I’m sick and tired of living in a society that doesn’t know how to express a pure emotion.
We all deserve to experience the feeling of true love. We all deserve to be loved, you know?
Every single one of us deserves to feel wanted, respected, needed and treasured.
We all deserve to find that special person in life and give ourselves completely. We deserve to feel free to open our hearts to the possibility of love, instead of feeling terrified that some inconsiderate asshole might break our heart into million pieces and leave us hopeless.
We all deserve love as soft as rose petals, but at the same time as strong as steel.
We all deserve someone who will think of us. All day, every day… Until eternity.
We all deserve to be in the arms of a person who will hold us and caress our head while we’re at our most vulnerable state. Someone who will hug us and kiss our forehead until we fall asleep. Someone who will look at us while we sleep and feel at peace by simply laying next to us.
We all deserve to be loved with all intensity, and we all deserve to experience love through all its glorious dimensions.
We all deserve to know how others truly feel about us. None of those ‘modern-dating’, ‘hard-to-get’ games people are playing these days.
We all deserve to be with someone who will challenge us and help us overcome the dangerous obstacles along the way.
We all deserve a person who will stand right next to us, hold our hand and fight against everything that terrifies and threatens us.
We all deserve someone who will be brave for us when we don’t have the strength to pick ourselves up and move on. Someone who will find all the missing pieces of our heart, glue them up together and make us believe in love once again.
We all deserve the kind of love that will welcome all our emotional baggage, help us with the heavy load, alleviate us and grow us the pair of wings we desperately needed. We all deserve the kind of love that will push us forward, not put us down.
We all deserve that stupid, crazy, magical, mad, passionate, wild, all-consuming, deep, ‘they-give-me-butterflies kind of love. We deserve to be happy. And we deserve to be with someone who will make us feel special. Like maybe we’re magic.
We all deserve a person’s full attention. We all deserve someone who will really see our true beauty inside our hearts and accept us for who we are. Someone who will make us their first choice. Their best bud. Their family. Their soulmate. Their whole world. Their future. Their eternity.
Life has never been a smooth journey. There’s not a single person who has been at least 30 years on the crazy journey called life that will ever tell you that it gets easier. Because it doesn’t.
And I know that it’s easier to believe that life is all sunshine and rainbows and live inside our own bubbles than accept and face the truth that life is not a fairytale or a Hollywood movie with a happy ending.
We’re bombarded with all those successful life stories that usually begin with some person who had a dream, then worked hard to achieve it, and voila, there they are – celebrating their success and giving us advice about how to live life to the fullest.
But, how come these “happy, successful, and inspiring” people almost never mention the bad parts: the mistakes, the failures, the disappointment, the heartbreaks, the problems, the losses?
Because that’s the truth – life doesn’t always go according to plan. No matter how sure we are that we’re in control over our lives, the universe somehow always finds a way to remind us that life is full of brutal truths. Yeah, life can really suck sometimes.
But no matter how harsh these truths may appear, you should never ignore them because it’s only through accepting them that you’ll be able to take full responsibility for your life.
Here are 8 harsh truths that will help you get your sh*t together:
1. Life has no meaning without goals.
If you don’t have concrete goals and passions to pursue, your whole existence becomes pointless. We’re all running after something, be that a career, or finding the love of our life, or broadening our knowledge of the world, or improving ourselves, both personally and professionally.
You need to understand that it’s living your life with a purpose and knowing exactly where you’re headed that give you peace of mind and make you feel like a whole, complete person.
2. What others think about you is none of your business.
Worrying about what other people think and say about you is not only a complete waste of time but it’s ridiculous too. The thing is, no matter how good you are to people, there always be those who will say bad things about you, try to put you down, and even tarnish your reputation.
You have no responsibility to live up to other people’s expectations, always please them, and seek their validation. You’re the master of your own life and it is you who determines the course of your life.
What you need to remember is that other people’s opinions of you don’t and can’t determine your self-worth.
3. No one lives forever.
This one is probably the harshest truth of all and you might hate me for telling you this, but that’s the reality. Everyone you know, including you, will eventually die. No one can change this.
