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Strong Women Would Rather Be Alone Than Waste Time With Assholes

Let’s not mince words here, dating can be fun and amazing. However, more often than not, it is just a waste of time. Can you count all the failed relationships in your life? I’m sure that most of them ended because of a jerk who didn’t call you back or stopped respecting you.

The truth is: You don’t need that!

You don’t need to wait for someone to call you or ask someone to respect you. You don’t need a person who will lie to you or a person who wants you to change.

I know, he is gorgeous and sexy and you know that nobody is perfect so maybe you could just give him one more chance. He’ll change, you say to yourself. But the reality is: he probably won’t! Everyone has flaws, but cheating and lying are choices. Choices that he made consciously. You don’t need that.

Everyone has flaws, but cheating and lying are choices. Choices that he made consciously. You don’t need that.

From my experience, it looks like most of the available good-looking guys are jerks. That’s why I decided not to take the risk and I’m staying single until I’m sure that I’ve found a genuinely great guy. And honestly, I enjoy being single.

It’s great to do whatever you want every single day. Nobody judges me when I spend hours doing my nails or stay at home during the weekend just to watch reality shows.

And another thing – I don’t miss a guy in my life. I realized that looking for the right guy is not so important as it seemed to me before. Now I know that being alone is not the same as feeling lonely. You can feel lonely even if you are in a relationship. Being alone is liberating!

I don’t need another cute guy who will turn out to be a douchebag. I don’t want that! I want to be myself and do the things I like. I feel free to explore and conquer the world!

Nothing can stop me now. After many experiences with douchebags, no guy can fool me into going along that road again. I know that all of them are fun at the beginning, but that doesn’t prove that they are good guys.

That is why I address this text to all the girls who had a jerk in their lives. You don’t deserve that! You are powerful, free-willed and independent and you can be whatever you want in your life.

You don’t need a guy to succeed or travel the world. Especially not an asshole who puts out the fire in you.

Don’t allow to be fooled by the puppy-eye look or the sweet words. You know what he did to you! Don’t let him do it again.

Don’t be afraid to be alone. You don’t need dating to be happy. Happiness is much more than that! It’s feeling comfortable and free.

Even if you choose to date, do it carefully. Do it bearing in mind that you have everything you need – yourself. And don’t forget that all the other guys also seemed perfect at the beginning.

Enjoy living life by yourself. Time goes by very quickly and you don’t want to waste it, do you? At the end, you want to be sure that you’ve had everything you wished for and not feel sorry that you wasted your nerves, energy and time on someone who simply wasn’t worth it.

Always remember that if you don’t love yourself, the others won’t love you either. By loving yourself I mean enjoying life freely and not sacrificing yourself for someone who doesn’t even respect you.

Be strong and fierce, because you have to be, in order to succeed in today’s world. And you don’t need anyone for that.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha

 

Why Netflix & Hulu is Better Than Cable TV?

For years, Cable TV has been ruling households for letting you watch various TV programs, Movies, cartoons etc. However, in recent years, online streaming services have surged up cutting the cord of many Cable TV subscribers.  In fact, as per the reports, there has been a decline in number of Cable TV subscribers (2.05 Million) in US alone in year 2016 and an estimate says 2.11 Million users would stop using cable TV by the end of 2017.

Yes, there are still many shows, which we can only watch on TV, but there are much more and great content provided by these Online streaming sites. Most popular streaming sites today are Netflix and Hulu. Here we will discuss each of them and finally let you know our verdict.

Fact: According to a report, Cable TV is dying as people are moving toward video on demand platform. Cord cutting revolution is coming.

Netflix

Netflix can be said to be the pioneer in providing online streaming services to the users. It is so much in people’s mind that while you say online streaming sites, people say Netflix. With most wide array of media content and original programs, Netflix has been able to capture the market worldwide

 The first plan starts with $7.99, the second is of $9.99 and the premium plan is of $11.99. This means only spending $8-$12 per month you would be able to have access to movies, TV shows, Documentaries, Netflix original programs etc.

As per the reports, Netflix has closed to over 93 million users by the end of 2016. Keeping paid plans aside, there are many legal free movie sites where one can have ball of a time.

Hulu

The best alternative to your cable TV is Hulu. Said to be the pioneer in Live TV programming, Hulu lets you enjoy all the latest episodes of your favourite TV shows as it airs on television. With talks going on around with major networks like HBO, Hulu has been able to garner robust users who can view TV shows, Movies, sports, original programs etc on Hulu. 

With subscription plans ranging from $8 to $12 per month, it is comparatively cheaper option for cable TV users. In fact, Huluers are benefited with original programs and recent movies also. Hulu though launched much later has been able to gain over 12 million subscriptions till 2016. 

Cable TV

The true friend since all decades has been your Cable TV. You can watch cartoon, cookery shows, TV series, movies, sports etc on your cable TV. Each month you need to get a subscription, which can be extended for annual plans as well. The traditional and best medium to watch anything is cable TV and there are several people who are not ready to get the switch from cable to Online streaming websites.

Hulu & Netflix Over Cable TV

Now the times have changed. With requirement of cable connection to a TV, Cable TV has been proving quite a hefty deck in your pocket. Yes, you might not be able to cut the cord thinking all the shows are still not available to watch on real time. However, with passing time these streaming apps will take place of your TV. Cable TVs are just like Dinosaurs who are on the verge of extinct. Even if we go for alternative of Cable TV like SlingTv, DirecTV or others, they cost us somewhere around $20 to $75 each month. 

