It is said and believed that every human being on Earth needs companionship, and a feeling of community, belonging, and acceptance. Studies proved that when animals are left alone, they die. Same is thought to be true of humans.

However, one study showed that this is not entirely the case when it comes to highly intelligent people.

According to the study’s findings, the more people socialized with other people the happier they were. However, this was not true for people who are highly intelligent. Contrary, highly intelligent people were less happy, less productive, and more anxious when they were around more people.

According to the researchers, there are few reasons for this: intelligent people can entertain themselves in any environment and won’t get bored if they are left alone, they need time to focus on their goals and because of that they don’t have much time to spend on socializing with others. Plus, they don’t need the approval and the company of others to make them feel valued and accepted.

In fact, smart people need their alone time to reflect and decompress. They analyze in silence the events that happen around them and try to learn from them. They can be often found sitting by themselves with a pen and paper and drafting ideas and future plans.

Moreover, it is found that highly intelligent people are those who have a calm and reserved nature. They would rather spend a Friday night reading a book in their cozy home, than going out for drinks with friends.

After all, smart people know that they are their best company. And sometimes, it is better to be alone than spending your time in meaningless social gatherings that won’t bring any value to your life.

In every company, there are people who are givers, and people who are takers.

The givers are those employees that are willing to help anyone who asks them to. They have a generous nature and take time to offer their colleagues advice and help them even if that means sacrificing their own success.

The takers, on the other hand, are energy-suckers and they only look after themselves. They are selfish, and they care only about their success even if this means using and manipulating others into getting what they want.

So, it is not difficult to realize that companies need more givers than takers.

Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist and New York Times best-selling author, says that it is difficult to distinguish givers from takers from the get-go because everyone is on their best behavior during the work interview.

However, he believes in people who are disagreeable givers. He believes they are the most undervalued employees in a company because they offer critical comments that no one wants to hear but they need to.

Moreover, he says that if someone is agreeable doesn’t mean that he or she is a giver. They can be fakers. And, it can be difficult to recognize the fake givers. However, he suggests asking this question the answer of which can reveal their true character:

Can you give me the names of four people whose careers you have fundamentally improved?

Grant says that takers will usually give you prominent names of people who are more successful and influent than they are. This is because takers use other people as their stepping stones to their scale of success. They care more about their image and influence than they do about the overall success of the company.

Contrary, the givers will most likely give you 4 names of people that you’ve never heard of. People who are equal or even below them. This is because givers don’t care about their outward image and power. They care about the company’s growth and they want all employees to succeed.

If you want your company to succeed, hire givers, not takers!

Everyone believes that everything is easy when you are beautiful. People like you more, you are more persuasive, healthier, smarter, and others seem to trust you more.

However, you don’t have to be a model or hit the genetic lottery to become more attractive and appealing to others, especially to the opposite gender.

Below are 11 scientifically proven ways for men and women to become irresistible to the opposite gender..

1. WOMEN SHOULD SMILE MORE & MEN SHOULD BROOD MORE

Researchers found that men are more attracted to women who smile more and radiate with happiness. Men want to make their women happy and when they see a woman’s smiling face it immediately captures their attention.

On the other hand, a study called “Happy Guys Finish Last: The Impact of Emotion Expressions on Attraction” found that happiness is the least attractive quality in a man. Women find swaggering and brooding men the most appealing. This probably explains why girls are attracted to bad boys.

2. WEAR PERFUME

Having and maintaining proper hygiene habits are essential when it comes to how others perceive us. And while you should never forget to shower and clean your teeth, research has shown that men and women are attracted to the smell of a good perfume or cologne in the opposite gender..

Researchers say that the reason we are attracted to pleasant smells is that the parts of the brain which process smell and sight are connected.

3. WOMEN: KEEP YOUR RED LIPSTICK HANDY – MEN: SHAVE YOUR BEARDS

Ladies, if you want to become irresistible to men, next time when you are at a drug store pick a red lipstick. A study from the Manchester University showed that men are attracted to red colored lips more than any other color. Plus, the women’s lips are the number one most attractive quality according to men.