So, make sure you spend enough quality time with and appreciate your loved ones while you have them. Hug and kiss them and show them how much you love them.
4. You can’t control everything.
While you can change and improve some things about your life that you’re not satisfied with, you need to always bear in mind that you can’t control everything in life. Those who believe they can control every segment of their life always end up feeling anxious, disappointed, or angry, and they even blame themselves when they experience failure.
We all gain weight, fall ill, fail, go through heartbreaks and losses – you simply can’t control things like these. So, instead of trying to control what is impossible to control, focus your time and energy on things you actually can.
5. Failure is inevitable.
It’s true that failure makes us feel bad about ourselves and shakes our confidence, but it’s also an inseparable part of our lives. We’re all on the journey to finding our happiness and success, but no one can reach the final destination without experiencing failure.
Thus, sooner or later in life, you’ll make mistakes and terrible decisions, you’ll make a fool of yourself, and kiss a couple of wrong guys or girls. But, what you need to understand is that failure is not fatal. Oftentimes, it’s failure that provides you with the most valuable lessons about life.
If you don’t fail, you’ll never know how to pick yourself back up and find the strength and willingness to move on and continue firmly paving the road to your happiness and success.
6. What you own doesn’t add value to you as a person.
You could own the biggest and most beautiful house in the world, have luxurious cars, and accumulate tons of money, but the truth is, material things don’t define you as a person. If you’re a terrible, lying, dishonest, human being, no one is going to like and appreciate you anyway.
So, instead of running after possessions and money, focus more on gaining meaningful, rewarding experiences, creating harmonious, deep relationships with other people, and doing things which can make you a better person and which can provide you with genuine happiness and give you a sense of fulfillment.
7. Thinking is not the same thing as doing.
Daydreaming feels great, but it’s useless if it’s not followed by actions. So, if you want to be a writer, start writing. If you want to be an artist, start painting.
You may have great plans for your future, but if you don’t act on them, they’re just futile plans. You can’t just lay back, do nothing and expect some miracle to drop success in front of your door, or bring you the love of your life, or get you the career you’ve always wanted to have.
8. Worrying is useless.
Worrying won’t change the fact that things won’t always happen like we want and expect and that we’ll make mistakes and bad decisions, have problems, and fail. Whether a problem can be fixed or not, worrying about it won’t help you accomplish anything. In fact, it can only make things worse than they are and cause you to feel stressed out and helpless.
So, instead of worrying about what tomorrow will bring and what the potential future outcome of your decisions and actions might be, try to live in and enjoy the present moment and focus on the things that truly matter in life.
We’re nothing but perfect imperfections who desperately try to coexist and survive on the same planet. We’re all flawed. We’re different. We’re peculiar. We’re weird.
So, it is only natural for us humans to not be 100% compatible with every person in our lives. As a result, it is even more natural for us to want to somehow change the behavior we dislike in our loved ones.
But, this is where it gets tricky.
In an attempt to make things better and point out the flaws in our partners, oftentimes, we lose ourselves and end up complaining, shaming, and even blaming them. And once we realize that pointing fingers is not an effective, nor a clever solution, we immediately regret our actions.
I can’t help but wonder… why do so many people think that a direct attack on someone’s persona is exactly what it takes for them to change?
Our patterns and systems are terribly hostile. Fortunately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on this topic lately, and it is my great pleasure to share some of my thoughts with you guys.
So, here are 3 simple methods that can help you rethink your steps, get rid of your destructive patterns and improve your relationship:
1. SEARCH FOR THE POSITIVE INTENTION
Instead of pointing out the flaws in my partner and making him feel bad by putting the blame on him, I slowly started changing my perspective. I simply challenged myself to look beyond his behavior and find the positive reason behind his irritating actions.
I said to myself… “What if I actually dug deeper and tried to understand his way of thinking?” What if I actually started showing more kindness and love, instead of judging him and blaming him for his behavior?
And so, I did it. I learned that the only thing that really helps is being more accepting and supportive of the people we love. No matter how annoyed we are or how irrigated their actions make us, we have to find a way to understand their true reasons for their actions, and then help them work on themselves for as long as they need.