Also you cannot carry your Cable TV everywhere with you restricting your area of viewing. Streaming apps like Netflix and Hulu gives you the flexibility and convenience of watching the shows and movies on mobile phones, tablets or even on smart TVs. This simply states that Cable TV is no more fruitful– Cost wise and even mobility wise.

5 Differences Between A Soulmate And A Life Partner

As humans, we all long for finding the perfect partner in life or what some like to call a “soulmate”. What most of us fail to realize is that both of these terms are not the same thing.

Soulmates are individuals who come into our lives to shake them up, tear us down to our core, help us feel a bit more deeply, and teach us a valuable lesson.

Once the lesson has been learned, our soulmates usually have done their deed and oftentimes disappear into the moonlight.

On the other hand, life partners are those who stay with us either for a significant amount of time, or for the rest of our lives. They not only teach us, but stay with us along the way.

In modern day, we tend to believe that we are most compatible with those who share our interests and live by our values. Dr. John Gottman, founder of The Gottman Institute in Seattle, stated that, “measures of personality are incapable of truly predicting the length or success of a relationship,” challenging this belief.

He revealed that couples who tend to center their energy on building meaningful relationships have proven to last the longest.

He states that, “how a couple interacts is the single, most fundamental aspect to creating a successful relationship.

Meaning, it’s not who you are or what you do that will prolong or help you find the perfect mate. It’s how you speak to each other, how well you get along, and how you move through time together.”

Notwithstanding, five major differences prove how dissimilar soulmates and life partners really are.

  1. The profound attraction that stands the test of time

As Tarryn Fisher quotes in Mud Vein, “What’s the difference?” I asked him. “Between the love of your life, and your soulmate?” “One is a choice, and one is not.”

Soulmates come into our lives unannounced, like a storm in a clear sky. However, when we meet them, we feel as if we have known them forever, from a past life.

They are those who seem to understand us and know us best, even without the need to explain ourselves. It’s as if they come from the same background and have gone through very similar experiences as us.

This creates an instant, compelling magnetism that can last a lifetime. In most cases, these type of relationships cause the greatest hurt, as they tear us down to a fault.

The attraction is so resilient and powerful; you cannot help but get sucked in. On the contrary, life partners are quite the opposite. When you meet your life partner, you notice the differences, but like them in spite of them.

Those very differences awaken a mystery inside of us, leaving us wanting to know more. Getting to know someone is a process that eventually turns into a trusting friendship that stands the test of time.

The friendship, combined with love that grows along with both of you, can be quite a magical experience.

2. The attraction is not only spiritual and emotional, but intuitive as well

When two souls meet, hence making both individuals soulmates, they understand each other like never before. You do not need to communicate everything with your soulmate, as both of you are connected in a more intuitive sense.

Both of you know what the other is feeling, without needing words to express it. However, life partners take a completely different stand. They do not use intuition to guide the, but rather intellect and pure rationality.

Here, instead of two souls meeting, we have two physiques meet and connect on a different level. Life partners tend to be more stable and down to earth, unlike soulmates.

  1. The differences in the two connections are profound

Upon meeting our soulmate, we experience a profound and highly intense connection, one that is impossible to explain. These connections tend to shed off our layers and touch the very core part of our hearts.

But at the same time, they bring our egos and flaws into the light, in turn causing chaos and havoc. In most cases, they end in broken hearts, left to be mended by time.

These are usually periods in our lives where we are forced to face ourselves, as soulmates tend to mirror us and reflect both our flights and downfalls, flaws and qualities.

As humans, it is only a natural phenomenon to try to fight this. However, at the end of the day, we come to terms with the fact that it is time for change.

Once the change has taken place and we have learned to brush off our egos, we start to live a life of true acceptance. This s when our life partners take the stand.

Our egos no longer need to be fed, as we are fulfilled all on our own. Life partners compliment us rather than complete us.

  1. Soulmates are here to teach us a significant life lesson

Soulmates do not necessarily need to be our significant others. They may come in the form of friends or family as well.

Their “role”, if you will, is to teach us a valuable lesson by breaking us into so many tiny pieces, we have no choice but to clean up the mess and get ourselves together.

After the lesson has been learned, our soulmates leave the scene and go on with their lives, leaving a wound that needs to be healed. Life partners are looked at from a completely different perspective.

They apprehend our interests, understand and support our lifestyle, if not share it. Life partners are our biggest support systems, cheering us on every step of the way.

They are those who believe in our dreams and help us achieve them. Unlike soulmates, life partners choose to stick around no matter how hard it gets. Ignoring the ego, life partners guide us emotionally and psychologically.

  1. Meeting your soulmate is not only a priceless incident, but the experience of a lifetime

We usually meet our soulmates at times when critical life decisions must be made, which usually involve huge changes. These changes affect the rest of our lives, teaching us valuable lessons.

They are also unforgettable experience, full of turbulence and heartbreak. Most times, we learn a lot about ourselves in the process, as soulmates uncover both the beautiful and ugly sides to us.

This turmoil does not take place once we meet our life partner, as it gets much easier. The learning curve comes on a daily basis, when both sides learn to accept the other and learn from them.

The healthiest of these relationships are those who remain themselves while being one.

This should by no means give the impression that life partners cannot be soulmates and vice versa. To quote Tarryn once more, the main difference between the two is that one of them is a choice, while the other chooses you.