When it comes to men, women find beardless men more attractive. A study found that even though men with beards are seen as more aggressive and of a higher social status, when it comes to attractiveness, they are seen as less attractive as their beardless counterparts.

4. EAT FRUITS & VEGETABLES FOR GLOWING SKIN

Fruits and vegetables are full of antioxidants which are great for the skin. They are a natural way for a radiant and glowing skin which in turn makes you more attractive.

Plus, they have a lot of plant-based pigments which give the skin a healthy color and rosy cheeks that show a person is healthy which in turn makes them beautiful and attractive.

5. WEAR RED

Red is a color that is associated with passion, virility, love, power, and deep eroticism. It is a great color for both genders. if they want to become instantly more attractive and desired by the opposite gender.

Studies have shown that this color affects enormously the way we perceive our potential partner. According to research, both men and women are more attractive, more desirable and receptive when they wear red.

6. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF RELAXED AND STRESS-FREE

Let’s agree on one thing – stress is not hot. And people who are stressed are considered less attractive than those who are relaxed, according to a study.

The reason is that, subconsciously, we all look for a partner that is able to handle stressful situations well. This means that they have good genes that can be further passed on to the children.

7. BE AN EXCELLENT CONVERSATIONALIST

Being able to engage in a meaningful conversation, and not just in small talk is a very attractive quality in both men and women. Harvard study found that if you talk meaningfully about yourself and your life and goals, you activate your partner’s pleasure centers of the brain.  

But, if you are an introvert and you don’t want to talk about yourself, you can ask your partner open-ended questions (What…? When…? Where…? How…?) because people love talking about themselves.

8. WOMEN SHOULD TALK IN A HIGHER-PITCHED VOICE

Ladies, you can now be confident speaking in your high-pitched voice and not worry because studies have shown that men usually prefer women with high-pitched voice than women whose voice sounds husky and hoarse.

This is because the high-pitched voice conveys a picture in the male’s brain of a woman with smaller body type. Women, on the other hand, prefer men who have deep voices.

9. MEN SHOULD PLAY HARD TO GET

A study published in Psychological Science has found that women are more attracted to a man when they are not sure whether he likes them or not.  

This is because women then start analyzing the situation to find if the guy likes them or not, which results in them not being able to get the guy out of their head thus resulting in the woman really liking the guy. So, guys, create some mystery at the beginning.

10. START MIRRORING YOUR PARTNER

According to many scientific studies, by subtly mimicking your partner’s movement you become more attractive in their eyes because subconsciously they will start perceiving you as empathetic and compassionate.

Bonus tip: Saying their name during the conversation will make them like you more because people love hearing their name – it makes them feel important.

11. BE CONFIDENT

This is probably the most important thing. Having confidence is extremely attractive. Many researchers have found that confidence is the key to attraction.

If you love and care about yourself, the rest will follow. Because the way you treat yourself is the way you teach others how to treat you.  

Everyone warns us that if we spend all our day sitting, be it at home or in the office, it is damaging to our health. Science has proved it, doctors warn us every day, our family does it too.

The question is, if we know this fact, why do we allow our kids to spend 6 or 8 hours sitting still in school?

Now, researchers warn that this school system possesses a series of serious problems, such as:

• By overprotecting our children and trying to keep them safe at all costs, we increase the danger of them getting serious health issues;
• The lack of physical activity makes children more unable to concentrate, which in turn results in reducing their academic growth;
• When children fail to perform in this low-energy schooling mode, we criticize them or even punish them for reacting the way they are supposed to react naturally.

Take for example the little boys.

Most boys are wildly boisterous. They are always moving, playing, running, fighting, jumping, and so on. They are often physically active.

In school, however, they are forced to sit still for 8 straight hours, and when they fail to do so or are not able to concentrate – we punish them by giving them extra homework, or asking them to take extra classes which paradoxically makes them more physically inactive and thus even more prone to underperform.