2. FIND OUT WHAT IT IS THAT YOU REALLY WANT
The next step is obvious. If you finally realized that searching for the positive intention behind your partner’s actions, instead of blaming them is a great way to let go of the blame-shame pattern, then now you have to do the same for yourself.
What it is that you really want to change in your partner? If they somehow changed and transformed themselves into the person you wanted them to be, what would they have that they don’t have now?
I have to admit, this one was more difficult for me. But, once I stopped putting the blame on my partner for not giving me what I wanted, I realized one important thing.
How others treat us, depends solely on how we treat others.
If I wanted to be more intimate, accepted, loved and appreciated by my partner, I first had to change my behavior. I realized that I had put myself out there and give him everything he needs. Because you know what they say, it always takes two to tango.
After a few months, I was surprised at how changed my partner was. He was more loving, more passionate and more considerate than before. My change in behavior had successfully triggered him and made him more loving.
3. PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES
Let’s be real. We all get judgmental from time to time. It is a completely natural thing. We have one opinion; our partners have another. We follow a certain type of methods, they tend to develop their own strategies. Occasionally, that often leads to a disagreement.
And the worst thing, we humans often do is fall right into a feeling of superiority.
The second we realize that our strategy is much more effective than our partners, our ego takes over and we let the feeling of self-righteousness take total control of us.
At such times, it is essential to put a stop at all the judgments, guilt trips and egoistic behaviors and put ourselves in their shoes for a while. After all, we’re just human beings who are in need of love and connection.
It takes a strong will and a lot of practice to get rid of those hurtful patterns, but once you learn these simple methods, your bond with your loved ones will immediately strengthen and your relationship will improve.
Traveling is one of the best experiences you can share with your pet. Most pets love to go on adventures and explore new sights, sounds, and smell. And they love it more when they can share it with their beloved humans. You don’t hesitate to take your four-legged best friend to go hiking or camping with you.
What are you waiting for? Pack your and your pet’s travel essentials, and start your car. Before you hit the road, though, you should get your pet comfortable during the long car ride to lessen their anxiety and increase their excitement for the coming adventure. Here’s how you can do that.
Get Your Pet Accustomed to Being in the Car
If your four-legged isn’t used to traveling by car yet, you need to get them accustomed to it first before the big day. Take them with you when you run errands, go to the grocery store, and pick up your laundry. Go on short drives with them to visit the park or a nearby pet-friendly place.
Going to fun places by car will help them associate car trip as pleasant experiences. Positive reinforcements can also do a lot to make them get accustomed to (and even like) being in the car.
Bring Lots of Treats and Toys
Speaking of positive reinforcements, treats and toys are two things you absolutely need to make your beloved pet comfortable and entertained through the long car ride.
You four-legged best friend can get bored too after being confined in a small, cramped space for hours. They need something to help them past the time. If you don’t want a wet snout distracting you from the road, you need to pack the most interesting and stimulating toys for your pet.
During a road trip, your pet is bound to encounter many unfamiliar sights, sounds, and smells, and unfamiliarity can make them feel insecure and anxious. Letting them play with their favorite toys can help them relax and calm down. Giving them delicious treats during the encounter will also help create a positive association with the stimulus.
Prep Your Vehicle
You want your four-legged best friend to be comfortable during the long road trip, but that shouldn’t come at the cost of a ruined car. Prep your car for the long haul and accompanied chaos of bringing a pet by installing several protective measures.
Cover your car floor with sturdy weathertech mats to shield it from the dirt, mud, and stains your beloved pet is sure to bring in. Use a waterproof and dirtproof car seat cover from your pet’s dusty fur, dirty paws, and constant shedding and slobber.
Make sure to get one made of tough materials in case your pet starts scratching or digging on the seat. Choose a cover with holes to access the seat belts, so you can strap in your pet when it’s necessary.
Some pets love to hang their head outside the car windows to feel the wind and take in all the new smells. Unfortunately, this usually results in a lot of slobber getting on the windows. To prevent this, you can cover your car windows with cling wrap before you leave. You can easily remove the wrap later and replace it with a new cover.
