blame you for not replying to their text right away or start asking you why you didn’t pick up the phone when they called you, it is a kind of unhealthy behavior that you need to get away from.
7. THEY WANT YOU TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN WAY
Does your partner expect you to change your behavior according to their terms and beliefs? Do they feel justified in telling you what to or not to do? Are you sometimes scared of confronting your partner about this because you fear it may lead to an argument or a physical response?
If you answered ‘yes’ to the questions above, your relationship is in a dangerous territory that you need to get away from as soon as possible.
8. THEY DISAPPROVE OF YOUR FRIENDS
When you notice your partner always criticizing and disapproving of those who you spend your time with, be it your friends, family members, or even things that you love doing – it a tell-tale sign of their unhealthy and uncontrolled jealousy.
It feels like a threat to them if you have a life on your own, friends and hobbies that you love because they feel that as long as you can be perfectly happy on your own, you can leave them easily. You shouldn’t accept this type of behavior nor you should give up the things you love.
9. THEY ARE VERY EMOTIONALLY DEPENDENT
Emotional dependency is the number one revealing sign that a person is extremely jealous. In a relationship, this means that one of the partners is so needy and emotionally dependent on their partner that they need to keep him/her only for themselves.
This may be because they are afraid of being on their own, so they’ll cling to the other person and never let them go. Even when they notice that the other is unhappy, they will still hold on to the relationship because it is too scary for them to be alone on the unknown.
10. THEY FOLLOW YOUR EVERY STEP ON SOCIAL MEDIA
If your partner follows your every move on social media, who you follow, what photos you like, with whom you get friends with, and so on, it is a sign of an unhealthy jealous behavior.
You should live your life the way you want, and not worry if your partner gets angry when he sees you liked a photo that has a guy in it.
11. THEY FREAK OUT WHEN SOMEONE LIKES YOUR SELFIES ON SOCIAL MEDIA
This is the opposite situation of the above one. It is when your partner gets angry and jealous when they see someone has liked your picture and they become suspicious.
It is not your fault that someone liked your selfie, nor you should have to feel guilty about it and start explaining yourself to your partner. Your partner’s actions are unjustified and wrong.
12. THEY WANT YOU ALL TO THEMSELVES ALONE
Even though it may feel romantic and passionate when someone wants to spend every single moment with you alone, especially when the relationship is fresh, this is usually a red flag because this type of isolation leads to unhealthy behavior in the future.
One thing is missing someone and wanting to see them often, another thing is demanding of that person to spend all their time with you. The second one is unhealthy, and it can lead to emotional abuse.
If you notice these signs of unhealthy jealousy in your partner, we advise you to be careful. Best is to leave this kind of relationship because having a jealous partner by your side can only leave you emotionally wounded.
Mary Wright is a professional writer with more than 10 years of incessant practice. Her topics of interest gravitate around the fields of the human mind and the interpersonal relationships of people.If you have a general question or comment please fill out the form and we will get back to you as soon as possible https://curiousmindmagazine.com/contact-us/ .