A research from the University of Eastern Finland has recently tried to find whether boys who were required to sit for long periods of time were less achieving because of the lack of physical activity.

The study included 153 kids, aged from 6 to 8. The researchers behind the study tracked their physical activity and the amount of time they spend sitting during the day. They found that the less physical activity the boys had, the harder it was for them to concentrate and better their reading skills.  

This doesn’t apply to girls, however. Researchers find that this may be because girls are different psychologically from the boys in a way that a girl doesn’t need to move around as much as a boy needs. Plus, the lack of physical activity doesn’t result in a loss of concentration in girls.

And, it is not just about the lowering of the academic success in boys. In fact, scientists say that the physical inactivity can lead to serious consequences both physical and mental in children.  

Angela Hanscom, a pediatric occupational therapist, interviewed small children and asked them what games do they play and what games they like to play. Some of them said that they aren’t allowed to play with certain toys because they were told that they are going to hurt themselves, which is frustrating to them.

With restricting children’s movement like that, they are more prone to experience anger and frustration which further leads to developing aggressive behavior and an inability to control their emotions.

“Elementary children need at least three hours of active free play a day to maintain good health and wellness. Currently, they are only getting a fraction,” Hanscom writes.

Moreover, the children with an ADHD diagnosis is rapidly increasing and the number is higher than ever. Why is that? For one thing, it is because the definition of ADHD has expanded. And, for another thing, the reason is that we restrict kids’ movement which results with them reacting the way nature intended them to.

Let’s face it – we don’t allow children to play outdoors as much as they did in the past. This may be because they now have more homework and more activities that they need to do that their free time for playing is reduced.

And this is a problem indeed which can lead to serious health and psychological issues in children as they grow up because they are not moving as much as they need to.

The solution?

The first one would be to make an incentive for school teachers to start introducing more physical activity in their classes. Even though it is easier for teachers to control the class if they all were quietly sitting, this is in no way beneficial to them.

And, allowing kids to move around the classroom and be more physically active will result in less fidgety and more concentrated kids.  

Emotional intelligence is a wonderful gift that many should possess in high quantities. However, people who are able to master emotions can rob others of their capacities to reason.

A study led by University of Toronto psychologist Stéphane Côté has discovered that people with self-serving motives, or the Machiavellians, can use emotional intelligence as their main weapon of manipulation.

Professor Martin Kilduff from the University College of London explains that people who possess a higher emotional intelligence are able to express a set of emotions that are advantageous to the situation while disguising those who aren’t.

As Kilduff writes, these people can “intentionally shape their emotions to fabricate favorable impressions of themselves,” in order to achieve a favorable turn of events where power and influence are traded.

So, how to recognize the emotional manipulation techniques that these people use, and how to fight them back? Here are 11 techniques these manipulators use.

1. Asking a lot of questions

Asking questions is the key to good communication in many situations, but manipulators know how to use its dark side to their advantage. It’s really easy to talk about yourself, which means that they won’t find it hard to lead you to expose some of your weaknesses.

How to fight it back: You shouldn’t be afraid if people want to know you better, but you should be very cautious if you see that the other person is not willing to reveal the same kind of information about themselves. The manipulator will never let you have a look into their weaknesses. 

2. Using negative humor to poke at your weaknesses

The manipulators will use all the knowledge of your weaknesses to disempower you, and they will it mask it in a joking manner, so you can’t use this against them. Be it about something you have revealed about yourself, or because you were 2 minutes late at work and out of breath, they will always try to take advantage of the situation and use it against you.

How to fight it back: We all have weaknesses, and allowing your weaknesses to conquer your strong sides is something you should always avoid. Their effort is exactly this, so instead of accepting this, smile back and show them that it doesn’t make you any less of a person because of that. 

3. Taking advantage of your happiness

A crafty manipulator will give you a small incentive for happiness just to catch you in their trap. They are aware that people are more agreeable when they are in a good mood, so they use their state of happiness to lure them into agreeing and jumping to opportunities without looking into them first.