Every person we meet in our lives suits a different purpose, whether to teach us perseverance, love, joy, independence, or merely the fact that everything we experience in life is something learned.

Please share…

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The Mysterious Stone Egg Of Lake Winnipesaukee

Back in 1872, so the story goes, workers that were digging a hole for a fence post near Lake Winnipesaukee, in the central part of this New England state, found a lump of clay that seemed out of place.

There was something inside- an egg shaped artifact was discovered six feet below the ground.

It was a dark, odd-looking, egg-shaped stone with a variety of carvings, including a face, teepee, ear of corn and starlike circles.Called the ‘Mystery Stone’, it is one of New Hampshire’s more curious and lesser known relics.

Description of the Mysterious Stone

The mystery stone egg is approximately 4 inches (10.2cms) long, 2 1/2 inches  (6.4cms) thick, weights eighteen ounces (510.3grams) and has a dark-hue to it.

The egg is hard as granite and it is about the size and shape of a goose egg. The stone is a type of quartzite.

Another curious detail is that there are holes bored in both ends of the stone. According to an analysis done by state officials in 1994, each bore is straight, not tapered and scratches in the lower bore suggest it was placed on a metal shaft and removed several times.

“I’ve seen a number of holes bored in stone with technology that you would associate with prehistoric North America.

There ’s a certain amount of unevenness and this hole was extremely regular throughout. What we did not see was variations that would be consistent with something that was several hundred years old,” said Richard Boisvert, state archaeologist.

In the analysis there are comments from geologist Eugene Boudette, who concluded that the stone is a type of quartzite, derived from sandstone, or mylonite, a fine-grained, laminated rock formed by the shifting of rock layers along faults.

Besides the strange construction and design, what makes the stone even more interesting are bizarre carvings ranging from astronomical symbols to a human face along its smooth egg faced sides.

On one side, the cravings seem to be inverted arrows, a moon with some dots and a spiral, and the other side has an ear of corn with seventeen kernels in the row.

Underneath the egg, there is a circle with three figures; one of which looks like a deer’s leg along with some kind of animal with large ears.

The “third” side shows a tepee with four poles, an oval and a human face which is sunken with a nose that does not rise above the surface of the egg with lips that seem to give the image some kind of purposeful expression.

History of the Lake Winnipesaukee Stone Egg

Seneca A. Ladd, a local businessman who hired the workers, was credited with the discovery of the stone egg.

When the mysterious stone egg was first unveiled to the world, the American Naturalist journal described it as “a remarkable Indian relic.” According to documents and newspaper articles, by 1872 Seneca Ladd had the “egg” in his possession and by 1885, it was notable enough to be reported in the county history book.

Seneca A. Ladd

An article in The American Naturalist said: ‘As Mr. Ladd is quite a naturalist, and has already an extensive private collection of relics and specimens, he was delighted with the new discovery, and exhibited and explained the really remarkable relic with an enthusiasm which only the genuine student can feel’.

Ladd died in 1892, and in 1927, one of his daughters, Frances Ladd Coe of Center Harbor, donated the stone to the New Hampshire Historical Society in the state capital of Concord.

There the stone egg was separated from the Native American 1800’s-era cultural artifacts and items of modern day interest. The stone, which is surrounded by mirrors showing off its symbols, is on display at the Museum of New Hampshire History, where it was last exhibited in 1996.

Controversial Theories on the Origin of The Stone Egg

To date, amateur and professional archaeologists have speculated about the origin of this strange artifact and no one has been able to say for sure about the origin of the ‘Mystery Stone’.

It is possible that the egg has Celtic or Inuit origin and in 1931 a letter was written to the New Hampshire Historical Society suggesting that it was a “thunderstone.”

Also known as “thunderbolts” or “thunder axes,” a thunderstone is a worked stone object, often wedge-shaped like an axe blade, that is alleged to have fallen from the sky.

Stories of thunderstones are found in many cultures and are often associated with a thunder god. The writer in the letter went on to say that such objects ” always present the appearance of having been machine or hand-worked: frequently they come from deep in the earth, embedded in lumps of clay, or even surrounded by solid rock or coral .”

Since the rock type is not familiar to New Hampshire and there are no other known objects bearing similar markings or design in the United States, it is supposed that it may have been the work of someone living in a faraway place and time.

These hypotheses have failed to impress the masses, and so skeptics on both sides gathered for deeper analysis in the late 20th century.

A recent analysis suggested that the hole through the stone was too precise to have been crafted by ancient peoples so it must be a hoax.

However, what can be said for certain is an unknown craftsman, likely in the mid to late 1800s, carved this strange egg shaped object, and that is has been a source fascination since.

Today, you can visit the New Hampshire Historical Society to see the stone for yourself and decide in what you will believe.

Sources:
http://theunexplainedmysteries.com/Lake_Winnipesaukee_mystery_stone.html
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/new-englands-mystery-stone/
http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/lake-winnipesaukee-mystery-stone
http://www.oddthingsiveseen.com/2011/06/mystery-stone-of-lake-winnipesaukee.html
http://www.meta-religion.com/Archaeology/Europe/other/carved_stone.htm
http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/lake-winnipesaukee-mystery-stone
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/new-englands-mystery-stone/
http://www.ancient-origins.net/

Why I Stopped Helping People And You Should Too

Helping people is part of humanity, part of who we are, a strong pillar upon which civilized society is built. It is an act of kindness, a gesture of good will and selflessness, but also a measuring stick used to gauge people as being “good” or “bad”

But have you ever had a good deed backfire on you? Have you ever helped a friend, a colleague, or a relative only to live to regret it in the end?

