It seems that one of the hardest decisions that we ever have to make is when we try to decide if our partner is the right person for us. Sometimes it is not enough the love you have for one another but how compatible you two are in the long run.
When it comes to choosing the person we are going to spend our life with, it is essential for us to make the right decision. Meaning, the person we are going to marry has to possess qualities that make them capable of enduring all the good and bad times that come inevitably in every marriage.
The best marriages are those between two individuals who choose each other every day, who make the sacrifices needed for their marriage, who love and respect each other, and most importantly, who are constructive in their arguments and are able to compromise.
Here are 8 questions to ask your partner that will help you to get more insight in his/her personality before you decide that you want to marry them.
1. WHY DO YOU LOVE ME AND WANT TO SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH ME?
This question is fundamental because the answer to it will give you real information about your partner’s social and psychological needs that they look for in a partner. If their focus is on your looks and what you can provide in the marriage – this is not a good sign.
Their answer must go deeper than that. They must love you for who you are as a person – flaws and all. When your partner sees the real you and knows you at your core, and loves you for all that you are – that’s a partner who will be a great spouse.
2. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY?
If they are in bad relations with their family, it may indicate some serious issues in your partner’s character that may emerge later in your marriage.
On the other extreme, if your partner is very close with his family may not always put your marriage first, and his family may be still a number one priority for them. Maintaining a middle ground is the best answer.
3. WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS AND ARE YOU WILLING TO COMPROMISE THEM FOR THE SAKE OF THE RELATIONSHIP?
This question can show you what priority has your relationship in your partner’s life. If they are not willing to take a step aside and align their goals with your relationship – it means that they are selfish, and their plans and needs will always come before you.
Compromise is the essential ingredient that every successful marriage contains. Having a mentality of “it’s my way or the highway” can destroy even the greatest marriage.
4. ARE YOU WILLING TO MAKE IT WORK DURING BAD TIMES?
Marriage is not all milk and honey. Even the most compatible partners will have some conflicts and differences in opinions. Having a great spouse beside you means that you enjoy together the good times, and you endure together the bad times.
When your partner doesn’t want to be involved in conflicts and doesn’t have a problem-solving mentality – they are a poor choice for a marriage partner.
5. CAN YOU KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE?
It is natural that the passion and infatuation between you will fade over time. However, having a partner who understands how important it is to keep the spark alive is amazing.
A partner, who not only understands but finds ways of keeping the romance alive is a partner who will make a great spouse.
6. ARE YOU WILLING TO GROW WITH ME AND INDEPENDENTLY?
This question is very important because it will give you information on whether your partner understands the constant work and effort that a marriage needs and whether they are familiar with the nature of intimate relationships.
In the best marriages, partners understand they have to grow together and have things they can do in pair which will bring them closer. But, they also have separate hobbies and interests aside from the marriage that keeps things interesting.
7. WHAT KIND OF A PARENT DO YOU WANT TO BE?
Learning your partner’s parenting skills early in the relationship can save you a lot of trouble in your marriage. This topic is very important for every successful marriage.
Discussing from how many kids you want to have to what would be your parenting style is something that you must agree before the marriage and before the kids come.
8. IF I DIE BEFORE YOU, WILL YOU HONOUR MY MEMORY FOREVER?
This question will tell you if your partner is able to make the most of your time that you have together. Having a partner who loves you so much that he couldn’t imagine their life without you in it is something wonderful.
When someone truly loves you they will cherish your memory after you die rather than close the book on it and move on.
Mary Wright is a professional writer with more than 10 years of incessant practice. Her topics of interest gravitate around the fields of the human mind and the interpersonal relationships of people.