Parents nowadays try to please every child’s need and can easily take over if the child starts nagging and crying if something seems hard for them to do. This, of course, leads to rigidness in thought and laziness and it can eventually cause a lot of difficulties in their future growth.

Have you been held to high expectations? How many of the things you were expected to achieve have you really achieved?

Without knowing you, I can assure you that if you took those expectations seriously, your efforts in living up to them made you a stronger and more responsible person (regardless of whether you have achieved the expected result in the end).

Expectations come from the idea that the person you hold those expectations to is CAPABLE of meeting them. You cannot hold someone to high expectations if you know that they are not capable of doing it. Expectations correlate with the abilities that the person possesses and are a very natural response.

Now, if you looked it the other way around, the person who is held to high expectations will feel the pressure to meet those expectations.

The privilege of being expected to do something (because you are capable of doing it) comes with the respective responsibility.

It doesn’t really matter if you feel capable of doing it – you’ll have to make everything in your power to achieve it. And here comes the growing process. While you try to meet someone’s expectations, you begin to combine your abilities in a different, unique setting that will allow you to achieve the results.

If you read carefully so far, it all comes to this: The way to achieve something depends on the person; the ability is something every person constructs on the way; the lessons stay for life.

The further you go in life, the higher the threshold will become and thus the expectations too. This means that with every stage of your growth, the difficulty of the tasks will grow too. So, the best time to start building this ability is from an early age.

The fact is that it’s not your child being incapable of doing whatever they are supposed to. You think that if you leave them on their own in such situations where they feel frustrated, it would cause them ‘traumas’ and ‘frustrations’ that would hold them back.

You think that the stress you feel when someone holds you to high expectations may be too big for them, so you spare them from it.

With that, you unfortunately spare them from the growth they need to achieve to become complete individuals capable of finding the appropriate patterns to achieve ANYTHING in life.

So, how to start having high expectations from your child and have them realize that they are capable of achieving them?

First, you need to KNOW that your child is capable of so much more. Every new challenge comes with its own difficulties and you need to let them face them and overcome them.

Being a supportive parent means just that – being SUPPORTIVE, not doing their chores, learning their lessons or finishing off where they started. Consult with your children, help them figure it out and do it – but never take up their role.

It may be harder for them to face the challenge without your mingling, but the long-term effects of this approach are worthwhile.

It has been proven time after time that teachers who hold their students to high expectations see those same students succeed (I am a teacher and I do this all the time). While the teacher is primarily focused on what the student needs to learn from their lessons, parents are their children’s teachers for life.

Of course, expectations you can have on your child depend on their age and capability. Don’t forget that you should expect as much as you can get from your child.

The key is your ability to recognize their current capabilities and skills and recognize if they are able to combine them. Don’t hold your children to expectations they can’t live up to and respect their abilities.

And don’t forget that you CAN’T FORCE your child to meet your expectations. If your child is ‘slacking’ and is being lazy, you should let them be. In the end it’s enough to truly show your disappointment.

Every child wants to see their parents happy, so be true to how you feel about it and they will see their errors and try to fix them.

Hold your children to high moral, personal, educational, social (and you name it) expectations. Let them know that you believe in their capability of handling tasks as they come and help them go through them by supporting them emotionally and psychologically.

What your child learns during young age will reflect throughout their whole life. So, I am holding you to this high expectation: Help your children face their odds by letting them know that you expect that from them. Don’t take over because you feel ‘sorry’ for their short-termed frustration on the way.

Hold your children to high expectations and see them bloom!

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Have you ever wondered if you are emotionally intelligent? Read this to find out for sure.

Dr. Travis Bradberry has analyzed the data from the million-plus people who were tested emotional intelligence (EQ) in order to identify the behaviors that are certain signs you have a high emotional intelligence.

1.You have a robust emotional vocabulary.

Everybody experiences emotions but not all people are able identify the accurate emotions when they occur. According a research, only 36% of people are able to do this. It is very problematic situation not to be able to identify your own feelings since they can lead you to irrational choices.

People who have higher EQ perfectly understand their emotions and are able to identify them, using extensive vocabulary of feelings to understand and describe those emotions.

For example, instead of describing that they are feeling ‘bad’, people with high EQ will say that they are ‘irritated’, ‘anxious’ or ‘frustrated’. The more precise words you use, the better you understand the emotion you feel at the moment.

