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Here Are 7 Tips Your Feedback To A Conflict Be An Effective One

The main reason for almost all break-ups or broken relationships of any kind is missed feedback. Say you are about to face a potential conflict because you and the person you are talking to are not on the same page, you continuously misunderstood each other and what do you do, how do you proceed?

                Since this is a very important question, there a lot of books and articles, suggesting the answer and some say the sooner you tell the truth how you feel about the whole situation, the better, this applied to all sorts of conflicts, whether they are professional or private.

But is this always the right way to work out a conflict? Sincerely, most of the times – it is not! Why? Because people do not want to hear the truth about themselves, especially from others, and because sometimes we have a whole lot more to lose if we speak the truth, then to find some other way to make peace with the other.

Thought one should always know that speaking the truth is good and moral, but never forget that this truth you speak is only “your truth”, only your side of the story.

Many times, since we do not understand that there are many truths, our feedback to the situation resembles a lot more as a harsh criticism and this very seldom brings solution to the problem.

People do not like to be criticized and as a very wise writer and the developer of self-development course, Dale Carnegie, said: “Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn— and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” 

So now the question remaining is how to switch you feedback that resembles like criticism, to a feedback that gives positive effects and leads to good solution? You can try using these 7 steps:

1. Create a neutral space 

if you like to be heard and still stay friends with the person you are in a momentary conflict, you must calm yourself and try to show the other that your feedback to their statement is not ill-willed and you have their best interest at heart, not just yours.

2. Ask for permission

Before introducing your feedback to the other person, you must be sure that they are willing to hear it. Never argue with one who doesn’t want to listen, that is a one-way conversation. But if you do recognize that the other wants the relationship to survive you should say how much you appreciate them and you too want this to work out.

3. Start the feedback with: ”I thought I heard”

Doing this you show that you didn’t assume anything and you respected them enough to ask again if they meant what you thought they did. You should never assume anything, because one of the main reasons the quarrel is started is because of making hasty assumptions. In our speech most of the time we are driven by our own emotions and if we are angry we hear things that feed our anger, if we are in-love we hear only the good stuff.

4. Describe how their words made you feel

Always describe how you felt when the words were spoken and most important never begin the sentence with – “you made me feel this or that way”, always say – ”I felt this or that”. If you try to reconcile, do not put oil into the fire. Also do not mix to the present conflict any past experiences, because you should remember that as much as this situation resembles to a past one, they are separate problems arisen in different times and circumstances.

5. Know how to listen 

After you have given your feedback, it is time to start to listen. This means that you should really listen, do not interrupt, do not defend yourself, just listen the other side of the story. Doing this the other will know that you are trying to find a solution good for both of you and you respect what he has to say.

6. Suggest solutions

Now after carefully listening, the time has come to speak, softly, how you wish to be treated in the future so none of this could happen ever again. Here you can also add some good and positive pointer what both of you should avoid doing, so that there will be no next time for such a conflict.

7. End in a positive way

Thank the other for the chance to speak your side of the story, give acknowledgement that you took their side of the story into consideration, and be grateful that all has ended well.

I hope this few steps shall help you to resolve most of your conflict in a way that no negative consequences shall arise for you or the others.

These 9 Toxic Thoughts That Can Destroy Your Relationship

As convinced one may be, relationships do not go bad overnight. There are always subtle, very destructive behavioral patterns that slowly erode the love between the partners and sometimes do irreversible damage. Because all of our behavioral patterns are direct result of our thoughts, thus negative and toxic thoughts result in negative behavior that eventually turns our luck into tears.

Here are 9 toxic thoughts and theirs correspondent attitudes and behavior that can severely damage the happiness for both partners beyond the point of turning back.

Remember, for a relationship takes two, but for a disaster it takes only one. I hope these thoughts will help you understand what not to think, if you do what things to work out for the best.

1. “Always or never” 

This is when you think of your partner as always being the one massing things up, or he never does anything right. If you want to be with someone, try not to be so judgmental, because you too might make a mistake once in a while, but that doesn’t mean that till the end of the time you’ll do it wrong. So speak to each other and organize the chores better, by your own capabilities, this way you will know who is capable of what.

2. Mind reading and overactive imagination

This happens when you turn into a mind reader that assume always to know the answers, and more importantly always to be right about it, no matter what the facts says. This definitely kills the patience of the other to explain what actually has happened and the relationship too. So, instead of playing psychic you should actually start listening and paying attention to the facts, not to your imagination.

3. Expecting your partner to be a mind reader

This is the other extreme, when you don’t say anything, but assume that your partner is a gifted mind reader and shall know every wish of yours. This, truthfully, never happens and you start a fight just because you didn’t bother to speak out any word, but did assume that your partner already knows it. Try speaking out or showing him what to do, it will bring better results then to wait for a magical moment of your partners enlightenment.