Take Scheduled Breaks
As mentioned earlier, pets can get bored when they can’t move around for a certain period of time. Being stuck in place for long hours (or even minutes) means they can’t use up their energy, so they start getting restless—chewing on the seat, barking up a storm, interrupting you when you’re driving, or trying to jump out of the window.
Toys won’t help when they’ve reached this level of boredom and restless. The only thing that will help is taking them out of the car to stretch their legs (and yours too). The number of breaks you should take depends on your pet’s energy levels and the length of your journey.
If you have a high-energy pet, breaks should be more frequent, like every 30 to 45. For the rest, it should be safe to stop and take a break every hour or so. The quality of the breaks also matters. If you just stand around with your pet on a leash, that won’t help them release their energy and alleviate boredom. Stop nearby a place where it’s safe to take your buddy for a walk and several rounds of fetch.
Sometimes, it’s not about boredom. Maybe your pet needs to pee or do their business. Pay attention for signs that your pet needs to use the toilet if you don’t want them to have an accident inside the car.
Pack All the Pet Essentials
Pack everything your pet needs to sustain them through the long trip. Bring lots of food and drinking water, as well as spillproof bowls to minimize the mess during meal times. After a playing with toys and barking at random pedestrians, your pet may want to settle down and have a nap. Remember to bring comfortable bedding for them. And don’t forget to pack your buddy’s favorite blanket too.
You should be prepared for all kinds of situations and emergencies. Bring a portable grooming kit and pet first aid for you buddy. Pack your pet’s health certificates and identification papers in case you need to present them when you visit a place.
Bring a collar or harness, a leash, and pet travel gear (e.g., booties, a sweater, a raincoat, car seat harness, etc.) to keep your best friend safe on your adventures. Finally, keep a bottle of pet-friendly insect repellent and sunblock to protect your buddy from pesky bugs and harmful UV rays.
Let Your Pet Wear a GPS Tracker
This is more for your pet’s safety (and your peace of mind) than for their comfort, but many unexpected things can happen when you travel, especially to a foreign place. Your pet could get separated from you and get lost. Microchipping can help identify a pet and their owner if someone picks them up, but it won’t help find a lost pet.
The best thing you can do to keep track of your pet’s location at all times is to attach a pet GPS tracker on their collar. You can install the app on your phone and monitor your pet’s coordinates on the map shown.
But you shouldn’t put your pet’s safety in the hands of a device that can be broken or lost. Watch over your buddy closely. If they’re not well-trained enough, keep them on a leash when you go out.
Have a Fun and Safe Trip!
Traveling with a pet requires planning and preparation, but first, you have to get your beloved pet used to being inside the car. And eventually, make them comfortable on long car trips. Fortunately, pets can be trained to create a positive association with car rides with the help of treats, toys, and lots of fun experiences. As soon as your buddy willingly jumps into the car, you can pack your bags and pet essentials and embark on a road trip adventure.
A “personal essay” is a piece of writing on a particular topic from a personal point of view. The author often fuses their personal experiences into the piece. Essays can also be very autobiographical and written in a conversational manner. If you’re working on a personal essay, here’s a basic guide to how you should approach this piece of writing.
Before you begin
When choosing a topic, it needs to be compelling. The best essay topics are very relatable. Although the story itself may be unique to the author’s experience, it contains some universal truth which speaks to everyone. Topics can include facing a fear, falling in love, overcoming an obstacle, discovering something new, or making a difficult choice — all of these things tackle feelings and events that happen in everyone’s life.
Once you have a topic in mind, it helps to make an outline before you start writing. Writing about personal experiences can be a challenge for most, and sometimes the sequence of events can be off or incorrect. Preparing an outline for the body text is a helpful way ensure that everything which needs to be covered is taken care of.
Writing the essay
By now, you should everything you need to begin writing. Start your personal essay with a strong introductory paragraph. It is very important to draw the reader in during the first few sentences.