2. You’re curious about people.

EQ people are curious about all the people around them, no matter if they are extrovert of introvert person. This curiosity comes out from being empathic and empathy is number one way to a high EQ.

The closer you get to someone the more curious you become about them. If you care about a person you tend to get more curious about what they are going through and your curiosity about them is greater.

3. You’re a good judge of character.

Emotional intelligence is connected to social awareness as well. If you have EQ you most certainly have the ability to read other people. You perfectly know how they feel and understand their situation.

This skill makes you become an excellent judge of character and people are no longer a mystery to you. What is very important is that you can read their motivations; even those motives who are hidden deeply beneath the surface cannot escape you.

4. You are difficult to offend.

You know how much you worth so it’s not an easy task for someone to offend you. Emotionally intelligent people are strongly confident and open minded.

This characteristic makes you bulletproof from provocations and insults. Moreover, you know how to make jokes and poke fun on your account since you have the ability to distinguish the line between humor and degradation.

5. You know how to say no (to yourself and others).

People who have emotional intelligence very well know how to exert self-control. Delaying a gratification and avoiding impulsive actions are means of self-control that you perfectly handle.

For some people it is very difficult to say ‘no’ in certain situations but this is not the case with you. You are not afraid to use the word and you don’t use such phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.”

You simply use the word ‘no’ and move one to new opportunities and chances.

6. You give and expect nothing in return.

You know how to leave a powerful impression on other people because you give without expecting anything in return. People with EQ most often build strong relationships because they are thoughtful and think of other people.

The rest of the world works the other way round- everybody gives something and expects something in return. This is not you because you are greater than the others.

7. You don’t hold grudges.

Those negative emotions that come when holding a grudge are actually response of stress. When you think of all those things that cause your stress you revive the moment again and again.

Stress can cause high blood pressure and heart disease. Emotionally intelligent people know that they have no use from holding a grudge and they know how to avoid stress.  If you let go of the grudge you also let go of the stress and you will be healthier.

8. You neutralize toxic people.

For most people it is exhausting and even frustrating to deal with difficult people. Emotionally intelligent people know how to control their interactions with toxic people.

EQ people identify their own feelings and approach the situation rationally, without letting the emotions to worsen the situation. They don’t allow the toxic people to pull them down and are able to find common ground in every situation.

9. You don’t seek perfection.

Perfection isn’t real, it doesn’t exist and you know that. EQ people don’t set perfection as their goal since they are very well aware it doesn’t exist. Accepting this reality you are free from frustrations since you are not chasing some imaginary goal that you wish to accomplish.

You don’t spend your time in vain and you keep moving forward, excited about what you have achieved so far and what you will accomplish in the time to come.

10. You appreciate what you have.

Instead of whining about what you haven’t got, you appreciate what you have and you are grateful for all those things in your life.

According to research, people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude were experiencing significantly improved mood, physical well-being and more energy.

11. You get enough sleep.

If you wish to increase your emotional intelligence and to manage your stress levels, you have to realize how important sleep is for your well-being. Your body and brain recharge during sleep.

The mind, however, is constantly working. Even when you sleep, it sorts all the data you’ve collected during the day so that you can wake up alert and with clear head. EQ people make sleep their priority since they are aware of the importance of having a good night sleep.

12. You stop negative self-talk in its tracks.

If you think that something bad will happen, it will happen. The more you thing on negative things, the more power you give to them. You have to remember that they are only thoughts, they are not facts.

You brain has the tendency to perceive the things you believe are true so if you think of bad things, you will be surrounded by sadness and negativity in your life. EQ people know how to separate facts from thoughts so that is why they have more positive way of seeing things around them.

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Source: http://www.success.com

Has someone offended you by calling you emotional? Do you often cry because you react oversensitivity to things? People think that you are emotional if you shed some happy tears and they call you sensitive when you express that something bothers to you.

Well, don’t worry about those people, they just don’t realize that you have a super-power! Yes, being sensitive and emotional is a super-power that a few people possess. You are able to sympathize and empathize with a situation that is either your own or to other people.

This is truly a rare ability and that is the reason why most of the people don’t understand why you react the way you do.

You should never concern about other people’s reactions towards your sensitivity and emotionality because they are a gift from God. He believes in you, he believes that you are bigger than the rest of the world and someday you will use this gift to make difference.