Off course you have. Perhaps famous blogger CamMi Pham, or rather his mother, put it best:

“My mother taught me never to give unsolicited advice nor try to help anyone unless they ask you for it. I always thought that maybe she was just cold.

As I get older, I have started to realize that she was right. My mother is one of the kindest people in my life.”

Building on his mother’s wisdom, CamMi Pham devised a short list of 3 rules which outline what  types of people are not worthy of and entitled to his help and advice, at least for free.

Rule number 1:

Stop helping people who don’t deserve it.

“Start-up founders often ask me for advice. I know that running a start-up is hard work — I run one myself. However, I have stopped sharing my knowledge for free. Previously, people would constantly ask me out for a coffee just to ‘pick my brain’.

“But those who have a few million dollars raised from venture capital funds lying in their bank accounts shouldn’t be allowed to use my expertise for free, especially if they didn’t even bother paying for my tea. It’s not acceptable!”

Rule number 2:

Don’t help people who do not appreciate your help.

This rule basically tells you to save your good deeds and advice for people who’ll recognise and appreciate your efforts to try and help them.

Here’s an example of the type of people CamMi Pham is talking about:

“One of my former clients wasn’t doing well. My team spent several days analyzing all the data to figure out what the problem was. That wasn’t actually part of our job, so we didn’t bill the client. As a result, we found some serious flaws in their business model and strategy. But as soon as we showed the customer our findings, they fired us on the spot,” he said.

“We did that analysis out of compassion for the client. But we told them what they didn’t want to hear and ended up making our client hate us for giving our professional opinion.”

According to him, the easiest way to turn your friend into an enemy is to offer them advice they don’t want to hear.

“If I offer someone my help, I actually want to help. But very often, people are not ready to accept my help. It’s okay,” CamMi Pham explained.

Rule number 3:

Stop helping people unless you’re certain that you carry out the task

For the sake of everyone, refrain from offering your help in matters where you are not skilled enough and can’t deliver.

It will do more harm than good and could permanently damage your relationship with the other side. Moreover, by offering to help yourself, you will only deprive people of the opportunity to find a better candidate.

CamMi Pham provides us with another plastic example from his personal life to demonstrate the implications of such action.

 “A few years ago, my parents were out of the country and asked me to look after their house. I agreed, although I had no idea how to water the plants. So some of the flowers were watered too much and others were given too little water,” he said.

“By the time my parents returned, all the houseplants had died. If they hadn’t asked me for help, someone who is good at housekeeping would have done it, and my dad’s flowers would have been alive. Ever since, my parents have never let me touch the plants again.”

SHARE,SHARE,SHARE …

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If You Wake Up At The Same Time Every Night, It Can Reveal Incredible Things About You

Waking up without an alarm clock at the same time during the night consecutively might be something you need to pay closer attention to.

During sleep, several processes take place and according to traditional Chinese medicine, there is a strict schedule which the body follows through the day and the night.

This schedule has got to do a lot with the flow of energy through the body and each organ, emotion and process in general has its peak period.

When the energy comes to an obstacle, the body reacts in effort to remove the blockage and this is why you may be waking up during the night.

If this happens often, then you should pay closer attention to the process in question.

TROUBLE SLEEPING BETWEEN 9:00 PM AND 11:00 PM

This period is the most common period when people go to bed. Having trouble falling asleep between 9:00 pm and 11:00 pm indicates excess stress and worries. This is the time you should relax and let go of the problems, set them aside to face tomorrow.

Try meditating, repeating a positive mantra or just doing some light exercise to relax you. This will surely help you to fall asleep.

WAKING UP BETWEEN 11:00 PM AND 03:00 AM

Waking up during this time indicates two things.

In the first case the liver is overwhelmed by the detoxing process, which means you should reduce the toxins you intake to give your liver a break.

The other reason is on an emotional basis, particularly triggered by emotional disappointment. If this is happening to you, practice self-love, self-acceptance and forgiveness towards yourself and others.

WAKING UP BETWEEN 03:00 AM AND 05:00 AM

This period of the day is associated with the energy meridian that passes the lungs. The blockage that could occur in this flow may be created by the emotion of sadness. If you wake up in this period, try some slow, deep breathing and express faith in your Higher Power.

This region (the lungs and heart) is connected to your Higher Power. Waking up during this time of the night might indicate that you are being alerted by your Higher Power to pay attention to the messages that are being sent to you.

It means that you are ready to align yourself with your higher purpose and that you need to notice the signs.

Read more below about this important occurrence.

WAKING UP BETWEEN 05:00 AM AND 07:00 AM

During this time of the morning, the energy flow is greatly focused in the large intestines. It may be blocked by suppressed negative emotions.

Try stretching yourself or using the restroom to help yourself go back to sleep.

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

When we suddenly wake up in the night, the part of the brain that is responsible for decision making and self control, the prefrontal cortex, is not awake yet. This renders you incapable of intelligent thoughts, so avoid making any important decisions.

FULFILLING YOUR HIGHER PURPOSE AND WAKING UP BETWEEN 03:00 AM AND 05:00 AM

Sleep is the optimal time for your subconscious to emerge and reveal details about yourself and thoughts that have occupied you during the day.

It is also the time when you communicate with your Higher Power and receive messages from the divine inside you.