4. Criticism and labeling names

This is bigger than just blaming the other, but it means that you have already made a strong opinion about your partners personality and ability. This is the point in the relationship when instead of trying to fix things, you start labeling each other and mostly with no good names. This never brings solution, just bigger frustration.

5. Unrealistic expectations

It is very normal to get into a relationship with some expectations, usually a good ones, but in due time one of the partners could evolve into being overly demanding. This happens when one of you starts putting unrealistic expectations on your wish list. This could easily be a mind game, a sort of subtle manipulation for the other partner to take all the responsibility.

6. “Control freak” due to catastrophic conclusions

These are the thoughts when we constantly think that our partner will never, ever do something right and everything will go down the drain. With such an attitude all negative events, no matter how small, are being so exaggerated that we take the total control over every decision in the relationship and we don’t even let our partner do anything by him/herself.

7. “The cat and mouse” game

This is very tricky mind game when you start assuming what would your partner do and try to beat him ahead. But because most of these assumptions are not realistic we end up doing the same negative thing, we try to prevent! And before you end up alone and miserable by your own doings, please do check if your thoughts and fears have realistic foundations.

8. Comparison

You should never compare your partner with your former ones, or with the ones your friends have. This is one of the main reason we start making assumptions at all! Remember, everyone is different and has his own good and bad sides, you never know what is inside your partner’s heart if you don’t speak and listen to him. So don’t compare him/her until you know what he/she is truly like.

9. “Stonewalling”

“stonewalling” is when you start creating defensive thoughts, in advance, that lead to overly protective attitude, so you don’t get hurt. Don’t do this, don’t project your former fears and experiences into the new relationship. Leave the past to the past, if you put a wall around you might be safe from the pain, but you’ll turn down the happiness too.

Word of advice – if the relationship is worth saving, change your thoughts and you’ll change yourself, but if you are really unhappy change the relationship.

5 Reasons Why You Should Make Meditation Into Daily Practice

Be your best Self and you‘ll create your best Life

There is an old Zen saying that goes like this: “You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you are too busy, then you should sit for an hour.” This is a great Wisdom that we should have into consideration if we want to be happier, healthier and peaceful.

Usually when people hear the word meditation they automatically think of solitary living, ascetic life or just sitting in one spot, doing nothing and immensely trying not to think, or they just see the whole practice as total waste of time.

But, when one starts exploring what actually meditation is, one sees very clearly that it is not relaxing, nor pretending to be peaceful in your appearance while inside you are timed bomb.

Meditation is training the mind to help it find strength and skills it needs to solve daily problems! Meaning meditation is done by being fully alert of everything inside and outside of us.

And in the process of meditation you don’t have to take anything from anyone else, you don’t break anyone’s free-will, you just re-gain your own perfect divine characteristics that you forgot you have.

And here are 5 of these beautiful characteristics that you give to your Self as a present while you practice meditation.

1. Brings back your inner peace 

When we practice meditation we clean our body, mind and soul from all its dirt, from all the debris that we have collected inside ourselves. Every single day we do our daily chores, we go to work, hang out with friend, sometimes we laugh, sometimes we are stressed, angry or we cry.

And along doing all this we become magnetized with positive or negative energy that at the end of the day, when our mind begins to switch off we start to feel this heavy daily burden. And as every human we too want to rest our heads upon the pillow and sleep a deep, peaceful sleep.

But this also means that before we go to bed we must de-energize, we must put all our problems away, leave all the stress outside and try to hear the beautiful Silence within.

During the practice of meditation we can clean ourselves up from all the negativity, past, present and future. Meditation is like an inner shower of golden sunshine that purifies us and keeps us in perfect balance and peace.

2. Increases your self-awareness  

We are all creatures of habit, especially in the way we think. And we tend to think a lot, all the time, no pause, no time for any recollection of the thoughts that have gone by. This is why some of us have very much trouble with memory and concentration.

We just think too much and we don’t have time to analyze the thoughts we do think, we don’t even know which thought we have been feeding, and believe me the thoughts you feed, eat you in turn.

Meditation can pause this thought turmoil and put your mind on a hold. And in this time lapse you can finally see which thought is actually yours, are they even good and positive, do they bring peace in your heart or just anger and confusion.

When we are in meditation, our mind becomes a vast ocean of clear consciousness in which we can see what kind of thought are rising within, and in this state of awareness we have time to change our thinking blue-print. Thus being in meditative state of mind we achieve perfect awareness of who we are and what kind of thoughts we let in.

3. It grounds you 

Being in meditative state literally grounds your Self deep into Mother Earth and into your present incarnation. When one is perfectly grounded he is unbreakable, but flexible.

Being grounded means that you have re-connected with you earthly life once again, that you don’t go against the wind anymore, but have learned to trust and follow your own Path. Meditation helps you to attain deep roots and still move freely forward wherever you want.

