Your sex life doesn’t have to end when you reach a certain age. Sex may be less frequent, but having an active sex life well into your later years is possible. Discover what redefining a healthy sex life means in the Age of the Silver Fox.
Re-Think Intimacy
As you get older, it’s important to re-think intimacy. Think about what sexual intimacy means within a relationship for both partners. Dwelling on what sex used to be like instead of adapting to experienced sexuality will prevent you from enjoying it. It’s okay if you don’t enjoy the same things or find the same turn-ons arousing. The superficial aspects of intimacy may naturally shift toward a deeper overall sexual experience.
Partners who understand how to move together have happier moods. Sex is a pleasurable activity that releases dopamine, the hormone associated with the basic reward system. It also increases levels of the cuddle hormone oxytocin, which promotes bonding, feelings of attachment, and trust. Sex also increases testosterone levels in both men and women. Younger men who have frequent sex may have a decreased risk of developing prostate cancer later in life.
Sex Gets Better With Age
Sex is both a physical and emotional expression of intimacy. With age comes experience which means sex gets better with age. Many older adults remember the amazing sexual experiences of their youth but not their inhibitions. Becoming self-aware of your body and what excites you as you age creates more self-confidence, which can spark a desire in your partner.
Older adults have more uninterrupted opportunities for sexual activity. They have no children at home and have less daily time demands, giving more time and privacy to explore. Nurturing a sexual relationship has positive impacts on emotions. Sex is a pleasurable activity associated with an increase in positive feelings. It’s also associated with fewer signs and symptoms of depression in both sexes. Sex increases feelings of attachment and lessens the feelings of loneliness, which can be a cause of health risks. Interpersonal intimacy and sex are synergistic and promote each other.
Shifting Expectations
Men need to understand that their physical functioning will change with age. Erections may become more challenging to get and they may not be as firm. As stressful and frustrating as erectile dysfunction may be, men should understand that a lack of erection isn’t a barrier to sexual pleasure. Focus on intimacy and closeness instead of performance by turning attention to foreplay and manual stimulation with your partner.
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Just Do It
Sexual desire may become less frequent with age, but don’t let that get in the way. Fake desire until you make desire. Initiating sex can spark desire, and set the pace for a more active sex life. Women normally experience decreased vaginal lubrication as they age, and having frequent sex can increase lubrication over time. The hormone oxytocin is released during orgasm which helps with sleep and gives a sense of calm and relaxation.
Making sex a habit may feel forced at first, but there are some ways to make it feel more natural. Make an effort to recreate date night and prioritize spending time together doing new things. The excitement that comes from new experiences can help you connect emotionally and spark desire. Focus on the non-sexual side of sex by re-exploring the early stages of courtship. Hug, kiss, and caress each other without the goal of sex.
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