Having in mind that this period of the night is the time when the energy flow is focused in the region of the heart and lungs, you need to know this:

The heart and lung area possesses an energetic center which is the bridge between the material and spiritual characteristics that make you up. It is also the center which communicates with your Higher Power and the Divine.

When a strong message arrives in this center, waking up is as natural as it can be, as your physical body is also woken up from the intensity of the message.

Messages of great importance are the only ones that are so intense, and if you are triggered into waking up by them, it means you should pay attention to them.

This doesn’t mean that you will receive a ‘message’ in the literal sense, but that you will need to start paying attention to the signs you have been receiving for some time, or have started receiving them.

Whether you believe in ascension or not, if you start paying attention to those certain signs during the day, you will find that you are experiencing a shift in your consciousness.

In the end, you will discover the logic it holds over your life and the changes you may be going through.

Have you or people you know have had this experience? Share and let them know!

The 12 Countries With The World’s Best Healthcare Systems

In order to claim that one country is prosperous and well developed we have to provide a firm evidence of it. For that reason the Legatum Institute from London exists.

It’s an organization which compares how developed the counties are based on 104 variables. The most important component of the ranking is how the health system in one country works and how healthy its citizens are.

They measure how healthy the people are by three key components: health infrastructure, the basic mental and physical health in the country and how available is the preventative care.

According to their 10th annual global Prosperity Index released in November, not surprisingly, the countries ranked as the world’s healthiest are the best developed economies in the world.

Following, the 12 top countries with the world’s best healthcare systems:

1. Luxembourg

It has one of the best healthcare systems in Europe with a first – rate healthcare covering each citizen with basic medical coverage and all citizens have the right to choose their doctor, specialist and hospital. The country’s average life expectancy is 82.

2. Singapore

Its healthcare system ensures the population with primary healthcare, hospital care, long-term care and other integrated care. Singapore’s 5.6 million citizens have an average life expectancy of 83.1 years old.

3. Switzerland

Switzerland is a rich country. There are no free state-provided health services, but private health insurance is obligatory for all persons inhabiting the country.

4. Japan

The country’s life expectancy — 83.7 — is the highest on the planet. All residents of Japan are required by the law to have health insurance coverage.

5. Netherlands

They spend around 11.2 percent of GDP (gross domestic product) on health. In 2015 the Netherlands gained the number one spot at the top of the annual Euro health consumer index, which compares healthcare systems in Europe, scoring 916 of a maximum 1,000 points.

6. Sweden

Health care in Sweden is largely tax-funded, a system that ensures everyone equal access to health care services. Swedish men have the 4th highest life expectancy of any nation, living to an average of 80.7 years.

7. Hong Kong

Hong Kong has 11 private and 42 public hospitals to serve its population of just over 7.2 million people. In 2012, women in Hong Kong had the longest average life expectancy.

8. Australia

Australia is ranked as the healthiest nation in the southern hemisphere whose average life expectancy is 82.8, the 4th highest in the world.

9. Israel

Every inhabitant of Israel is insured for healthcare under the National Health Insurance Law, through payment of monthly premiums to the National Insurance Institute. The country has the 8th highest life expectancy on the planet, 82.5 years.

10. Germany

Germans are some of the world’s healthiest people. The country’s average life expectancy is 81. It is obligatory to be insured when living, working or studying in Germany.

11. BelgiumWith an average age of 81.1, Belgium’s life expectancy is just outside the world’s top 20. In Belgium, health insurance is mandatory. Basic cover is provided by the national social security system.

12. New Zealand

It has an average life expectancy of 81.6 years. Its residents and some work visa holders benefit from a public health system that is free or low cost thanks to heavy Government subsidies.

Source: 
The Legatum Prosperity Index™ Rankings

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Parents Who Raise Good Kids Do These 5 Things

people who are good with kids

Times have changed greatly and with new times come new habits, sets of behavior and attitudes that seem very different from the ones we were used to when we were kids.

Today’s generations are all geared up with the newest technology that seems to distract them from the need to go out and play, socialize in the ways we used to or just spend time having fun. 

The challenges vary in many ways, but the main things is that today’s parents raise their children way more differently than they were raised and the outcome of those parents’ care is the greatest challenge.

Will my kid learn to be a complete person, the one who pushes forward and a person with good manners, who can bond and communicate with others freely and openly?

Every parent asks the same questions: Am I missing something? Am I doing everything right? Will my child succeed in life?

Am I Good Parent For My Child?

All these questions linger inside the head of every parent, no matter how old their child is. Parenting tips are literally never enough, so having a parenting guide by your night stand is always gonna come in handy.

You can never say you’ve read too many parenting guides and you know everything there is to know because parenting is art on its own. It changes and fluctuates. It’s never fixed, and perhaps, that’s the beauty of it.
Amid all those question marks and doubtful thinking, the ultimate question remains: How to raise good kids? Even better yet, how to be a good parent?

You are trying so hard, yet feel like you could still learn a secret or two. Knowledge never hurt nobody, right?

To find answers to your questions as well as the ultimate parenting tips you need, just scroll down. 

How To Raise Good Kids? 

Psychologists at Harvard University have thought of the same questions and have found that there are several elements that are still very important and basic for every kid’s childhood. The key to upbringing a well-adjusted child in these changing times is not as complicated as you may think.