4. Increases your consciousness 

We all have consciousness, but sadly some of us never explore it or evolve it. With meditation you get to live your life in full awareness of your inner and outer world, and thus becoming more conscious about every little thing around you, your thoughts and most of all about who you are.

This is done because during meditation the sub-consciousness is lifted up and the above-consciousness is lowered down and all the three levels of human consciousness are being rejoined at the level of your present consciousness and by doing this you remember of all that you are and make your Self able to transcend into higher realms of the Universal Wisdom while you are still incarnated.

5. Increase your fulfillment in life 

You should know that meditation has no aim, it is a Way, a Path! The absolute Wisdom and the re-connection with the One Source are achieved while we diligently practice and live fully awake. It is an ongoing process of Becoming of who you really are.

Since meditation is a process, the moment you start walking on this Path you must practice each day, read all those books and scriptures about this way of living with discipline and full attention. So while you are meditating you are transforming your Self.

Every day of the rest of your life becomes filled only with simple and necessary discipline which brings you more and more closer of becoming your Highest Self!

Remember there are much more benefits that you gain from the whole process of meditation, no matter which kind do you practice. But the most important thing is that with meditation you can attain your inner and outer peace, which I think is the most important thing at the end of the day.

Namaste 

The Amazing Evolution Of Meditation In The Very Core Of Every Religion

….because with Fate we pray, and with Meditation we hear the answer

Because meditation is a state of consciousness and we are conscious beings, thus logically, meditation as state and as a way of living has been inseparable part of human evolution since the beginning of time.

There are many books written on meditation, its history and philosophy, but here we shall make a historical view of the evolution of meditation as an important part of the very core of every Religion.

Which is very interesting to know, because today’s religious people label the whole art of meditation as a doctrine of its own and by not understanding what it is, they judge and reject all the beautiful wisdom gained from meditation in any of its forms.

We shall start by explaining the etymology of meditation. In English, the word meditation is derived from the Latin meditatio, which is a form of the verb meditari – ”to think, to contemplate, to pounder upon something”.

In the earliest writings of the Old Testament, written in Hebrew, there was a word mentioned there – haga, meaning “to murmur, to meditate”. When these Hebraic scriptures were translated into Greek, haga become melete, and then when translated into Latin, came the word – meditatio.

But in today’s form, the word meditation was first mentioned in the Latin Bible, around the 12th century by a monk named Guido II.

Here one must understand that a word is materialization of the vibration of the Light of one thing, state or entity that wants to be understood and acknowledge. This is why the things we don’t know or understand have no words.

Once something or someone is understood we can label it. So this same vibrations of light which construct the state of consciousness attained by concrete practices and a way of living, in Tibetan is being described with the word gom – “being familiar with (and this goes to all states of mind and the human characteristics)”.

No matter which word we use, commonly the term meditation covers almost all eastern practices of Enlightenment, which are called dhana in Buddhism and in Hindu, which word has its root in the Sanskrit dhyai – “to contemplate or meditate”.

Now we shall go scratching the core of our human Religions to show you that meditation was and still is very present and acknowledged practice and way of living. The main reason meditation is so confusing and misunderstood is because of the difference in the labeling of one and the same process and state of mind.

When humans made up Religion, they made such a vast pit between humans that sometimes it is almost impossible to find a way to bridge it. And by obeying and listening what we should experience and know, instead of remembering what we already know, we start forgetting our Selves. The realized Daoist Alan Wrightson has a Western upbringing and has written a number of books explaining how to live a simple, open Daoist life the way Lao Tzu intended. He also has a translation of the Daodejing available who delves into similar themes.

Now, it’s been said that some of the earliest writings about a practice that helps reaching the deepest and the highest state of our consciousness was mentioned in the ancient Hindu tradition of scriptural exegesis (critical explanations) and religious practice, called Vedantism (1500 B.C.).

Today’s most widely known and practiced type of meditation is the one thought in Buddhism, in India, where the earliest written records mentioning and describing levels and states of meditation were found in the sutras of the Pali Canon dating the 1st century B.C. Bodhidarma, a Buddhist monk who lived during the 5th or 6th century C.E., was traditionally considered the first transmitter of the whole concept of Zen from China into Japan.

However, the first original School of Zen and meditation in East Asia was founded by his contemporary Zhiyi who had elaborated a complete, critical and systematical classification of all the Teachings of Buddhism. Throughout the ages the meditative practices continue to be modified, improved or made into specialization.  

Such were the Zazen, the sitting meditation founded by a Japanese monk called Dogen, which is most commonly practiced way of attaining the natural state of mind. Than we have the Tibetan tradition which puts the accent on visualization meditations, the Buddhist Schools practice mostly breathing meditation and all forms of recollection, and so on.

