A couple of years ago I turned the big forty (40) and all of a sudden like a ton of bricks everything came crashing down on me. I began to take inventory of my life and it quickly dawned on me how I was completely stuck in a rut.
I had been working at a dead-end job for almost seven years and every day that I went there I became more miserable. My body was completely out of shape where I was thirty pounds overweight. My finances were completely out of order and I had not been in a significant or meaningful relationship in almost six years.
When I woke up on my 40th birthday, as I lay there in bed contemplating my life I knew that if I did not do something sooner or later I would probably enter into a deep depression. As I began to ask around and talk with friends, one of them suggested I see a life coach who specializes in working with women in their forties.
To be totally honest, I dreaded the idea of talking to someone about the intimate details of my life. Even worse, I thought it was really weird to have someone who didn’t know me telling me what I should be doing with my life. But after a couple of weeks of more misery, I knew something had to be done so I finally swallowed my pride and began interviewing potential life coaches.
I finally found a woman who specifically works with women in my situation and as soon as we spoke, something inside me knew that things were going to get better. The first thing she had me do was take a complete inventory of my life. As she began asking me all these hard questions, it was so difficult for me to swallow how bad I actually let my life get.
But after going through this “purging process”, there seemed to be a bit of cathartic experience where I felt a weight be lifted off my shoulders. I feel as though because I was finally aware of everything that was causing my suffering made me feel better as if I was in more control over my life.
The biggest value my life coaching experience gave me was that I stopped playing the victim role and took responsibility for all of the choices and actions I was making. By hitting the restart button on my life, although I had to take two steps back, now I feel as though I am moving forward by leaps and bounds. Once I cleared out all of the clutter and negative emotions I had bottled up, I feel free to be and live the life I have always wanted.
It was definitely a difficult yet humbling experience having to own up and be honest with myself. But I am really glad I did it. Over the last two years, I have learned so much about myself and life and feel empowered because of it.
Ana Miller is a creative writer. Her topics of interest and expertise range from psychology to all sorts of disciplines such as science and news.