5 Secret Parenting Tips To Raising Good Kids, According to Harvard Psychologists:

1. SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN

It’s not enough just to be physically around your kid – you need to be with them completely. This means that no Xbox console or new iPhone can replace the bonding that the child truly needs. By communicating with them openly, listening carefully and doing the things they like together, your child will not only love you more, but will also learn how to be a considerate and caring person, and remember their childhood a positive experience.

This is the foundation of it all. Your kid would very much prefer (above everything else) having a real person to talk to and to share ideas and experiences with, even if they may not seem aware of it.

Being a good parent means asking your kid how their day went, listening carefully, and discussing the dilemmas they may have in their head – be careful not to ‘dogmatize’ lessons from your experiences though, they need to experience these things through their own perspective. We’ll talk about this later in this article.

See what their favorite things are and try to learn from them how to play the games they like – they would enjoy sharing their ‘fun’ with you!

Read them a book before bed (or do it together during the day if they are in the mood for it). Just be around them completely and acknowledge their emotions.

Practically speaking:

Devote some time of your day to play their favorite games with them;
Read them a bedtime story and enjoy the whole story with them;
Ask them questions about their day, include questions like:         What was the best part of your day? The hardest part? What’s something nice someone did for you today? What’s something nice you did?  What’s something you learned today – in school or outside school?

2. LET YOUR KIDS SEE A STRONG MORAL ROLE MODEL AND MENTOR IN YOU

Children learn the most from their surroundings, especially at a younger age. What you do is what they will become. This is why you should always pay close attention to your manners and actions and be ready to admit faults and mistakes. Show your child that you care and that you are ready to accept your faults and work on them.

The result you wish to see in your child comes from the effort you put into yourself on this one. Practice fairness, honesty, and care for yourself. This picture will teach your kid to do the same habits. The key to all this is to talk these things through with your child.

Acknowledging your mistakes, especially those that involve your kid in them, and speak openly about these things.

The aim is to show your child good manners, humility, and honesty. With that, they will feel a lot more comforted and encouraged to look to a positive outcome in their problems.

Your child will look up to you only if you earn their trust and respect. Achieving this is showing your child that you are as human as you can be, and that comes with faults too.

Practically speaking:

Admit your mistakes, apologize and show that you wish to make up for them and plan to avoid it next time.
Tell your child how you plan to avoid that mistake and what you learned from it.
Make time for yourself and re-energize yourself during that time. You will need that energy to be more attentive to and caring with others.

3. TEACH YOUR CHILD TO CARE FOR OTHERS AND SET HIGH ETHICAL EXPECTATIONS

Your child needs to socialize and bond with others in the right way. Caring for others’ happiness and avoiding selfishness can bring a lot of benefits to your child’s future.

As the findings from Harvard say, “It’s very important that children hear from their parents and caretakers that caring about others is a top priority and that it is just as important as their own happiness.

Even though most parents and caretakers say that their children being caring is a top priority, often children aren’t hearing that message.”

This comes with holding your children to high ethical expectations. Be ready to honor their commitments. Teach them to do the right thing even when it’s hard and be a role model for this. It’s simple: you need to justify whatever you say to them with your actions.

Responsibilities and obligations are something you always need to remind your child of. They come in every shape even from early age: chores, school responsibilities, manners, friends, and promises.

Be sure to remind them that they are not alone and that others have expectations from them that they need to be ready to fulfill because they can.

Practically speaking:

Change the message you send them on a daily basis from “The most important thing is that you are happy” to “The most important thing is that you’re kind and you’re happy.”
Encourage your kid to ‘work it out’ before deciding whether they should quit a sports team, band or friendship. Ask them to consider the consequences their action may have on the others and encourage them to work the problem out before abandoning it.

4. ENCOURAGE KIDS TO PRACTICE APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE

Our 4th of the parenting tips states: A child that’s not spoiled is a child that acknowledges the roles of others in their life in a healthy way. This acknowledgment comes with appreciation for the people who contribute to their lives.

Gratitude is a two-way road with wonderful effects. People who practice gratitude on a regular basis are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate and forgiving. They are also more likely to be happy and healthy.

Let their habit start by learning from your actions. Be ready to show gratitude for something nice they do for you – but be careful!

Showing a lot of gratitude for things they are supposed to do will spoil them! As the Harvard psychologists say, “real responsibilities.”

“Expect children to routinely help, for example, with household chores and siblings, and only praise uncommon acts of kindness. When these kinds of routine actions are simply expected and not rewarded, they’re more likely to become ingrained in everyday actions.”

Practically speaking:

Encourage your child to be grateful on a regular basis. Be ready to receive gratitude for your extraordinary acts of kindness and generosity towards them.
Encourage to express appreciation towards family members, teachers, or others who contribute to their lives.
Be grateful.

5. TEACH THEM TO SEE THE BIG PICTURE

A common fact is that children empathize with and care about a small circle of families and friends. This is a very normal thing, of course, but the real challenge is to teach kids to start thinking about people outside that circle.

This larger circle could include a new kid in class, other people who work in his/her school, a person who doesn’t speak your language or anyone who lives in a distant country. Children need to know how their thoughts and actions can impact a community.

As the study shows, “It is important that children learn to zoom in, listening closely and attending to those in their immediate circle, and to zoom out, taking in the big picture and considering the range of people they interact with every day.”

 Practically speaking:

Encourage your child to consider the perspectives and feelings of others, especially those who may be vulnerable. Give them simple ideas for taking action, such as comforting a kid who was teased or reaching out to the new kid in class.
Discuss engaging topics about some people’s hardships, like different experiences of children in other countries or communities.
Childhood is the period of life when most of our personality is shaped. That’s why you should start paying attention to their development, the best way you possibly can – by helping them understand the main things that make them complete persons.