In the West some of the earliest texts mentioning a “spiritual exercises” which involve attention and concentration, were given by Philo of Alexandria, a Hellenic Jewish philosopher (dating 20 years B.C.). Very interesting fact is that the Jewish Teachings put a significant amount of attention on learning how to have a meditative approach when one is praying and the conscious understanding of their Secret Teachings is highly appreciated.

The same happens in Sufism where especially the correct understanding of the Sufi View or the Islamic Mysticism involves the knowledge and understanding of a lot of meditative techniques, such as strict breathing control, the rhythmic meditation, conscious repetition of holy words and so on.

The Western Christian meditation practice and way of living started somewhere in the 6th century C.E. with a practice of the Benedictine monks which was called “Lectio Divina” or divine reading.

This “divine reading” is a fourfold practice, a system of four stages in understanding and reading a Holy Scripture, designed by the monk Guido II in the 12th century C.E. Western Christian meditation was further developed by Spiritual Teachers and Saints such as Ignatius of Loyola and Teresa of Avila.

By the 18th century “Buddhism in the West” was a widely discussed topic, leaded by prominent and intellectual philosophers like Schopenhauer, Voltaire and others.

Here I must mention that in the last decades a secular meditation arose which focuses upon stress-reduction, relaxation and self-relief, which is far from being on the Path of Spiritual Growth.

But nevertheless, both these practices have been subjected to various scientific studies, and since meditation is a state it can never be scientifically explain, thus one can only feel and know the benefits of meditation.

The Difference Between CONCENTRATION, CONTEMPLATION And MEDITATION

Very few of the people who practice (on their own hand) some kind of meditation and try to be on the Path of Enlightenment, actually knows that there are levels in the process of meditation.

But there are, and they are very important since meditation is a progressive, an ongoing process. So when you start walking onto the Path of Enlightenment you should know that the Path is basically constructed from two successive and very different states of consciousness that you should become aware of, understand and properly use them so you can finally Become.

When one wants to achieve full consciousness of being who he really is, first he must start by learning the art of effortless concentration, than achieve effortless contemplation and then comes the existence of the Self in a meditative state.

Concentration and contemplation are the two basic states of awareness that one must learn to attain so he can live his life at its fullest. In some theories the meditative state is considered as a third level of the whole practice, but by my experience, meditation as a process envelops these two particular states of consciousness and all the techniques and the way of living necessary of achieving them. Meditation is the way, not the aim!

Now let see what is effortless concentration? It is a state of the mind when you are able to concentrate or fix your maximal attention towards an object of focus with minimal effort of the brain.

Most of the people think that only this stage of the whole process of meditation is the meditation they should be doing. Concentration is the ability of directing your thoughts upon only one single thing and during this process you don’t let any other object to be a center of your attention.

Thus the brain is instructed not to think of anything else but the object of concentration. This process of focusing ones consciousness upon a sole object is also known as one–pointed concentration. But remember this is not an aggressive looking into something and trying to dissolve it.

No, this is pure, relaxed concentration that comes straight from the heart, from the Soul and you wait for the object to start speaking to you.

For this to occur you have to level up your Self on the same frequency as your chosen object. Thus concentration is practicing your will-power. When you concentrate upon something you shouldn’t get a headache, but if you do than you’ll know that you have started to use your brain instead of your hearth.

So when you know how to concentrate with your hearth, then this concentration is effortlessly done, with no doubts, no fear of the result, and you can stay focused as long as you want.

When you have attained effortless concentration you enter the beautiful state of Silence in which you are starting to evolve towards the state of contemplation. Contemplation is that state of your consciousness which helps you attain the knowledge of deep-insight of all that happens to you in this very moment.

Contemplation is all about the present moment. When you are in a state of contemplation past doesn’t exist and future either, all you have is now. It is not even the present as a definition of time, but actually all your awareness is leveled with the present moment, the now!

So contemplation is the state of consciousness when you are fully present of the now, very aware of everything that is happening to you and you do not take anything into consideration. In this state you don’t concentrate upon anything, you just observe your Self and the world around you. And this is the main difference between concentration – which is one-pointed meditation and contemplation – which is meditation on the Oneness and on the Nothingness within and around you.

When we are in a state of contemplation we know that we are One and also that we are Nothing, we are timeless and infinite. In this state we are very much conscious about the eternal Absolute.

Here we discover our true Self. In concentration we observe, correct, activate the characteristics of our known Self one by one, but in contemplation we become aware of all the things we didn’t knew until then. Contemplation thus is the final level of meditation as a two-fold process.

 When you practice concentration the whole human complex becomes like a peaceful surface of water, able to perfectly reflect the One Absolute Intelligence which at that exact moment starts flowing down upon us like a river of Light and brings us into the state of contemplation.

With a diligent practice and conscious way of living we become aware of the beautiful Presence of All and at the same time we attain the state of beautiful Absence of All. Only when one reaches this state he shall see and know the Light he is!