How to fight it back: You need to be aware of your positive emotions as much as you need to be aware of your negative ones. Recognize them, accept them, and don’t get carried away. And when you get to a moment when you need to make a decision, balance yourself and weigh it out before doing or saying anything.

4. Using reciprocity to their advantage

They’ll give you something small, they’ll do something for you, they’ll give you a compliment, and with it, they are aware that you are less likely to say no. So, after they’ve bought you with little, they will ask you for something big – and it’s very likely that you’ll play along.

How to fight it back: It’s nice to give, and it’s much more pleasurable than to receive – but knowing your limits is always paramount. Sometimes you’ll have to say no, regardless of the fact that you have received a small favor. Reciprocity doesn’t mean that you have to give your all because you received some small incentive. 

5.Giving you very limited time to act

The key to good manipulation is luring the target into a seemingly reasonable or good commitment and giving them very little time to give their final answer. With this, you don’t have enough time to think about the downsides of it, and you are forced to go with it or reject it. So, the manipulator will present it to you through enough advantages and then cut your reasoning by shortening the time you need to think about the offer.

How to fight it back: Always consider that offers should be accepted after you have put some thought into them. So, if the other person doesn’t give you that time, it’s very likely that the offer is not all that magical as it may sound and that they don’t want you to discover that before you get tricked into such commitment. Simply say no if they are not willing to allow you to think it through.

6. Operating on their turf

Manipulators like to operate in a place where they dominate and keep things under control, like their office, their home, or any other place where you might feel less comfortable than them. With this, they have the upper hand in the situation and they can easily play you for a fool.

How to fight it back: Try to make negotiations with people on a neutral terrain, where they won’t feel superior. If you have to go on their turf, ask for a glass of water and engage in small talk before anything else.

7. Speaking quickly

To gain the upper hand, manipulators will like to confuse you or dissociate themselves from you by speaking quickly or using special jargon or vocabulary. This way, they create a gap in communication which they can later use to their advantage.

How to fight it back: Don’t allow them to try to create such dissociation and always ask for explanations or a simple repeat. You can even interpret their statements in your own words and ask them for some examples. This will allow you to regain control of the conversation.

8. Deceiving

Manipulators will often try to hide the truth they find undesirable and they will prefer to tell you only one side of the story, or take things out of context and glue them to other things to make them seem true. They will be ready to spread rumors and gossip, or pervert someone’s good intentions to gain a strategic advantage.

How to fight it back: It’s very important that you never believe everything you hear. Trust reputable sources and always ask for clarification when some details seem fuzzy. Which is more, don’t rely on gossip and rumors.

9. Playing on fear

Fear is one of the strongest driving forces in our lives. Manipulators know that fear makes us jump into action, so they use it very well. They like to exaggerate facts and overemphasize the negative points of a story to make you feel like you are in genuine danger, just to make you jump into the action they want you to take.

How to fight it back: Everything has a positive and a negative side to it. Being able to see the big picture is very important. And not giving in to fear and the idea that you are lacking courage is even more important. Be careful if the sentences are riddled with negativity and the sense that they are intentionally focusing on the aspects that promote the feeling of fear. 

10. Displaying negative emotions

The best way to manipulate your emotions for some manipulators is to purposefully use strong body language that implies to negative emotions, as well as raise their voice, and emphasize their negative emotional state. The point? Tossing you into a different emotional state.

How to fight it back: Silence is golden in these cases. When you see someone jumping up and down, take a pause before reacting. You can even walk away for a minute and get back if you have to, but only after you have let go of the negativity that was never yours.

11. Giving the silent treatment

When facing a manipulator, if you have been made to wait when you were supposed to receive a response to a reasonable call, text message, email, or other things, it was because the manipulator had the intention to make you feel uncertain and doubtful about the thing you announced. They are using this head game as a form of leverage.

How to fight it back: Give them a deadline, if there is no reasonable communication. If there is no alternative, get into a discussion with them and see what changes need to be made in the way you communicate. In either way, don’t doubt yourself.

Source: Inc.