BONUS PARENTING TIPS:

DON’T MAKE YOUR CHILD EXCEPTION TO EVERY RULE

Perhaps you have stumbled upon the expression raising conscientious children in literature, but you may have dished out that helpful reminder thinking that’s up to your child to learn and practice through life, but that’s where you are wrong.

Conscientiousness is up to you a great deal – especially during a child’s teenage years. What does this mean? Not defending or justifying your child when they’ve done something morally or ethically wrong, otherwise, you are feeding their ego and sense of self-righteousness, which can lead to crippling setbacks later on in their life.

Conscientious children tend to cope well in adulthood, for they are more aware of how the real world works. They haven’t been justified whenever they did something bad and they are aware that actions have consequences. Overprotected children, in turn, may grow up having a distorted moral compass and common sense, and will chose shortcuts and short-term payoffs over honest work and long-term gratifications.

As a parent, avoid bending the rules so they serve your child, thinking that with that you are protecting their future and well-being because adult happiness doesn’t arise from overprotection. Rather, it comes from children learning the rules and conforming to them so they grow into well-formed, down-to-earth adults who don’t think the world owes them a living.

RESIST DOING FOR THEM WHAT THEY CAN DO FOR THEMSELVES

While parental participation and involvement can increase goodwill, achievement, communication and help develop a sense of community for the child, you always need to have a balance. How much involvement is too involvement?

You cannot be doing every tiny easy little chore for the child nor redo everything they’ve done because a) you will make your child lazy and spoiled or b) you will suffocate their confidence and they’ll end up thinking nothing they do is ever good enough (which then lingers form their early, formative years all the way through adulthood).

PARENTING GUIDE FOR EFFECTIVE PRESCHOOL PARENTING

Develop routines

Steel is shaped while hot. Mark this rule as important in your parenting tips genesis because for your kid to grow into a responsible and diligent person, you need to teach them core values and combine them with a daily routine, so they don’t start procrastinating or slacking off.

That means personal hygiene, getting dressed independently, picking up after themselves, limited time spent online, some sports activities after screen time, and so on. Routines and adhering to a schedule are good for building discipline. 

Bully proof  your child

A whopping 49.9% of children aged 9-12 have reported bullying at school, so to prevent that from happening you need to armor your child long before they start going to school.

Raise your child’s awareness about bullying and prevent them from becoming a victim or a bully from an early age because bullying does not stop at school only. Online bullying and after-school bullying are still a reality.

Assign chores

Make your child feel important and capable. Assign them simple chores to activate them; chores like pouring their own milk, putting their toys back in the box, washing their teeth, etc.

Encourage cooperation and teamwork

You don’t want your child riding solo and going against the world, do you? Teach them from a preschool age the importance of collaboration and team spirit.

Make everyday fun

Whenever you are doing something together, play some music in the background. Make your own music band and rock together. Be messy when you draw, draw yourselves as mighty superheroes,  make the most delicious Halloween cookies together… have your own inner jokes or awards after completing every milestone.  

That way, your child can have a good example to learn from when they become a parent. Showing love, care, and dedication will free your child from depressive episodes, frustrations, and self-destructive behavior. A happy child is a happy adult, remember!

PARENTING TIPS FOR TEENAGE CHILDREN

You are a parent AND a friend

Curfews, tyrant parents that say no to everything and restrict everything are the death of a thriving, meaningful child-parent relationship.

Be understanding. Let your child express their opinion. Let them have their voice in the family. Let them be heard. Let them make their choices. A child that trusts you, your reactions, and understanding, will have the confidence to tell you anything.

Similarly, a child that has freedom will never violate it, but to be a good parent, you need to show that you can hear first, react, or make assumptions second.

Make eating one meal together a rule

This is perhaps one of the most important parenting tips that gets swayed under the carpet. No matter how busy you all are during the day ALWAYS make sure you have at least one mean together. Around the table, chit-chatting.

Ask questions and show interest

As grown-ups, we tend to lose our energy; it gets sucked from poor working conditions, biased bosses, and average salaries. It gets lost amidst the everyday, so much that we forget we are… PARENTS!

A good parent shows curiosity, asks questions, and shows that they really care. Don’t go asking the same routine questions because teenagers can small fake miles away. Listen. Really listen because teenagers will sense when you are drifting off in your thoughts.

Try to notice the authenticity in your child, try to spark their joy with your affection and dedication, and you are 5 steps ahead in the game!

Parenting tips are there to be shared. And sharing is caring!

Source:
Making Caring Common Project – Harvard University.

Here Is Why Overthinking Is The Root Of All Your Problems

“Overthinking will not empower you over things that are beyond your control. So, let it be if it is meant to be and cherish the moment.” ― Mahsati A

The brain is wired to think all day, every day. Even when we are sleeping, the brain does not rest entirely. However, not taking time to rest the brain at all, results in not being present.

When we are not present, the brain goes into default mode, which is when the decision-making part of your brain does not work quite well.

According to recent research conducted on the human brain and how overthinking influences it, they have concluded that the default mode network is a group of brain regions that express lower levels of activity while we are involved in a certain undertaking, while higher levels happen during waking hours and we are not engaged in any particular mental task.

This usually happens during overthinking, and has links to default mode and mental disorder such as schizophrenia, depress and anxiety.