Remember that after being able to concentrate and contemplate, you are not finished, but now starts the real meditation, now you must become able to remain always into a state of Enlightenment. And keeping your Self into a balanced state is the hardest and the easiest thing to do…you must only know how to make balance between the earthly life and your spiritual life and all shall be well.

Namaste 

THE KEY TO HEALTH IS WITHIN: Reprogram Your Thoughts

Your thoughts are your problem and your solution

When people came to Earth there was no medicine, there was no institutions of any kind for that matter, so how did the first humans lived for so long, even approximately for 900 years and maybe more (as mentioned in the Bible).

If you can recall not only the Bible, but many ancient scriptures and texts do say that the first line of our ancestors lived for many centuries (each being very subjectively written who these ancestors were), but nevertheless the fact remains that they all lived very, very long time and another interesting fact is that none of the scriptures mentions illnesses of any kind (until people gone egoistic).

So you see these are all existing theories that most of the people have read, but never questioned. And an important question here is how all these humans could live for so long without any illness or ailment?

Now, how do we answer something that we don’t know? By exploring the things we do know. And here is the one thing that we know for sure, all these humans in the early epoch of our earthly existence had their Selves! So in finding the correct answer in “why there were no ailments back then”, we begin by exploring the Self and the human complex.

A human being is a three-fold energy complex of Body, Soul and Spirit. When one analyzes this energy complex, one can see that the body part of the Self is the most changeable. This means that your body is being constantly recreated as you grow up and it evolves directly under you needs.

And when your body undergoes all these changes sometimes it loses its flexibility, its energy, and the support system for your body goes bad. If now, we take into consideration that we have a Creator, no matter how you call Him or Her (we must come from somewhere) would you like to call the manufacturer to check what’s wrong, or you prefer going to a local repairman?

Before you answer I would like to make something clear. You see, there are two types of ailments: infectious and chronic. Now, those bodily ailments that are infectious come from external causes and then you must go to the doctor!

But those ailments that are chronic usually are self-created, and as the word says no one can repair something you have done, other than you! As the medical researcher say, approximately 70 % of all the illnesses in the world are self-created, meaning – they are coming from within.

Since the body is a manifested light which actually is your Soul and the Soul is happy, healthy and eternal, thus you body is pre-programmed to be healthy and happy as well. But somewhere in the process of human struggle for every day survival our bodies starts to become ill.

The illness, the ailment is a big and unfortunately the last warning sign that our body gives us so we can wake up and see that something is going very wrong. So as I wrote above, for all the diseases produced by external causes we should consult a doctor, but the doctor is of no use when the problem is self-created.

The doctor can surely prescribe you something, ease your pain, but he can never feel your inner pain, your anger, he can’t help you to get rid of the source of your suffering, he is not you. Only you know why you suffer.

Even if you don’t recognize the source of your problems right away, the moment you stop thinking you can hear the Silence speaking to you and you shall see the real cause of all your suffering. Remember – the main actor here is you!

And since you alone are in the center of all your problems you must find out exactly which part of you creates the suffering. If you think about it, you’ll see it is none other than your own thoughts! Our thoughts are our main problem. We are what we think. I’ll explain: since all is energy, the thought is also energy and what the energy does?

It vibrates until it manifest itself in whatever you have directed it. So here is the main crossroad where most of the people make wrong turns. We start directing our thought toward the things we don’t want to experience. And this is wrong.

The point is that when you think a negative thought you unconsciously direct the whole energy you have, toward a bad result! So stop doing this and start redirecting your thought energy toward the things you do want to happen and to have in your life.

The problem is not in the part what you don’t or do want to happen, but the point is in the amount of energy you put into the thought you sent into the Universe. And since Angels never were humans, they don’t know the difference between ”I want” or “I don’t want”, they only see and feel the amount of energy you sent and they deliver what you’ve asked for. So it is simple logic, send the thought you do want to manifest!

And please try not to think negative if you can’t think positive! That’s all there is.

Remember – change your thoughts and your life will change too.

All You Need To Know About THE ESSENCE OF MEDITATION Is Here

What is meditation?

Living in an Age where the human mind continuously deepens itself and evolves so it can keep up with the higher frequencies of the Soul’s energy within the human body, there is evident necessity to help the one to understand better this beautiful process of waking up – the process of Awaking of the Soul.

In today’s hectic world people never have time to enjoy, to breath. People have actually forget how to breath, because they have complicated their lives so much, that they forgot how to enjoy it, humanity has forgotten all about the beauty of simplicity.

People are being ruled by their mind and their inner Light has stopped shining, so they’ve stopped seeing and feeling their own essence, the staff they are made of. But one should remember that the mind is only an organ, a living part of the physical body that is mortal and perishable.