Whatever your topic is, you will need to narrow the focus during the essay. The best way to do so is to illustrate it through the lens of a defining incident that is deeply personal to you. Your description should make the reader experience what you experienced.
Your essay should end with your own reflection and analysis. What did you learn? How have the events and thoughts you described changed your life or your understanding of life? It’s not enough to say “and that’s what happened” and end the piece. You have to describe how whatever happened has shaped you.
If writing isn’t your thing, you can always hire a essay writing service. Choosing to hire freelance writers who are skilled experts at their craft may be the perfect option. However, not all services are created equal. You have to be very careful about which service you chose. Pay attention to stats like their originality, quality, and delivery. Also, making sure they have writers who are familiar with American vernacular is important as well. Writers from different countries may be working with language barriers which will not translate well.
Why personal essays still stand firm
Personal essays relate the author’s intimate thoughts and experiences to universal truths. They aren’t simply a retelling of events, though — that falls more in the realm of memoir or autobiography. They conclude with the author having learned, changed, or grown in some way. And they often present some truth or insight that challenges the reader to draw their own conclusions. And they’re still very popular, so don’t feel discouraged about writing them.
Essay collections by late greats like James Baldwin (The Fire Next Time) and David Foster Wallace (Consider the Lobster) still top Amazon’s Best Sellers in essays. Jenny Lawson launched a career with her darkly funny and self-effacing essays about her health and mental illness challenges (Let’s Pretend This Never Happened). Celebrities like Mindy Kaling (Why Not Me?) and Tina Fey (Bossypants) blended personal essays into memoir-esque collections that became best sellers.
Everyone has a story to tell and a message to share. The challenge lies in getting that story and message out of your head and into print in a way that resonates with your audience.
Have you ever been so deeply, madly, and naively in love that you thought you found your forever person? Have you ever loved someone so intensely and passionately that you thought you’d never love anyone that way again? Well, that’s exactly what happened to me.
But, I believe you already guessed that my love story didn’t have the “…and they lived happily ever after” end.
After we broke up, I was nothing like the person I was before he entered my life. Happiness was just an abstract term to me. I was awash with disappointment, sadness, anger, and loneliness.
For a long time, I wondered if I would be able to find the purpose of my life again. I wondered if I would ever be the woman I used to be.
I wondered if I would be able to love and be happy again.
And you know, I wasn’t always like this. I was one of those women who were happy and found joy in every little thing around them. I was one of those who lived life to the fullest and who were grateful for everything they had in life.
But, dating a narcissistic man changed me. From a person who saw the world as bright and colorful, I became a person who saw nothing else but sadness and grey everywhere around me. My happiness was replaced with depression.
He made me look like just a pale image of the person I once was. He turned my dreams and desires into fears. Fears that I was weak, unworthy, and incapable to pursue my goals and passions.
He made me doubt myself and my worth.
For a long time, I was beating myself for letting him change me. I was ashamed of the person he turned me into and I was ashamed of being a fool.
Although I never admitted it to myself, deep down I knew this man was beyond repair. And still I stayed with him and allowed myself to be tortured. And the more I let him torture me, the more difficult it became for me to leave him and the more I felt unimportant and weak.
I know what you’re thinking now. You think I was too naïve and stupid for allowing him to treat me that way and for staying with him.
But, I trusted him.
I believed he felt the same what I felt for him. There’s a saying love is blind and I know this the best.
Because my love for him prevented me from seeing the cruel truth that was staring me right in the face – the truth that he used all kinds of tricks, little mind games, and manipulation tactics to make me fall in love with him more and more with each new day.
I didn’t see that he had in store thousands of masks behind which he hid his true colors so as to make me believe he deserved my trust and love.
He was the best manipulator, the best actor and I fell for his games.
I believed his words and promises. And I patiently waited for him to fulfill them, but as you can guess, he never did that. He’d just break my soul again and again.
I believed him because he made me feel safe and protected.
He made me feel like I could always count on him for whatever I needed. He acted like he was my greatest help and cheerleader. He promised to protect me from anyone and anything.
But, what I did not know was that this was just one more of his brilliant tactics he used to win my trust and make me let my guard down. And once I broke all the walls I kept around me, it was easier for him to control and play with me in whatever way he wanted.