Psychology Professor at the University of Michigan, Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, discovered that overthinking usually happens in middle aged and young adults, ranging from 25-35 years of age.

This makes up 73% of the total number. Of course, women tend to overthink more than men do; hence, the ratio for this research was 57% of women and 43% of men.

The mind, much like a small child, pertains to the idea that we must have everything here and now, impatiently thinking about how to go about achieving it.

Allowing the brain to be in the constant state of anxiety due to impatience can lead to anger, depression and overthinking, which are all toxic to your mental health.

Below are 11 quotes which can assure you that overthinking is unnecessary:

1. Overthinking is the art of creating problems that weren’t even there.

2. Overthinking is the biggest cause of unhappiness.

3. A quiet mind is able to hear intuition over fear.

3. Dear mind, please stop thinking so much at night. I need sleep.

4. Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

5. Stop worrying about what can go wrong, and get excited about what can go right.

6. Before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try!

7. There is nothing in this world that can trouble you as much as your own thoughts.

8. Don’t ruin a new day by thinking about yesterday. Let it go.

9. You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your false thoughts.

10. Stop overthinking. You can’t control everything, let it be.

So, how to stop overthinking? Here are some ideas:

  1. Try repeating peaceful phrases and words

When you are overthinking, what thoughts come to your mind? Most of the time, your thoughts are occupied around your responsibilities for the day, or even what someone said that angered you.

At times, we tend to bring ourselves down by dwelling on it. For example, we may say things like, why someone said what he or she said. People don’t think twice what they say and why, so why should you?

This usually happens due to all the negativity around us and retaining a stable positive mindset is not as easily said than done. Nevertheless, there are things you can do to turn the negative words and over thinking by repeating peaceful words.

Once you have caught yourself overthinking or worrying, stop and replace the thoughts with peaceful ones that make you feel better. Try whatever works.

Despite not entirely quieting the mind, it does stop overthinking for a while, slows down the mind, and helps in focusing in the moment. Words can be used for many things, like bringing you a peace of mind.

  1. Meditation

Many people have turned to meditation in times of distress, depression and overthinking. For one, it helps end the stream of overthinking and negative thoughts overwhelm your consciousness every second. In this instance, try relocating into a place where stillness takes priority.

You do not always have to shut down your mind so you can meditate. However, it does help make the process easier. Many have found that while meditating, the overthinking stops altogether and peace prevails.

Despite all the facts stated above, there are times you simply cannot stop thinking. In this case, it might be a good idea to try a guided meditation or even yoga. Such rehearses bring mindfulness into the body, making it easier to overcome hardships, stress and overthinking.

  1. Connect with nature

Most people do not live or work in nature, so it may be tough to visit nature on a daily basis. However, these people especially those closed up in offices need it the most.

This is why it is recommended to get out into nature as often as possible. Instead of going to the nearby fast food for lunch, you may want to visit your local park instead. It is a very healthy and healing process to be in nature as much as you can.

Establishing a significant connection with nature will greatly influence and benefit your brain, in turn stop the overthinking.

While in nature, try to ponder on the beauty you see around you, like the leaves on the trees, mountains, the sky or sun – whatever you see around you that may bring you peace of mind. In turn, this will stop your brain right way.

Doing this on a daily basis helps you think more clearly and feel more peacefully.

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10 Life-Changing Lessons From Confucius

Kong Qui, or as we all know him, Confucius (551B.C. – 479 B.C.) was born in the Lu state near China. Records of the Historian claim that he was born in a wealthy family while other accounts claim that he was born in a poor family.

However, one thing which is known for sure is that he lived in China during a period of ideological crisis. 

According to his teachings, preserved in the Analects, Confucius was striving towards better society reached by improved moral, better family and social relationships, justice and sincerity, and improved educational standards for everyone no matter the class.

Confucius had a vision of just and peaceful China. He also had a vision of a better world. According to his teachings that was possible if we follow the rules of the concentric circles system.

The meaning of this theory was that every man must respect himself and behave in a virtuous manner, if one respects himself than he will respect his family, the respect will expand further on the neighbourhood, than on the society, nation, county, on the universe and beyond.

When Confucius was 50 years old, he was appointed Governor of the state of Lu and had the opportunity to change China for the better. With his ruling Confucius was ahead of his time.

He had some bizzare rules like: women and men should walk on a different side of the road, but he also had some marvelous ideas like: poor children and poor elderly people should be fed on the state expense and education should be equally accessible to everyone no matter the social class.

His theory was that education is not just something you do at a certain period in your life rather is the meaning of life.

He also believed that if every man is educated, there won’t be difference between classes. In Confucius’ class both sons of wealthy noblemen and sons of poor peasants sat together and learnt about the aspects of justice and truth.

Confucius encouraged them that each and every one of them can become a superior man – when aristocracy of noble character matters and not noble birth. Anybody can be a superior man, one just has to desire.

Here are 10 powerful life-altering lessons which are based on Confucius’ philosophy:

1.When anger rises, think of the consequences.

2. If you hate a person, then you’re defeated by them.

3. Never form a friendship with a man who is not better than you.

4. When it is obvious that goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, but adjust the action steps.

5. If they spit at you behind your back, it means you’re ahead of them.

6. What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.

7. Give instructions only to those people who seek knowledge after they have discovered their ignorance.

8. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

9. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.

10. Wherever you go, go with all your heart.

If only half of us were thinking the way Confucius was, the world would be a better place for living.

SHARING IS CARING!

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