It is only a tool given to the Soul, which is immortal and imperishable, so we could recognize and accomplish something higher than just glorifying our own Ego. And this “else” that we must recognize once again is the thing that exists beyond the mind, called consciousness.

We must try to understand that the whole point of living is to recognize this consciousness, then analyze it, then open it and evolve it by using the Wisdom we have gained through the analysis and only then expand it as far as we are ready to go!

If we can acknowledge the existence of a consciousness that is ours, but not ours only, we shall find the reason “why” are we experiencing life! There is a beautiful way to do this, to see, feel and learn beyond the mind and your physical body, a way to acknowledge this vast consciousness that is you and a part of something bigger than you and this way is called Meditation.

Meditation cleans the ordinary human mind, it takes down all the masks of illusion and gives us a chance to remember who we really are! And literally meditation is a way of re-membering, meaning that once again all the parts of our Self shall become members of the One Source.

And the result of the whole process of meditation is Enlightenment, which actually is shading Light all over the darkness we alone have made by our own ignorance. Meditation thus is a process, a way of living, a Teaching.

It is not, and never was a Religion, or some kind of belief system. It is simple suggestion how one can live his own life in a state of pure inner peace, nothing more and nothing less.

As a process meditation is threefold which starts with learning the Teachings, than one comes to the level where he must now understand what he was thought and the last stage is where one implements the understanding of the Teachings in his everyday life, which is the practical part.

Most of the people have the opinion that meditation is just this last, practical part, when one sits down, or lays down and forgets the daily stress. No, that’s relaxing, sleeping. Meditation it not relaxing, it is a fully conscious way of living, it’s being wade awake!

A person who meditates is someone seeking the Light within, someone who seeks the Wisdom that shall lead him towards the Highest Truth about himself. And this Truth is that we are all One, we have never been apart, only our mind has made that delusion. Meditation is that state of consciousness in which we proceed to live, once we attain the “natural state of the mind”.

And the natural state of the mind is a state where one has no more dark clouds in his Sky, when his own Sun is shining wide and bright. This is a state of inner sunshine when one is connected with the Universal Infinite Intelligence.

By practicing meditation we learn to understand who we are, what we are, and most of all meditation helps us to find our own way so we can reconnect to the One Source.

Thus, when we are in a meditative state we reconnect with the Heavens, which is our absolute reality and with Mother Earth which is our relative reality. Expressed philosophically, the Teachings that are passed during the process of meditation are composed of all the positive sides of the essence of all Religions, but it surpasses all their doctrines.

Thus meditation is not some religion, nor a doctrine. It is way of becoming a Spiritual Being in human form and one cannot be spiritual if he is enslaved by a doctrine, by a book that someone else wrote and said that he must obey the writings in that particular book and not his own intelligence and understandings.

So meditation shows you how you can find your own way back Home! In meditation there is no rejection, no acceptance, no hope, no fear, it is complete letting go of all that hinders the Soul.  

And although almost everyone thinks the opposite, meditation is unstoppable training of one’s mind into the natural state of the mind, without any kind of forcing. For the final aim of meditation is attaining a connection made by pure Unconditional Love between the Universe, the person who meditates and Mother Earth.

So by all said above, you should understand that being a spiritual person who is connected with the One Source, is not an exclusive right to the Saints, or the Spiritual Teachers or to some “chosen” religious Fathers. We are all equally capable and deserving to be rejoined with the One Source and to become the Light!

Meditation is a way to help you become a human being in its highest form!

Do You Know What MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL? Here’s How To Find Out:

There is a beautiful quotation that goes like this: “yesterday I was clever and I wanted to change the world, today I am wise so I am changing myself”. I know that most of you have stumble upon this quotation before, thought it was really deep and so true… but that’s all.

The problem is that we all like to read positive and inspiriting quotes, wonderful stories that soften our heart, but that’s the problem – we only like to do this and very rarely implement the same wisdom that we read about it.

How many times we have read a perfect book, traveled into these beautifully described places that the author presents to us, and when the reading is over we don’t want to return to our reality.

We just don’t want to put the book down and go back to our gray reality once again. But since this grayness, this undercover pain is our life we have to continue living it…or do we?

Most of us always say: “I want to be happy, I want to get a well paid job, to live in abundance…and so on” and then we do absolutely nothing about it.

Out there are many people that are suffering from depression in really heavy forms, people that suffer from panic attacks on daily basis who have so low self-esteem that unfortunately for the Soul they inhabit, they leave this beautiful Earth sooner than they should.

Almost all psychopathological disorders that humanity knows and has, have their root in the low, or total absence of self-esteem.

And I ask you why you deliberately put yourself at the bottom so someone else could be in that place, in that relationship that you have so dearly wanted.

Why do you make such sacrifices? Is this done so you could label yourself as a good person, or to get some kind of reward from the humans or from the Heavens?