Someday you will change somebody’s life. You of all the people have the ability to support a friend in need. You are the first person that your friends will call: either they need you to listen to their problems when the world turned them down, or to simply be happy about their happiness when something good has happened to them.

In a world where only money matters, you feel differently. Your special gift makes you see and feel that there is more than material things. The greatness of your heart can lead you to volunteer or donate so that you could help someone in need.

Feeling differently than the rest of the world is an amazing thing. You smile sincerely and from the heart, your smile is big! You feel things with all the senses and you feel deep from the heart. You love from the bottom of your heart, from the very core of your soul. It’s a superb thing!

Imagine that you are emotionless and insensitive. Do you think it’s a good thing? Being without emotions is not a healthy thing.

People who don’t sympathize and don’t have strong emotions to thing around them aren’t very happy in their lives and they are hardly ever satisfied with anything.

You are a rich person. You enjoy the beauty of the world simply because you feel it more. Don’t you ever stop feeling the summer breeze on your skin, dance in the rain if you feel like doing so.

The things that you do, the thing that make you feel more alive are the thing that you have to hold dear to. A simple sunset makes you appreciate more the things that were given to us.

The smell of spring, the song of a bird, the whisper of the wind, you see and feel the nature with all your senses.

The world is beautiful and you know it, and even more- you feel it. This makes you more sensitive and emotional towards people and you sympathize and empathize with them.

Accept who you are and feel sorry for those will criticize for your gift. Those people don’t deserve your presence, they don’t deserve the greatness of your heart.

Remember that you are better and greater than them. Rise above their stupidity and ignore them the next time you are called emotional or sensitive. Be who you are and be proud of you gift.

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Are you one of those who just can’t hold their tongue to one’s teeth and you must give a comment or remark about everything in any situation? Well you shouldn’t be.

Because there are some words and phrases, which although true, can make you look very bad in front of your boss or colleagues.

It’s not about making mistakes or off-colour jokes, it’s about the subtle remarks.

We may not pay attention to them, but some of those phrases are filled with negative implication which can change the way people look at you.

1. “That’s not fair”

Life is hard and probably you are thinking that many things are not fair. Put actually saying that out loud, especially in the office, will make you look as immature and naïve person for expecting everything to be fair.

To avoid looking bad, you need to stick to the facts, be constructive and don’t use interpretation. For example, if your boss assigned the project you were hoping to get to someone else, instead of saying “It’s not fair”, say that you’d like to know what you did wrong and what can you do in order to improve your skills for future projects.

2. “This is how things have always been done”

Everything is changing in the blink of an eye so any method or technology can be considered out of date even after a year or two.

So, when you use the phrase “This is how things have always been done” you give an impression of a lazy person who is resistant to change. Your boss will wonder why you wouldn’t make an effort to do things differently because there’s always a better way.

3. “No problem”

If a friend or a colleague asks a favour from you and they say thank you for it, don’t answer with the phrase “no problem” because it’ll sound like the request should have been a problem, and you’ve been imposed with the favour.

Instead use phrases like “I’ll be happy to do it” or “It was my pleasure” since they will leave a positive impact on people.

4. “I think …/This may be a silly idea …/I’m going to ask a stupid question”

Never start your sentences with one of these phrases because you’ll give an impression of insecure person who lacks confidence.

Don’t criticize yourself because if you aren’t confident about the things you say and do how do you expect others to be. But if you really don’t have certain information, say that you’ll find out about it and get back with an update.

5. “This will only take a minute”

When you say that the task can be completed in a minute it looks like you will just rush through it. Your boss will think that you undermine your obligations and consider you as unserious worker.

Unless is a task which literally can be done in a minute, use the phrase “it won’t be long”.

6. “I’ll try”

When you are assigned with a task you shouldn’t say that you’ll try to complete it because that way you look insecure in your abilities. Either accept the task and give your best to it or offer another alternative, but never say “I’ll try” because your boss will think that you won’t give your maximum.

7. “He’s lazy/incompetent/a jerk”

Negative comments about other colleagues are a big no. If someone in the office is lazy, a jerk or isn’t doing his job well, other colleagues have noticed that too, so there’s no need for you to point that out.

Plus, there’s always a chance that you are wrong and in the end you’ll end up being a jerk, because hiding behind someone else’s incompetence will make you look insecure about your working skills.