But my only fault was that I truly loved him.
I loved him deeply and selflessly. I gave my heart, mind, and body to a man who was incapable of loving anyone but himself. A man who instead of doing his best to make me feel loved, he did his best to keep me under his control and play with my feelings.
I believed that my love for him would change him and he’d begin to see me the way I saw him – with eyes beaming with happiness and heart beating wildly.
I thought I was powerful enough to soften his crude heart. But I wasn’t. You can’t teach the man who doesn’t have the slightest idea of what true, unconditional love means love. He simply doesn’t have it in himself.
I let him shake my confidence and blame me for all his problems. I let him make me think I didn’t deserve to be loved. I lost myself to him.
But, I found myself again.
I picked myself up and dusted myself of the hell he put me through. I never stopped searching for my former self. I fought with every fiber of my being to patch every hole of my soul. I couldn’t allow myself to stay a wreck for the rest of my life.
I thought I’d never be able to collect the broken pieces of my heart, but I was wrong. I put my heart together and healed my wounds.
I realized it wasn’t me who wasn’t good enough and worthy of love – it was him. Loving him was like throwing all my love into an abyss.
And today I’m not only the person I used to be once, but I’m stronger and wiser as well.
Let’s be honest. Of course, my ideal man would be a perfect balance between a clingy and a distant guy.
But, if I really have to make a choice between a clingy man and a distant one, I’d totally end up madly in love with the clingy.
Because you see… I am a woman who will always choose love and affection before everything else. I could never settle for a distant, aloof and indifferent partner mostly because that is not the way I express my emotions.
Those who know me, know that I am a wild, intense and passionate woman. When it comes to love, I love from the very bottom of my heart. I put my soul in it. I could never ever pretend to be the opposite of what I truly am.
In other words, I am an open door. I am emotionally open, and I believe that love should have no limits. It should never be repressed or compromised.
That is why, if I have to make the choice between an overly attached partner and a distant one, I would always go for the first one.
I know that a clingy, over-attached person can sometimes be difficult to love and handle.
But, I simply cannot allow myself to waste any more time on someone who makes me wonder whether they like me or not, forces me to overthink their behavior, or doesn’t even bother to show his real emotions.
I will take a clingy over a distant one any day. I will rather be with someone who showers me with his affection 24hours a day, then be with a man who constantly makes me rethink everything he says and every move he makes.
It’s simple. I need someone who will make me a priority. Someone who won’t be afraid to put me first. A man who will always be there for me, especially when life gets difficult to handle. Someone who will be my best friend and stick with me through thick and thin. A man who won’t let anything tear us apart. Someone who would protect our love and fight for it. Someone who would be completely open with me.
I need a keeper. Not a man who would make me totally insecure and confused around him.
I don’t want to second-guess things. I don’t want to question everything. I don’t want to force someone to love me. I don’t want to play games.
I just want to be chosen. I want a man who will love me and choose me every single day all over again.
Dating a narcissist is the worst kind of relationship one can ever have. Things never end well. And the reason is simple – narcissists are incapable of building healthy, meaningful, harmonious relationships.
No matter how much effort you put in the relationship and no matter how hard you try to reach the heart of a narcissist, you’ll never get him to love another person than himself. When you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic guy, you get used to always being treated like an option and never a priority.
You’re dating someone who only gives you crumbs of attention and always puts his needs and desires before yours.
You’re in a relationship in which your only role is to boost your guy’s ego because he has a self-inflated image of himself. He believes he’s smarter and better than you and treats you like his inferior. As a result, you lose your sense of self-worth and self-respect.
You feel there’s something wrong about the relationship, and still, you don’t do anything about it. You stay in the relationship for an unusually long time due to the false sense of security it gives you and the fear of being alone. You’d rather settle for this kind of guys and endure emotional pain than solitude.
When you finally find the courage to break free from the relationship, you’re faced with another obstacle. You meet a guy who’s nice to you and treats you with love and respect, but you find it very hard to trust and give in.