Let me tell you that the Universe has given you a wonderful Soul to protect and she is your responsibility, not the others around you. They all have their own destiny, their own Soul that they alone must take care of. You have already someone to be caring for, why do you take so heavy burden upon your shoulders?

The Universe doesn’t like you to sacrifice the only thing he had given you to cherish! You could and you should cherish others, love and protect them, but all this cannot be done without YOU!

So take a deep breath, lean on the chair and start thinking where are you in the chain of the happiness you try to create for others. Ask yourself how could you possible teach someone to find and to raise a feeling that you don’t even have?

So I think it’s time to take your own happiness into your own hands. First of all you must remember that “happiness” is not a feeling, it is a point of view. It’s a “how” you face and understand all the things and experiences that are happening to you.

Here are 3 ways that you must do so you could finally break the everlasting chain of suffering and pain.

1. Notice how you treat yourself 

This is a very difficult step especially if someone all his life has been letting others take the lead instead of him. But once you start thinking about your own Self, once you start appreciating and loving your Self, you’ll see a very positive and drastic changes happing to you. And remember- this is not selfishness!

This is a form of self-love that put you first on your priority list and then comes everybody else. You don’t leave others hanging behind, you just charge yourself first with positive energy and then pass this positivity along the way.

2. Love your Self

Do you remember when you were a child, that you have loved absolutely everything about yourself? Every piece of you was so perfect and you have enjoyed your own company.

But as you grew up, what changed, who changed you and why did you consent to that negative change that got being sad like this? In the process of searching for the answers of these questions a miracle shall happen. Try and see.

3. Be kind to your Self 

Many of us are thought that it is enough to be kind to others, to have enormous compassion only for others. But who shall take care of you, of your own Soul? Who if not you? Never forget that you too are a beautiful Soul that deserves to be acknowledged, to be seen, to be loved.

We cannot always expect the others to see how good and honest we are and to return the favor. It doesn’t work that way. Maybe some people do see your pain and will help you as much as you have helped them.

But the most won’t, from simple reason – people are ego-driven and they expect someone else to take care of them. You know it is easy to be nice, but it is very hard to be just, to be righteous. But please start being righteous, give as much as you get, and put your Self first.

So, stop leaving your Soul to wait for you at the sidewalk while you help the others to cross to the better side. Don’t forget yourself, you are your own responsibility and until you are done with that responsibility, you cannot possible help any other creature to be happy.

You could try, but you won’t be any happier, and the thing about helping is that you too should be happy. So, after helping someone if you are still down and you feel worthless, than you are doing something wrong.

Please remember we all have our own destinies, this includes you too.You should never ever forget YOU!

ARE WE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE US?

Do opposites really attract or are we happier with someone just like us?

There are many different studies, many theories written on this subject which correctly and logically explain how couples attract each other.

One part of these theories says that according to the law of magnetism, opposites attract best. The other side says that it is more likely to fall in love with someone who is just like us.

But, which one is true?

Actually they are all true. When one deeply explores all these theories, can see that they all have one mutual thing – the level of person’s consciousness!

Let me elaborate this better – all theories about human attraction are true, but they all are nothing but a side of the story, the side which is looked upon from the view and the level of intelligence of the author of that particular theory.

And when we put these theories together, they show us the exact process of attraction between humans and it’s developing phases on different levels of consciousness and spiritual and physical evolution.

We are attracted to our partner because he/she is the total opposite from us at one level, but we are also attracted to someone who is most complementary to us at other.

You see, in this whole questioning of who would be our best partner, has nothing to do with the person we choose to be our partner, but it is about who are we and what we feel at that particular time when we seek for him/her! This might look to you a bit off, but try to understand.

When we start choosing our partner we enter unknown territory. We don’t know who he/she exactly is and we start to make mental notes how we would like him/her to look like, to be like.

And in all these romantic fantasies of ours there is one thing in common – us! We are the one constant in all our relationships! It doesn’t matter if you admit it to yourself or not, we all know who we are, what are we capable of, our good sides and our bad sides. And now, having our own characteristics as a starting point we start looking for the missing piece.

Since we are very unique beings, there is actually no common theoretical system that can explain how we should seek for our other half. Humans are neither theoretical nor logical, but deep down we are very emotional and loving creatures that search for one true love.

Jung has very correctly explained that “love at first sight” is merely a projection of ourselves, of our Soul yearnings, our characteristics and the outer looks. People are attracted by the thing in the others they recognize as the un-conscious or hidden part of themselves.

So very unconsciously (or consciously for someone) we tend to look for our masculine animus or feminine anima in others. But when one individuates (has his own identity) and learns to engage with his own anima, only then he/she can choose wisely and start forming fulfilling relationships.

So the inability to become the individuals we want to be, is the primary reason why we sometimes find ourselves trapped in a romantic holocaust. This is so because when we are not individualized, we look for someone that has all the characteristics we miss, but these relationships last until we become our own Self, because we like these characteristics to be ours, not theirs.