So, unless you have the power to fire that person or help them to become better, keep your thoughts to yourself.

8. That’s not in my job description”

If you use this phrase when your boss asks you to do something, you sound like you aren’t willing to take up some new responsibilities.

It will give the impression that you’re in the office only to do the bare minimum expected from you to keep getting paid, which looks bad, especially if you expect security in the workplace.

Next time your boss assigns you to do something that seems inappropriate for your position (of course that rules out something morally and ethically inappropriate) do it happily.

Later, talk with your boss whether there’s a chance for an update in your job description. This way you and your boss will develop a long-term understanding of which are and which aren’t your responsibilities according to your job description.

9. “It’s not my fault”

Putting the blame on someone else is never a good idea. If you were a part of the thing which went wrong, no matter how small your part was, own up to it. If you weren’t a part of that, give your dispassionate explanation about what happened, stick to the facts, and let your boss or colleagues decide who’s to blame.

Because the moment you put the blame on someone is the moment your colleagues stat seeing you as someone who can’t own up to their responsibilities. This will make people lose trust in you. Some will avoid working with you, while others will put the blame on you for the first next thing that goes wrong.

10. “I can’t”

When you say “I can’t” your boss will get the impression that you won’t. Even if you really don’t know how to do the task, your boss will think that you wouldn’t put an effort and consider you as a lazy person.

Instead, when you think you are lacking the skills to do something you were assigned to, ask someone to help you and show you how, so you could do it on your own.

11. “I hate this job”

The worst thing is to hate the job that you do, let alone say that out loud. Negative feelings bring down the morale of the whole team, and bosses are quick to spot those who do that.

So, love your job and be happy to do it because there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.

To sum up

It may take some time to eliminate all these phrases from your vocabulary but once you do you’ll be a much better colleague and an employee. Be sure that those around you will notice that and you’ll get your reward for it.

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Source:http://www.talentsmart.com/

Brain stimulation is important in every stage of your life, and brain nourishment is as crucial as food nourishment. Giving your brain some stimulation will keep it in great shape, even when you get older.

Excessive food can make you obese, and the same goes for the brain as well. Excessive stimulation can be dangerous for your grey matter, so be careful what kind of stimulation you give to your brain.

Newest research proves that people over 40 shouldn’t stimulate their brain too much with long working hours, because the results may be counterproductive.

Cognitive decline can happen as early as in your 40s. It manifests with losing the ability to focus and remember important facts. This overstimulation and cognitive decline usually happens because of your excessive work.

The Melbourne Institute of Applied Economics and Social Research did interesting research about the working hours of people over 40.

This study involved 3500 women and 3000 men at the age of 40 and over. What they found out was that working up to 30 hours a week is great for your brain.

This is the good limit for improving your cognitive function when you reach this age, but once you cross the limit of 30 hours, your performance will start getting worse.

Men and women included in the study received cognitive function tests. They were also observed while working.

The study proved that 55 hours or work a week worsens cognitive function and impairment is even worse than in people who were unemployed or retired.

These people were also monitored on reading words aloud, matching letters and numbers in speed trials, and reciting lists of numbers, as a part of the test. Professor Colin McKenzie was the author of the test in this Household Colin Labour Dynamics in Australia survey.

He stated that the indicators of the tests’ results were the thinking and the knowing. The knowing ability is in the reading tests, whereas the thinking ability is in the memory, abstract, and executive reasoning.

The professor mentioned that countries nowadays want to raise the retirement age and force people to work longer time, but they have to consider the working hours first. The survey does not take into consideration the type of work, so there is still more research to be conducted.

Intellectual stimulation is good if you want to maintain your cognitive function. You can do it by brain puzzles (Sudoku), or crosswords, but not with overstimulation, because it will have an opposite effect on you.

The most important thing is the degree to which you will stimulate your brain when you are over 40. Anything that is causing you fatigue and stress is a sign you should stop and call it a day.

If you note some signs of cognitive decline, it is time to reconsider how much you are working throughout the day. Go on a holiday, take some rest, and don’t cross the limit of 30 working hours a week to keep your brain healthy!

Source:
Melbourne Institute Working Paper Series Working Paper No. 7/16
https://www.melbourneinstitute.com/downloads/working_paper_series/wp2016n07.pdf