This guy will be a total opposite to your narcissistic a**hole of an ex and here are 7 things you can expect from him:
1. He’ll know your worth.
Your narcissistic partner made you feel bad about yourself and doubt all your decisions and choices.
But, this person will believe in you. He won’t doubt your mental abilities and strength. He’ll always cheer you on because he believes you can achieve anything you set your mind to. This guy will help you regain your confidence and face whatever life throws your way head on.
2. He’ll do his best to win your trust.
In your last relationship, you were blamed for all the problems you had. When he yelled at and insulted you, that was because you were always “too emotional” and “too clingy.” When he flirted with other women (or maybe even cheated on you), that was because you weren’t paying him enough attention.
You couldn’t trust his words because you caught him lying to you many times and he never bothered to keep his promises.
But, this guy will be honest and patient with you. He’ll wait for as long as it takes you to get rid of the stress and negative feelings from your last relationship and start to trust him. He’ll show through his actions that he deserves to put your faith in him.
3. He’ll treat you like you deserve.
You might feel weird to see that there’s a guy like this one. Unlike your selfish, conceited, and detached narcissistic ex, this guy will go out of his way to make you feel happy and show how important you’re to him.
He’ll be compassionate and kind to you. He’ll treat you with respect and dignity because he knows this is the only way you deserve to be treated. This guy will make you feel good about yourself, but most importantly, he’ll let you know how much he loves and appreciates you.
4. He’ll pay attention to what you have to say.
In your last relationship, your opinions and ideas were never heard. Your narcissistic ex made you feel like whatever you said was irrelevant and wrong. But this guy will show interest in your opinions, desires, and dreams because he wants to know everything about you, including your past.
Most importantly, you’ll feel free and comfortable to share with him all your ideas, opinions, plans, and problems as well without being afraid that he might judge and criticize you.
5. He won’t be ashamed to apologize.
In your last relationship, you were used to having angry fights and screaming. And oftentimes, in order to avoid this, you apologized even for things that weren’t your fault.
However, with this guy, it’ll be different. Of course, you’ll have fights, all couples fight. But, you won’t be the one who will always take the blame for whatever goes wrong in the relationship.
If he’s wrong, he’ll admit it and won’t feel ashamed to say: “I’m sorry, honey, I was wrong.” This guy knows that taking responsibility for one’s mistakes and wrongdoings is a requirement for a healthy, successful relationship.
6. He won’t manipulate you.
In your last relationship, you had to walk on eggshells fearing you might say or do something that could make your narcissistic boyfriend lose his temper and take his anger out on you.
However, in this relationship, you’ll feel safe and comfortable to speak your mind about anything you want. You won’t have to keep your problems to yourself and if he does something that really bothers you or even hurts your feelings, you’ll feel free to talk to him about that.
He’ll never ignore or gaslight you or blame you for things that are not your fault. Instead, he’ll always be honest and discuss all problems with you like a mature, responsible grownup.
7. He’ll show you what true love feels like.
He’ll show you that love doesn’t have to be demeaning, hard, and painful. Instead, he’ll teach you that true love is about: caring about and respecting someone; treating someone with kindness, affection, compassion, and dignity; truly wishing the best for someone and trying the hardest you can to make them feel happy and emotionally fulfilled.
He’ll show you that genuine, deep, once-in-a-lifetime love is when you look at each other’s eyes and both of you feel like home.
Physical abuse is usually right there where you can see it. We not only have the power, but we also have a responsibility to try and stop it, do everything in our power to help the person in need, turn the abuser in and blow the lid off the whole unfortunate situation.
The real danger lies in the silent abuse. The one that sometimes even the victims themselves fail to notice it. You see, emotional abuse is a quiet and frightening guest in the night. It slowly creeps in by manipulating you until it takes total control of you and drives you over the edge.
Here are 8 subtle, yet real signs that your partner might be emotionally abusing you:
1. HE OFTEN SUGGESTS YOU CANCEL EVERY PLAN WITH YOUR LOVED ONES AND BE WITH HIM
There’s a certain amount of jealousy that every relationship needs. It is perfectly natural to be jealous and mad when there’s a pretty good reason for it. But, when a man starts exhibiting signs of extreme jealousy, or in other words, he requires you to cancel everything and abandon everyone just, so you could be with him, that is the first sign of emotional abuse, right there.