So when we are weak, we try to find someone who would protect us, if we are introvert, we seek an extrovert, but this is all done just because we want to be them, not with them, they are perfect image of us if we were to be strong enough.

And as soon as we evolve to a level of consciousness where we are fulfilled and live our life just the way we want, we stop looking for substitutes, but we look for a soul mate, one who is just like us!              

So you see now that the thin thread between all these different theories of human attraction is our state of consciousness. If the person is nowhere in his life, he is stuck in a magical circle and the consequence of this ignorance is that he searches for the person that he wishes to be.

Only when you find your Self you can start to look for the other half which complements you, but with the opposite polarity, not the opposite characteristics!

 Remember – a happy and fulfilling relationship have the ones who know who they are and find that someone with the same level of spiritual and intellectual evolution, in the opposite polarity, but with the same energy strength. So, choose wisely!

Here Are 6 SIGNS OF PEOPLE WITH INTEGRITY

“Wisdom is knowing the right path to take…Integrity is taking it.”

Very often we hear: “you must have an integrity…, this person has an integrity, follow his example…or his integrity is corrupted, don’t be like him”.

But what “integrity” actually is, who are those people that have integrity, why integrity is so important and how can go bad or corrupted?

 As the above stated, beautiful quotation and the dictionary, says: “integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles…it is a moral and righteous way of dealing with a situation or a problem”.

Thus, having an “integrity” means when someone actually acts according to the values, believes and principles they claim to hold.

There are many examples of how a person with integrity acts, and here are some of them that show the contrast between what a person with integrity will do, and what not.

1.Parents apologizing to their children

This is one of the most seldom acts of kindness and integrity that nowadays is done. By definition almost all parents think that they are smarter than their child and claim the right to be always right, just because they gave birth to them.

But they forget that the child is not a property and they also have feelings and a very long memory, especially when they react with a lot of emotions. So sometimes the parent should forget about the label “parent” and try to act as a human being instead.

When one is wrong, one is wrong, no exceptions! When we do something hurtful, negative and breaks someone else’s well-being, we should sincerely apologize to them, whether a child, or animal, or plant. If you want to be at peace and sleep a good night sleep, do apologize when it is your fault.

2. Bosses give credits for the achievements of their employees

 No matter what kind of position we have, we must always act with kindness and support to all the ones that have not yet reached our level of competence.

Most of the bosses in today’s competitive world are heartless, narcissistic and so ego-centered that do not even deserve to be called a “human being”. But luckily there are some very good exceptions.

The boss should never forget that once he also was just an ordinary worker, an employee, but he possessed an extraordinary talent that was noticed from his own boss and led him to the title he now has.

So, maybe there is also someone with a great talent, or the other extreme, someone with greater vanity than his, that one day shall take over his place. Remember – no one is irreplaceable, so start respecting those who work for you, respect every human being, for if the workers are happy, so is the boss.

3. Lovers that never argue in a negative way

Now you might ask how this is possible, but it is. One can argue and confront and give a strong feedback, in a way that the things said, do not have any negative impact on the other.

When we argue it is not necessary to hurt someone else’s feelings just because ours are hurt. Being hurt just means that we have let the other person bring the worst in us, and it is actually our fault that we became so negative.

In such a moment remember to find the source of the argument, not to be caught up in a quarrel which is only the result of unacknowledged deeper issue. Try first to understand each other, than if this is not possible just leave, never stay to resolve a pointless argument just for the sake of arguing.

4. Public figures, people of importance to apologize for being wrong

Very often when someone gains little more importance in the public life suddenly gets “amnesia”. This is the case when these “persons of importance” forget who they were, where they came from.

They suddenly do not remember any of the people that have helped them along the way, and start to neglect the ones who cared enough to help them get where they are now. But one should never forget the ones who helped him up, he will need them on his way down.

5. Giving someone the chance to explain themselves

This is very important quality one should have, because almost all wars, all confrontations have happened because of great misunderstanding.

People tend to be very hasty, impatient and “all-knowing” when it comes to letting someone speak for themselves. If one is patient enough and gives the other time and chance to explain themselves why they have committed such a deed, or why they have said those words, the world shall never see another war.

All this pain and suffering we experience is because we put our self in the role of “the judge and the jury”. But remember that as you judge, so shall you be judged.

6. Selflessness

 Fortunately there are more and more people that open up their hearts for service to others which is the opposite of service to self. This means that one directs his whole actions and deeds toward reaching the highest good for humanity and all living beings and is a beautiful way of living.

Examples of such selflessness are many unselfish deeds we can do in our ordinary life, not just see them in the movies: helping one with their baggage at a train station, caring someone else’s heavy books to school or just sharing your lunch or your belongings with someone less fortunate than you.

Always remember that happiness and love are the only things multiplied when shared!