2. HE GETS MAD WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS
A potential abuser will do everything in his power to cut you off your support system and make you as vulnerable as possible. One of his powerful methods usually involves making you guilty of sharing private information about your relationship to other people.
3. HE CALLS HIS CRAZY OBSESSION ‘LOVE’
He’s extremely possessive of you and controls everything you do, but somehow, he keeps referring to this crazy possessive behavior as his own way of loving you.
4. HE ALWAYS BLAMES YOU FOR EVERYTHING
Beware. One of the most frightening signs of being emotionally abused is being constantly blamed for everything. A master manipulator will do everything to set you up and make you feel bad, even if you’ve done nothing wrong.
5. HE CRITICIZES YOU AND REMINDS YOU OF YOUR MISTAKES
We are human beings. We make mistakes, but at the end of the day we always forgive each other and try to leave everything behind us. But, when a partner starts making you feel bad by shoving your mistakes in your face and pointing out how big of a failure you are, it’s time to go code red. That behavior is not a normal, loving behavior. It is time to accept the truth. You are being emotionally abused.
6. HE BOLDLY COMPARES YOU TO OTHER WOMEN
And everyone else around you. The mocking seems to never stop. Everything you do, no matter how hard you try, somehow, you’re never enough. There’s always someone smarter, more beautiful, kinder, more interesting and better than you.
7. HE PUTS YOU DOWN IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It’s not enough that he constantly humiliates you by comparing you to other women, but he also puts you down in front of other people. The bigger his claws, the desperate his need to rob you of your last bits of confidence and make you a nobody.
8. HE TERRIBLY UNPREDICTABLE AND MOODY
There’s one way to check if you’re stuck with a partner who emotionally abuses you. If this person is terribly moody and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him, it is clear – you are a victim of his twisted games. If you feel threatened every time he raises his voice, it is obvious. You are experiencing an emotional abuse.
If you are someone who has a very busy, overthinking mind, you probably care too much about what other people think or say about you. Overthinkers have a loud brain that forces them to over analyze everything around them.
But, these people have usually one more thing that makes it even harder for them to handle life challenges.
Their sensitive, fragile heart.
And when a loud mind is combined with a soft, vulnerable heart it, well, we all know what happens.
These peculiar, but incredible human beings like to believe that the world is indeed black and white. There’s no gray area for them. They could never endure the pressure of uncertainty, especially when it comes to love. Overthinkers could never ‘hang out’ without giving themselves in entirely.
They never pretend. They cannot hide their emotions and pretend they’re indifferent. They either love or they hate. There are no ‘in-between’ feelings, only profound, genuine emotions.
Overthinkers are people who have a hard time balancing between being on their own and exposing themselves to the world. They tend to struggle to be around people and be generally present in every moment. Because the more people around them, the more chaotic their thoughts become.
Socializing with other human beings can easily overwhelm these sensitive creatures, therefore the only way they can fully function is if they isolate themselves from everything and everyone that is disturbing their peace.
However, the one thing that troubles these people the most is their eternal crave for love. Some of you would probably say, “But how is that a wrong thing?”.
You see, overthinkers have a fragile and sensitive heart. The mere thought of someone destroying their fragile heart into million tiny pieces terrifies them beyond words. So, as a result, most of these creatures condemn themselves to a life without love simply because they are too afraid to put themselves out there and embrace the risk of falling in love.
Overthinkers live to find the true meaning behind everything that surrounds them. The reason for their existence, the reason for their pain, their happiness, the way others treat them. Even if sometimes, some of the questions don’t even deserve an answer.
It is in their blood. It’s just the way they are.
At the end of the day, they might be the most difficult people to love, but the thing that makes them extraordinary and peculiar is their own, unique way of functioning. Their minds are known as busy and chaotic, but it is their differences, their emotional intelligence and pure soul that makes them the most honest and genuine human beings on this planet.
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